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Before you pack that luggage.....

Thursday, May 13, 2010

Raising a pack of wolves big family has taught me what to do before, and after, parental vacations. I feel it's my obligation to pass along these handy tips, all gathered by personal experience, to parents everywhere considering a getaway.



Before leaving:
Always inform neighbors and give them written permission to call police. Drop hints of this in casual conversation with kids.

Count number of children and pets before leaving.

Note mileage, gas level and radio station of the parental vehicles.

Always take note of the level of garbage (and recycle) in the outside can(s) before leaving and upon return. If there’s less when you return you can be certain that someone has some 'splainin' to do.

Give kids your itinerary showing you'll return one day later than you actually will.

Be sure to leave emergency money/credit card and check receipts against change/statements.

Hide all duct tape and rope.


Upon return:

If kids are overly anxious to greet you, suspect that they're engaging in a distraction technique.

Make sure parental TV lock has not been hacked.

Look through digital cameras, cell phone pictures and Facebook pages. Kids tend to be dumb and will take pictures and post evidence of their dirty deeds.

Always check to see if those little indentations in the carpet from the furniture are showing. If they are the furniture has been moved.

Search all cabinets and walls, even behind plants, for signs of cherry tomato fights.

Check grout lines, and beneath items on kitchen counter, for flour that was most probably used in a flour fight.

Check youngest kids for bruises.

Examine all picture frames to see if they've been changed out.

Search the house for new bottles of Super Glue.

Make sure dogs still have whiskers and eyelashes.

If house is sparkling clean, you know that something's up.

Always peruse mugshotlist.com.

If all else fails pay off the weakest link.



  

41 comments:

casey aubut May 13, 2010 at 10:13 PM  

Im your newest follower from Friday Follow! Would love for you to stop by my blog and follow back! Have a great weekend!
www.aubutfamily.com

Traci66 May 13, 2010 at 10:21 PM  

I found your blog via Friday Follow and decided to follow you. I hope you will check out my blog. I am #106 Traci66 on Mr. Linky or http://traci66.blogspot.com Also check out my giveaways on my right sidebar if you get a chance.

Kelly's Lucky You May 13, 2010 at 10:29 PM  

Thanks for the smile!

I'm a new follower from Friday Follow. I hope you'll follow me, too!

http://KellysLuckyYou.blogspot.com

Tonia w/ Chic Modern Vintage May 14, 2010 at 12:53 AM  

I found you via the Friday follow, 11 kids really?

VQ girl in Vietnam May 14, 2010 at 3:06 AM  

Hi Teri,

Thank you for visiting my blog and your kind comments. You're blog is quite fun to read also. I really like the title... it says it all!

Keep in touch.

JennyMac May 14, 2010 at 4:34 AM  

That mugshot list is too funny. Love your list. Our son is only 3 so this will come in handy. LOL

Happy FF!

Eclipsed May 14, 2010 at 6:04 AM  

Following from Friday Follow. Reading your bio makes me sleepy as well. I think it's perfectly acceptable to chain your kids to the bed and leave them some water and cereal for the duration of your trip lol.

THRIFTY CANUCKS May 14, 2010 at 7:40 AM  

Visiting from Friday Follow. Following you on GFC as Thrifty Canucks
If you can, stop by and check out my blog and follow me
http://thriftycanucks.blogspot.com/

Turning the Clock Back May 14, 2010 at 8:33 AM  

Hello there! Just stopping by from the Friday Follow to check out your blog. Come follow back if you get the chance...I have some nice giveaways, recipes, and book reviews going! Have a good weekend!

Diane
www.turning-the-clock-back.blogspot.com

Ron Cooper May 14, 2010 at 8:48 AM  

I'm your No. 50 follower. Please follow back.

My latest postings are, “Simple Gesture,” “Smiles,” “Spring,” “A Feast,” “Love Lifts,” “Wake Up to Serve” and “Soul-itude.”

http://inspiredbyron.blogspot.com/

MommyLovesStilettos May 14, 2010 at 10:17 AM  

LOVE LOVE LOVE your blog!! I'm following you back :)

Shelly Belly's Boutique May 14, 2010 at 11:48 AM  

Hi Diva! Thanks for stopping by Coco Angel Baby. You seem like a cool person, I'm following you now..LOL..hope you have a great weekend, interesting blog!

Rachel Cotterill May 14, 2010 at 11:49 AM  

LOL you are clearly well experienced in this! I bet your kids don't dare to try anything any more......

Lillian Juda Leonard-Beach May 14, 2010 at 12:05 PM  

Stopping by from FF. I invite you to visit mine, only 25 more follows till I reach 100! If I get to 100 this weekend I'll hold my first giveaway!

http://judaleonard.blogspot.com/2010/05/friday-follow-wooo-my-exact-2-month.html

A Mom After God's Own Heart May 14, 2010 at 1:05 PM  

I am a new follower from FF! Great Blog:)

Please come by and follow back when you have a chance!

http://therempels4.blogspot.com

21st C. DG May 14, 2010 at 2:41 PM  

Thanks for stoppin by! Love the blog! I'm followin ya back :)

The Bipolar Diva May 14, 2010 at 9:08 PM  

Thank you all for the kind comments! Yes, I am going to check out blogs now! :)

Cheryl D. May 14, 2010 at 11:46 PM  

Hi! Happy SITS Saturday Sharefest! I love your sense of humor. I'm a new follower ;P

The Bipolar Diva May 14, 2010 at 11:57 PM  

Cheryl, thank you! If I didn't laugh about it I'd be running from the law! Welcome!

JessRaquel May 15, 2010 at 12:35 AM  

Thank you for the kind words and for following me! Your blog is amazing!

Coffee Slut May 15, 2010 at 3:06 AM  

Happy Friday Follow!
Love your blog!

North of 25A May 15, 2010 at 8:31 AM  

LOVE this blog! I am now a follower!
Best,
Colleen

Brenda Susan May 15, 2010 at 9:36 AM  

UM your last comment kinda freaked me out! My post was describing the craziness in my sons houseful of friends and you commented.... "Don't tell me one of your son's roommates is named Cole?"

One of his roommates is named COLE!!! Crazy! But we are in CA and you are on OR right? So I looked at your family pics & your Cole is not our Cole!! Wow, had me going there!!

My 5 Monkeys(Julie) May 15, 2010 at 9:59 AM  

found you through SITS saturday. Have a great weekend.

cheri May 15, 2010 at 12:24 PM  

you are too funny! can i be your protege?

happy SITS sharefest :)

The Bipolar Diva May 15, 2010 at 1:45 PM  

Brenda- heehee! Maybe it goes with the name?

The Bipolar Diva May 15, 2010 at 1:47 PM  

thank you all so much! I'm going to check out the ones of you that I'm not following yet! :)

Life with Kaishon May 15, 2010 at 11:22 PM  

Oh my gosh. So funny. Can't stop laughing. Super glue? : )

The Bipolar Diva May 15, 2010 at 11:33 PM  

Oh yes, Super glue! They forgot to put it away when they were playing ball in the living room and broke a picture frame that my mother had given me. GRRRRR! lol

Allyson & Jere May 16, 2010 at 10:15 PM  

Stopping by from SITS!

Must say, your blog header may just be my FAVORITE ever! So clever and fabulous in every way.

Secondly, loved this post, hilarious! And a bit to true for sure! I may have been known to do stupid things a time or two whilst the parentals were away.

The Bipolar Diva May 16, 2010 at 10:23 PM  

Allyson;

Thank you SO much! I kinda think that the header pretty much nails me...heehee.

Oh and the kids, all I can say is at least there have never been any fires, major broken bones or the selling of younger siblings on Craigslist!

The Grasshoppa:Triplets Plus Two Momma May 17, 2010 at 7:43 AM  

Wow....I must say this is such a thorough list!! How would one know all these little nitty gritty details!!!lol

The Bipolar Diva May 17, 2010 at 10:05 AM  

Grasshoppa;

I paid the weakest link.....heehee

Grace Adams May 17, 2010 at 3:15 PM  

You forgot one: check the marks on the liquor bottles.

Hilarious! I love it because I caught my 16-year-old having a party while I was away.

The Bipolar Diva May 17, 2010 at 3:19 PM  

It's funny you mentioned the liquor bottles. Yesterday my 25 yr old son said "Uh, mom, add alcohol to the list."

Thank you for coming by!

Carrie May 17, 2010 at 3:32 PM  

Oh, that is hilarious...must bookmark for future reference.

So, what do you do if your kids happen to read your blog and see that post? You'll have to figure out new ways to catch them!

Visiting from SITS (and I grabbed your button to add to my "flair" collection

The Bipolar Diva May 17, 2010 at 3:37 PM  

Carrie;

I decided to let my super sleuthy mommy skills be known now since my kids are much older.

They also realize that mom has a direct line to the sheriff's office as well as several rolls of duct tape and a snarling yorkie....heehee

Nolie May 19, 2010 at 8:41 PM  

Love it. Pay off the weakest link.

Tiffany Harkleroad May 20, 2010 at 4:02 AM  

Found you from the 100 post party, great post!

Jessica Anne May 20, 2010 at 1:50 PM  

That is too funny! I will have to remember that for when my kids are older. I think I'll hide the duct tape and rope now, though. :) Found you via Nolie's Place.

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