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Divorce, Pillow, Chocolate!

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Tonight I have a post in list form.
1. Because I'm too pissed to actually write a paragraph.
2. I need a free hand incase I need to grab a pillow and hold it firmly in place over a mouth.
3. I have this bitch lying between my husband and me! My 4 lb yorkie, Martini.

A. Diva wants needs just a bit of chocolate.
B. I get out of bed, go to closet where it is hidden from the masses of rabid hyenas infesting my domicile.
C. It's NOT there!
D. EMPTY bag of M&Ms found on floor beside my husband's side of bed.
E. Wondering if eating all of the chocolate is grounds for divorce?
F. Maybe a pillow over his face will make me feel better.
E. Read on Facebook that daughter has CHOCOLATE CHIP COOKIES downstairs hidden from the matriarch (ok, I'm not that old, but I AM in charge) of this family. I'm pretty sure that's against some law somewhere. But then I'd get congress on my case if I tried to enforce it (JK ok JK)
F. I have taken an ambien and therefore cannot operate a car to actually go get my own. And after Gucci Mama's close call, I am NOT going out tonight!
G. I will sit here contemplating various torture procedures until the ambien takes over.
H. Due to the ambien I'll probably not remember a thing until I look at Facebook or this post tomorrow.
I. I'd say that everyone's pretty damn lucky I took an ambien tonight!


Unknown May 25, 2010 at 1:13 AM  

Oh no! How could someone eat and hide all the chocolate?? That is cruel and unusual punishment, I'm sure it has to be banned in at least 10 states. =(

I love how you had to find out on facebook about the cookies lol. Hope your Ambien kicks in soon and thanks for the kind words earlier, I need them!

Gennie May 25, 2010 at 4:11 AM  

Following you from Follow Me Back Tuesday
Please consider following back.

Tonia Lee Smith May 25, 2010 at 4:15 AM  

Sometimes it gets like that, but at least you're working through it. Thanks for the post!

beadsandmorebylois May 25, 2010 at 5:21 AM  

Hi following you from Follow Back Tuesday! First time I have joined, hope you can follow me back too. Thanks, Lois x

Gucci Mama May 25, 2010 at 6:19 AM  

You mean to tell me HE ATE ALL THE CHOCOLATE and you DIDN'T MURDER HIM? You're a better woman than I. By far. That's a hanging offense in this house.

Cheryl D. May 25, 2010 at 6:31 AM  

Hehe! I've heard of people doing some wacky things on Ambien, but getting in a car and getting a divorce lawyer over a bag of M&Ms isn't one of them!

Nolie May 25, 2010 at 6:36 AM  

If the male eats all the chocolate it is 100% grounds for a divorce.

My Mercurial Nature May 25, 2010 at 6:55 AM  

Love it! Definitely a night to either smother someone, or hope you pass out yourself. ;-)

MommyLovesStilettos May 25, 2010 at 7:10 AM  

Haha. I wouldn't even be able to type if I took Ambien!

Patty Zasloff May 25, 2010 at 7:28 AM  

HA! I love it!! I can SOOO relate...GOTTA have my chocolate fix too!! AND, it pisses me off too when I KNOW that there is supposed to be some chocolate left in the damn cupboard and someone has absconded with it!! LOL

Have a great day, honey!

Hugs, Patty

Ms. Understood May 25, 2010 at 7:35 AM  

LOL!! I don't think the effect of this post would be the same in paragraph form. My husband eats my snacks too. I swear sometimes I have to reign in drive to have my hands become intimate with his neck.

Furry Bottoms May 25, 2010 at 9:33 AM  

Aiee! I hate it when someone finds your secret stash and doesn't let you know... or rather, does let you know. If he knew it was a secret, why did he eat it?!!!!

Monkey Man May 25, 2010 at 9:49 AM  

Chocolate deprivation IS grounds for divorce. I looked it up the the Big Book of Repercussions for Stealing Chocolate.

Anonymous,  May 25, 2010 at 9:56 AM  

Too funny! and yes eating all of the chocolate is grounds for divorce!
Happy Tuesday! I'm a FMBT follower!
Thanks! Daisie

Anonymous,  May 25, 2010 at 9:58 AM  


I have what hubs lovingly calls my 'snack drawer.' Because if I don't hide it..I won't get yeah..I admit-I stash treats for my own pleasure! ;)

Anonymous,  May 25, 2010 at 10:11 AM  

Replies in bullet-form:

A. I have Easter chocolates still in a drawer. Help yourself.
B. I've never heard of a hyena-infestation. Wonder what exterminators charge.
C. D'oh!
D. That's just a blatant slap in the face, isn't it?
E. Under some circumstances, it is.
F. Maybe for a few seconds, otherwise you'll experience remorse.
E and F (again). The fact that you added another "E" and "F" to the list is a good sign that your chocolate craving may have been a medical necessity (Or the ambien is really kicking in).
G. Another blog in the works, perhaps?
H. Let us know how you react when you read this again. See if anything has changed.
I. I know I feel lucky. Got to read this, didn't I?

Unknown May 25, 2010 at 11:49 AM  

Funny post! I am your newest follower from FMBT.


Anonymous,  May 25, 2010 at 11:58 AM  

I love lists. They make everything more important sounding. I also have to be careful what I post on my Facebook because I know my mother will see it and find me out haha

The Bipolar Diva May 25, 2010 at 12:27 PM  

I'm laughing so hard right now at all of your comments! Well, and the fact that in my ambien induced chocolate obsession I added an extra "E" and "F".
Yes, Jacob there is a wild hyena infestation in my home. I think the only way to counter it would be finding a Chupacabra.

TerriAnn @ Cookies and Clogs May 25, 2010 at 4:21 PM  

Following you on 'Follow Me Back Tuesday'.
Deals and reviews from a stay-at-home mother of 1

Unknown May 25, 2010 at 5:41 PM  

Following you from Following Me Back Tuesday- please follow me back :)and be sure to enter my giveaway while you're there.

Happy Tuesday!

Hollywood Glamorous May 25, 2010 at 7:06 PM  

I'm following you FMBTuesday. I'm a new PR blogger myself motivated to succeed through hard work, so to make this into a small business to sustain my household. If you could follow me back perhaps even grab my button it would be so appreciated. Thank you Amanda XOXO

Twitter Hollywood__Chic (two underscores)

Free2bMommy May 25, 2010 at 11:44 PM  

HA! Love G!!! Hope you were able to get your "fix!" haha!!


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