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"Dont' Tell Mom." WTH?

Thursday, May 13, 2010

This is not like my usual posts. This is the post of an extremely hurt and angry mom that needs to vent.

For those of you that don't know, my oldest son was the pedestrian victim of a hit and run last October. The link explaining what happened then is here.

Today he was to go shopping with my youngest daughter for another son's birthday. He texts her and says that he can't go because he's in the hospital waiting for an operating room to open up because he has to have surgery on his leg, the same leg that was re-built last fall. Then he tells her "don't tell mom."

Daughter freaks and begins banging on my door while I'm blow drying my hair. I open the door to a shaking daughter blurting out what she just read in the text.

So, he texted his sister to cancel a shopping trip.

He put her in the bad situation of giving her information and telling her not to tell me.

He didn't text his mom to say "Mom, don't worry but......."

He didn't text my husband to say "Dad, don't worry but......." But he can cancel a SHOPPING trip?

He doesn't answer any of our calls.

My son-in-law goes to the hospital to find out what's going on. Turns out one of the bolts in his leg somehow came apart. How? Well I have my suspicions.

I just got a text that says "surgery tomorrow. no weight on it for three months. haha"

"Ha-FREAKING-ha?" WTH? Surgery=serious. Cast=not so bad. It's not a cast. Six weeks=not so bad. Three months=serious.

Anger doesn't begin to cover how I feel right now. I also realize that the anger is masking the hurt.

I'm not sure I realized when my kids were precious, cute toddlers that being a parent never ends. Oh I knew that I'd always be a mom. I guess I meant that the worry never stops, the wanting to protect never stops and the wanting to be there never stops. At least for the parent.

I'm torn between wanting to go up there and be with him, going up there and slapping him, or taking a deep breath and a Xanex.

By the way, the man that hit my son and left him like a dead deer on the side of the road was arrested. He was charged with the maximum that he could be charged with.


Gucci Mama May 13, 2010 at 2:31 PM  

My children often remind me why lions eat their young. I see I'm not alone there. :-(

The Bipolar Diva May 13, 2010 at 2:37 PM  

HeeHee....I've told that to my kids before!If he wasn't in the hospital under the watchful eyes of nurses and video cameras I might be picking my teeth at this moment!

Anonymous,  May 13, 2010 at 6:28 PM  

i've heard "don't tell mom" more times than I care to! i think they left that chapter out of the "mom's for dummies" book!

Brenda Susan May 13, 2010 at 7:55 PM  

Oh man, this parenting of "adults" is so so tricky! get this...Recently I saw this on my 23yr old sons Facebook status...
"Yo anybody around to give me a ride to the emergency room?"

ahg! He doesn't live with us but he's in the same town!!

I think you just gave me my next blog topic!!

The Bipolar Diva May 13, 2010 at 8:33 PM  

He just called me and it's, what?, 8:30 here. So he says "I'm sorry I hurt your feelings." Hurt feelings doesn't even begin to cover it. My daughter went up there to see him. He had been standing on some rocks, slipped and fell down into a ditch or something. He said he was too embarrassed to call us. He didn't call 911 because he didn't have money to pay the bill and the guy he called took three hours to get to him. So he just layed there for three hours. And he has no idea why I'm s upset.

I think I do need to get that "Moms for Dummies"

Gigi May 13, 2010 at 9:40 PM  

stopping in from Friday Follow...I think I am going to really enjoy your blog and your perspective which really stands out from the refreshing to find something different :)

Brenda Susan May 14, 2010 at 3:59 PM  

Hey Diva, I dedicated my last post to you and this post. But please know that your son is definitely NOT as gross as mine by any means!
Your post just got me thinking about the fun task of parenting an adult.

Sharon's New Life May 14, 2010 at 4:48 PM  

YIKES, I hope your son doesn't have to spend three months off his leg... and I hope he realizes he needs the support of Mom and Dad and shouldn't shield you from things.
I'm your latest follower through FF! I hope you'll stop by my blog at and say hello.

The Bipolar Diva May 14, 2010 at 9:11 PM  

Thank you all so much! Surgery was this morning and, as the good (but seething)mom, I was waiting for him when he came out of recovery. What a day.

I'm off now to look at and follow blogs!

And are too cool! :)

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