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I Don't Care if You Don't Live Here!

Friday, May 28, 2010

I know that I don’t write a “mommy blog” but lately kid stuff seems to be taking me over. God help me!


With some of my last posts in mind and what happened today, I’m seriously beginning to question my parenting/grandparenting abilities. Marcy, if you’re reading this, I am SO freaking glad you don’t work for Child Protective Services any longer, and remember, we’re friends!

I really try to do the correct things. I make sure the kids get their immunizations. I make sure they go to school with clean clothes, well, with clothes on. I keep lots of fruit and healthy stuff around-Strawberry Pop Tarts count right? And I make sure that their computers, phones, iPods and the TV are locked down via parental controls.

Ok, deep breath, here goes. After having so many kids I think that it’s kinda normal to begin to tune out a lot of stuff right? I think parents with just one kid learn that too. Maybe not, but I like to pretend they do.

We were sitting around the living room this afternoon. Cole was on the couch with his broken leg propped up on the ottoman. Jake and Jeremiah were sitting in the floor playing around and scanning through the channels on TV. Nikki was listening to her iPod and I was preoccupied with blogs and Facebook.

Jake: “Nana?”

Me: tuned out.

Jake: “Nana!”

Me: still nothing.

Jake: “NANA!”

Me: “Yeah, yeah, what?”

Jake: “Can you unlock this movie called The Underbelly for us? I’ve seen it before, it’s really good.”

Me: “What? Uh, sure whatever” still not really listening. I grab the remote, punch in the code and go back to my laptop. A few minutes go by. Then I faintly hear screaming, laughing and OMGs.

Jake: “NANA!”

Jeremiah: “MOM!”

Nikki: laughing hysterically.

Cole: “MOM! LOOK AT THE TV NOW!”

Me: “Can’t you kids EVER be quiet?!”

Cole: “MOM! THE TV!”

I look up and there in front of God, my kids and my grandkids is one very beautiful, extremely, explicitly NAKED WOMAN! The kids have erupted in their hyena like laughter. I try to get the remote to change the channel. Can’t do it, have to turn the TV off.

Cole: “Mom, maybe you should check the guide before you unlock the TV.”

Me: “You’re grounded! I don’t care if you don’t live here!”

27 comments:

Allyson & Jere May 29, 2010 at 12:14 AM  

I blame facebook and blogs. Not you! Seriously, they are so addicting and sucking away my very existence.

Just chalk it up to a big OOPSY! And next time, tell them no, you're on to their sheming ways.

Tonia of Chic Modern Vintage May 29, 2010 at 1:31 AM  

LOL, I'm sure that you'll pay closer attention next time.

The Bipolar Diva May 29, 2010 at 1:53 AM  

Oh girls, I know myself way too much! I'll tune those little rats out again I'm sure. And they know that's the time to ask the questions! Although this time I know that my little 10 yr old grandson was completely innocent for his request. We'd watched an episode of the X-Files that had a "dark underbelly" in it. I think he was thinking of that. ?

Kelly May 29, 2010 at 4:07 AM  

I'm LOVE that, "You're grounded, I don't care if you don't live here" My son tries to pull stuff like that on me too. That's too funny. Stopping by from Lady Bloggers.

Run DMT May 29, 2010 at 4:20 AM  

LOL I love foggy bad parenting moments like that because I have them all the time! LOL

Visiting here from the Lady Blogger's Tea Party Social! Have a great weekend! :-)

MrsFuda May 29, 2010 at 4:44 AM  

I can SO relate to this! I think we tune out sometimes in order to preserve our sanity. A quick mini-vacation to our own private island...in the middle of a pile of dirty laundry and a sink full of dishes.

I have 4 sons myself, and the thought of 4 more??? I just don't know how you do it! :)

I'm here from the Lady Bloggers Tea Party, it's very nice to "meet" you!

Katina May 29, 2010 at 5:16 AM  

OOOh! I am so guilty of tuning out! Nice post! Blogging and facebook are mesmerizing! Visiting from the Lady Bloggers Tea Party!

Lori May 29, 2010 at 6:42 AM  

bwahahahaha. first your title had me. this is a great story. i can somehow relate, not having a mommy blog myself. nice meeting you!

Nolie May 29, 2010 at 6:49 AM  

LOL Next time try to double check what you are unlocking. Though I am sure I will be there myself one day.

Courtney May 29, 2010 at 7:08 AM  

I'm visiting from Lady Bloggers Society and I have to say that your blog header is hysterical! Your posts (while frustrating for you, I'm sure) are great reads and very relatable. Nice blog!

Southern Sage May 29, 2010 at 7:17 AM  

Checking Netflix for the Underbelly now!
Thanks for the lead!

Allison May 29, 2010 at 7:22 AM  

That is so funny!! My 9 year ols will be pulling stuff like that very soon!! I tend to block out the kids too. Thanks for the follow! I am following you too.
~Allison
http://the-winfields-7.blogspot.com

Green-Eyed Momster May 29, 2010 at 7:49 AM  

OMG! Thanks for the laugh today! I sure hope you have an awesome weekend.

Hugs!!

Classic NYer May 29, 2010 at 9:14 AM  

not that i'm one to speak, since the only kids i've ever had were not mine... but my philosophy was always say "no" and think about it later. actually, that's not true. my philosophy was always say "go ask your mother"...

Donda May 29, 2010 at 9:46 AM  

The blocking out...I call it selective hearing and I am still perfecting the skill. I haven't let the kids watch the porn awards yet....butgive it time, they are still young. And to your point about selective hearing with an only child...My sister has mastered the skill, probably because my niece has a word limit she has to hit each day...which is extremely high. Think about it this way, if you block the kids out a fraction of the time they block you then it is still a pretty equitable relationship LOL

Jamie May 29, 2010 at 12:06 PM  

Hey Diva, detoured via Java's Friday over 40 Follow.
Read your profile.
One word, WOW


Daughter is being checked out for bipolar too.

Your post was LOL. Something I would of done.

take care and 'drop' on by when you have the time.
Jamie

JoJo May 29, 2010 at 12:30 PM  

Haha amazing story!
Stopping by from the tea part, have a great wknd :-).

Dani_Zaz May 29, 2010 at 1:41 PM  

Stopping in from LBS Tea party.

First of all, I prefer cherry pop tarts. Secondly, this was totally hysterical. My child is not old enough for this to happen to me, but I any totally see how it could happen. Reading TV descriptions is overrated because them you would not have awesome stories like this to share.

TIGHTWAD May 29, 2010 at 2:23 PM  

Visiting from the Lady Bloggas..... blogging can really get in the way, can't it?

cwitgo May 29, 2010 at 2:54 PM  

Thanks for popping in on my blog. I live in La Crosse WI and we have lots of water here. We're right on the Mississippi River. I have a feeling you have some pretty amazing places where you are too.

Lizzie Ann May 29, 2010 at 3:27 PM  

This is the most hilarious thing I've read in a loooooong time. I'm like this with my two kids! (3 and 4mo lol)

I have also been diagnosed with bipolar disorder about 2 weeks ago. I'm glad I found your website and have someone to relate to. :)

Have a blessed weekend

liz@ www.housekeepinginprogress.com

Brenda Susan May 29, 2010 at 10:04 PM  

Ha! Ok I promise not to call the authorities on you. At least I am only ignoring my husband when online for hours! I'll hear him going through the fridge at dinner time & I'll feel guilty....but it passes!

Stacy May 30, 2010 at 2:03 PM  

I can relate, we really learn to tune things out! I learned long ago to make sure that I'm paying attention before I say "yeah" or "yes" because the one time that I'm not paying attention will certainly be the time I've just agreed to something horrible!

Froggy June 1, 2010 at 5:13 AM  

That is HYSTERICAL!

Thanks so much for joining Mailbox Monday! I've subscribed to your blog using olivesauctions AT gmail DOT com

I also followed your blog with Google Friend Connect.

You can find me at http://darwinsfrg.blogspot.com

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