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Kids, Make Mommy a Drink!

Thursday, June 17, 2010

Yeah it's been one of those days, weeks, months, blah, blah, blah....

I've been concerned about one of my sons for awhile now. He shows all of the classic symptoms of bipolar disorder:

restlessness—high energy and activity level

racing thoughts and rapid talking

decreased need for sleep



grandiosity—inflated self-esteem

pursuit of reckless or pleasurable activities

That's the mania part of this disorder. That's usually him.

I haven't heard from him in a few days and I began to worry. He missed several big family events without so much as a text. I talked to him today and the mom antennae sprang into action. His voice was flat, he's withdrawn from everything, sleeping all of the time, not eating, and feeling hopeless. Classic signs of the depressive side.

We've brought up the subject to him a few times and he gets extremely annoyed with us. The last time he said several things that validated my suspicions. He said he felt invincible, full of energy, restless and he needed to travel. He has a personality to die for and his charisma is his biggest downfall. Classic.

I brought up the possibility of bipolar again.

Cole: "Mother"
Me: "Cole"
Cole: Mother!"
Me: "Cole!"
Cole "MOTHER!"

He only calls me "mother" when he's agitated. Ok, I backed off but at least I said a few things to make him think, I hope.

I'm going to ask him if he'd be willing to be screened, and I'll pay, so that he can tell me "I told you so." I know there's no way he'll be able to tell me that. I know that he's affected much more with bipolar than Karli and I are combined.

That scares me. He's much more at risk than we are for self-harm and suicide. He's 25 now so I have very little influence with him and he's the type of kid that if pushed to do something digs in his heels and will not budge.

Then Karli called the pediatrician about some symptoms that Anna-Grace is showing. They want to see her ASAP. The nurse's words were "those symptoms are not those of a well child." She also said "something as serious as this" cannot be ignored. Ok, fun times.

If those lovely things weren't enough I had to do my own laundry today! Me? Laundry? I mean I'm the one that has to ask my kids how to operate the dishwasher on the rare occaisions that I actually have to turn it on. I'd rather scrub a toilet than do laundry. Oh, wait, I pay someone to do that. Never mind.

Next on the list a friend of mine, Kevin, that shall remain nameless called me old! He asked if I was having a "senior" moment! I admit to blond moments, but "senior" moments? Never!

Now I find out that there's something that I've neglected. I can't believe it. I'm not sure how it happened. I mean my kids were washing their own clothes as soon as they were able to reach the controls. They've washed dishes for years. I've taught them how to cook. I made them all sew aprons, even the boys. I've tried to make sure that they're well rounded, able to handle any situation.

When I realized  my mistake I wasn't sure how to handle it. My head was spinning and I began to feel sick. It seems that not one of them, not a single one, can make me a drink! I mean how freaking hard is it to get a glass, pour the correct amount of Tanqueray into said glass, add tonic and a twist of lime?


Liz Mays June 17, 2010 at 5:23 PM  

I hope everything is ok with your son and that your message kinda sinks in. It wouldn't hurt to be tested, and if it were true and he could get some meds to help keep it even, he'd feel so much better! Good luck!

Pop Pop June 17, 2010 at 5:28 PM  

While I admit to you having a 'senior' moment, I only referred to you as old in the sense of being an octogenarian, in the most loving, friendly, humorous (I thought) way, as compared to my own age! You, my dear, will never be 'old', since you have so much liveliness in you!

Pop Pop June 17, 2010 at 5:32 PM  

And if you think it may help Cole to speak with a male with the disorder, I will be more than happy to speak with him. We wuv you!

Unknown June 17, 2010 at 5:43 PM  

Good Luck with your son. Now go teach your other kids how to mix a good martini!

Babes Mami June 17, 2010 at 6:38 PM  

You better get started with bar lessons!

Hope the boy let's you get him checked out, your the only bipolar person I 'know' but I do know it's serious. He is probably scared of the truth but it's important.

Unknown June 17, 2010 at 6:56 PM  

Oh as soon as my kids pop out that is the FIRST thing they are going to learn! I hope your son gets the help he needs, I've often thought Andy might be bipolar honestly but he had a few years of alcohol/drug abuse and once he got clean of all that, he wasn't showing so much craziness. Yet he does have a personality to die for and charisma out the ass...

Jessica Warrick June 17, 2010 at 7:36 PM  

well i hope he listens and seeks help before it gets worse.. i have maniac depression and bipolar dosorder and its hard.. by the way i got an award for you over on my blog.. so go check it out.

Heligirl June 17, 2010 at 7:41 PM  

Oh man, that's so worrisome about your son. I really hope what you've said sinks in and he seeks help. How very scary for you. I gotta tell you, I love that you made sure your kids were well rounded and, girl, you cracked me up good at the end. Way to keep on the bright side! :)

Nolie June 17, 2010 at 7:48 PM  

Oops I hit enter too quickly. I hope your son will at least go get screened. Even to just ease your mind. Maybe it will also help him to accept it and accept help.

Nolie June 17, 2010 at 7:48 PM  

You fail as a mother since you did not teach them to make you a drink. What good is being a mother if you child can not do that.

JoJo June 17, 2010 at 8:09 PM  

Phew I'm glad we can all learn a lesson from this. Now I know exactly what I shouldn't leave out when I become a mother one day :-).

Claudya Martinez June 17, 2010 at 8:24 PM  

Too bad I'm not there, I'd make you a drink. I'm sorry for your troubles. I hope your son takes you up on your offer.

Anonymous,  June 17, 2010 at 8:45 PM  

Interesting checklist you brought up. I can see quite a bit of myself in there, but not completely. Some things I didn't even realize were symptoms, if you want to call them that. Of course, nobody in family has (or ever admitted) to having this disorder, so I'm starting to wonder just where I rank (if I even rank at all).

Incidentally, I keep all my drinks pre-mixed and in a bottle for such moments when I can't be bothered (or can bother anyone else) to get me one. Now if I can just twist the cap off...

Ms. Understood June 17, 2010 at 8:52 PM  

Good luck with your son and I hope you get some answers where Anna-Grace is concerned. You must teach the children to make you a drink, STAT!!! LOL.

Cheryl D. June 17, 2010 at 10:33 PM  

My mom used to make me fetch her cigarettes for her. When I was 6! I hope things go well with your son and he gets tested. Good luck!

LeksiDesigns June 18, 2010 at 4:22 AM  

Found you on social parade! Love the blog name! Check out mine if you get a chance! Have a great weekend!!!!

pamlovesbooks June 18, 2010 at 4:37 AM  

oh yeah! gotta teach the kids to make mommy's drink just right.

~Rachel~ June 18, 2010 at 5:25 AM  

Thank you for stopping by my blog! I am following you back. I like the layout of your blog...who designed it?

Luster Canyon June 18, 2010 at 6:03 AM  

Friday Follower Here. Sounds like you have a full life, I look forward to reading more.

Rebecca Dot Com June 18, 2010 at 6:42 AM  

Good luck with everything! Following you now - found you on FF- Come follow me back! Wow- you have such a big family! That's awesome!

Anonymous,  June 18, 2010 at 7:10 AM  

I've watched my father suffer from bipolar disorder for nearly 10 years now and your son's symptoms sound like he might have it, too. Hopefully he'll seek help, even if it turns out he doesn't need it...good luck, it's hard enough having your own problems, let alone watching a family member deal with them, too.

Unknown June 18, 2010 at 8:32 AM  

Hi there. I'm a new follower and I wish you luck with your son!

Jennifer Juniper June 18, 2010 at 8:58 AM  

That is the best idea EVER!! And it never would have occured to me.. do you think 10 is too young to learn how to make a margarita??

Allyson & Jere June 18, 2010 at 8:58 AM  

Sorry to hear about your son. I hope you guys can get things figured out there soon.

You crack me up with the whole laundry, drink issue. How early is too early to get my kids to start doing laundry? Three? Too early? I need SOMEONE to do something around here besides me.

Candace June 18, 2010 at 10:23 AM  

Hi! I'm visiting from Over 40 Bloggers. I'm now your newest follower. I'm so sorry about your son and hope you can get him to get tested. I really look forward to getting to know you. Have a wonderful weekend! Candace~♥

Candace June 18, 2010 at 2:14 PM  

Thanks so much for stopping by to see me while I was away! Have a great weekend! Candace~♥

Classic NYer June 18, 2010 at 4:26 PM  

Swing by NY and I'll make you a drink, babe.

Bring Pretty Back June 18, 2010 at 7:02 PM  

My heart is just breaking for you - lets pray your son heard soe of what you said to him.
You are such a wonderful woman to have this heavy stuff and be so cute and witty!

jen June 18, 2010 at 9:16 PM  

Sorry about your boy. Kid things are so much harder to deal with than personal issues. I hate the lack of control I have over them. Good luck to you. Hope he listens.

Unknown June 18, 2010 at 9:24 PM  

I've always wondered if I had kids if they'd inherit my bipolar disorder, but my husband doesn't want kids so I'll never know :( I think that's a BRILLIANT plan - to tell him "so prove me wrong and take the test"!

A SENIOR MOMENT! OMG! I would have FREAKED OUT! You're far from being "senior", and who wants to be reminded of being "older" than someone? (but not old!)?

Hazel from Hazel Loves Design June 18, 2010 at 11:49 PM  

I'm a similar age to your son and know that it is difficult to listen to what your parents have to say now, you feel that you have discovered yourself already and are independent so listening can be hard. Eventhough as I have gotten older my relationships with my parents have become better!

I hope he does listen and gets help, although it is usually better coming from a sibling than a parent (well in my case at least, if Mum or Dad tell me I need to do something which I disagree with I usually don't!!!)

All the best with it all!

:) Hazel xox

Hazel from Hazel Loves Design June 18, 2010 at 11:52 PM  

PS You have an absolutely gorgeous blog!!! Love it :) Hazel

Anonymous,  June 19, 2010 at 12:18 AM  

I love the way your post is infused with humor along with useful information on bipolar disorder. I have honestly never thought about it before I read this post. I wish you and your family all the best!

Deb June 19, 2010 at 12:27 AM  

Dropping in from Lady Bloggers, your profile is amazing! You must be a very special family with a lot of love. I really hope your son can find peace and support.

Unknown June 19, 2010 at 4:26 AM  

I hope that things go well with your son...he may buy into the "I told you so" idea, even if you know deep inside that it's not possible...hopefully that will get him the help that he needs.

I'm stopping by from The Lady Bloggers Society Tea Party...I'm your newest follower...have a great weekend!

Figments of a Mom June 19, 2010 at 6:17 AM  

Hi there - stopping in from LBS tea party. Sorry to hear your soon may have bipolar. I am so intrigued by your family life - all those kids! Can't wait to read more.

Anonymous,  June 19, 2010 at 7:57 AM  

Being bipolar myself it scares me to think that any of my 4 kids can also be bipolar. I just can't think about it. It's painful.

But hey great job on all the things you taught the kids, get to work on the drinks though.

Random Blogette June 19, 2010 at 8:36 AM  

Stopping by from Lady Bloggers tea Party! Good luck with your son. I am sure that this situation can't be easy.

Writing Without Periods! June 19, 2010 at 10:42 AM  

I love your honest, upfront way of blogging. It's so genuine. Thanks.

Dee June 19, 2010 at 11:05 AM  

I hope things are okay with your son. I suffer from an anxiety disorder and depression. It's a rough life and I too am always watching, afraid my son will have inherited it.

Grace June 19, 2010 at 11:19 AM  

Yeah, you've definitely failed as a mom if you've raised kids who can't make you a drink! I'm already training mine. My 14-year-old son operates the Margaritaville drink machine and mixes a mean pina colada. But since he's a minor, I add the rum.

The Queen June 19, 2010 at 2:49 PM  

I personally like my voices.. they are always handy when I'm too lazy to go mix my own drink.. hey... juicey.. I'm outa gin here..

I love your header..

got here from a hijack... or High Jack... or Hi Jack.. can't remember.. I'm off.. like panties on prom night... oh look.. gin....................

Anonymous,  June 19, 2010 at 7:36 PM  


I'm 25 just like your son and was diagnosed back in '09 with Bipolar Disorder.

I don't say that I'm Bipolar anywhere in my blog since I didn't know if what I have expierenced was just cause that's who I am and the way I reacted was just how anyone else would handle lifes problems and all of it's ups and downs since as you saw on my blog I have a lot on my plate.

So yea I didn't embrace the possibilty of being Bipolar as my reality but after reading....

restlessness—high energy and activity level

racing thoughts and rapid talking

decreased need for sleep



grandiosity—inflated self-esteem

pursuit of reckless or pleasurable activities

That's the mania part of this disorder. That's usually him.

(That's me too except for grandiosity—inflated self-esteem)

(And Then I read....)

He has a personality to die for and his charisma is his biggest downfall. Classic.

Well now I'm feeling like, WOW! Hold up am I really Bipolar (but just kinda stuck in denial)...You've definitely given me something to think about, again.

W.C.Camp June 19, 2010 at 8:34 PM  

Sorry Diva - your son by definition is a GUY. You know us ... you have to drag us kicking and screaming to do anything. Hope all turns out ok. You are amazing to keep up with all of your responsibilities. I would never make it! W.C.C.

Kimberly Walker June 27, 2010 at 3:51 PM  

Hope everything gets a bit easier for you... will say a prayer for u and ur family.

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