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Meltdown....Espresso, concerta and skipping meds DO NOT mix!

Thursday, July 22, 2010

Ok, so most of you read my first post of the day. If you didn't you need to go see my brilliant answers, some were actually humorous, at least in my espresso amped, concerta wired mind of the morning.

Warning: My language in this post is not lady like, nor diva like, so click out now if you'll be offended.

This day went from really great to complete crap in a matter of hours. Skipping one of my meds today WAS NOT a good thing! Martha Stewart would be so disappointed, like I care what the jail bird would think anyway.

I was on the bike riding through town and was beginning to feel a little shaky, not good when your on a Harley. Then an A-hole, I actually think I called him something beginning with "F" and ending with "R" almost killed me on the motorcycle today by trying to zip around me while I was changing lanes. Idiot (again said in Napoleon Dynamite style).

So I'm home and after taking my meds, video chatting with my bestie the Brat and downing a couple of anti-anxiety pills and I think I may actually live. It was a close one though. I almost, I mean within seconds before the Brat calling, I was ready to call 911.

The Green-Eyed Brat
Isn't she gorgeous? She's SO much fun too, and she gets me!

A good thing that happened today was that when I left the doctor's office I went to get on my Harley.

Isabella and me

Anyway back to my story. I walked out of the doctor's office carrying all my riding gear and was dressed in Biker Chick, uh, Biker S**T (add an L and a U) wear and this really hot guy comes up to me and says "Wow, you're every man's dream looking like that AND riding a Harley." So I was feeling I was all that. Then I got a voicemail and it was nothing, just a reminder that I needed to drop off a check with my insurance guy. I freaking began crying. WTH?

I knew that the crying, the shaking and the general feeling of doom was not a sign that I should be riding more. I went home and continued to decline. Bipolar really SUCKS ASS sometimes! But after a couple of the anti-anxiety whatever they were I decided to tell you a few things that REALLY piss me off!

 This is how I felt today. Actually that would be me if he had blonde hair, platinum and diamond jewelry and a white and pink Harley.


  • Having bipolar and having to be med dependent.
  • Someone telling me to "buck it up" because that's what he'd do. F that crap!
  • People telling me that my kids are "lucky to have us." Uh, idiots, We're lucky to have them! Well, most of the time.
  • People that call my kids "mixed." They are AMERICAN! (Thanks Pam for reminding me of how stupid that comment is.)
  • People ragging on me and thinking that I'm a witch because I drive a Mercedes. Hello, my dad begged me to buy my mom's Jaguar when she died. He couldn't sell it to a stranger and he couldn't see it in the garage. I bought it. I couldn't afford it and rolled it into my mortgage. I traded it for the Mercedes. So see, driving my car does not mean that am anything but a smart consumer. The warranty was about to run out on the Jag and it had a really good trade in value. Mercedes is an incredibly made car. Smart move on my part. NOT a status statement!

Mom's car Kitty
That car was like riding a Thoroughbred race horse! I cried so hard when I had to let her go. Here's a post about that.

  • When kids don't understand when I say shut the heck up or I'll get the duct tape that I mean business!
  • Did I mention that a lot of the time I really hate being bipolar? Except the doc says it adds to my creativity?
  • Not being able to legally duct tape my kids mouths, just for short periods of time. Just kidding, mostly.
  • Having to get up to pee. That gets really irritating.
  • That my dog and one of my granddaughters are crazy for my husband and NOT me unless i give them treats. *tear*
  • That the Brat lives so freaking far away.
  • That my sons-in-law refuse to allow me to have my picture taken with the Gypsy Jokers. Ok, so I admit that is a rebellious thought on my part. They guys are really scumbags. Look 'em up, scary dudes along the lines of the Vagos who(m) I detest!
  • Clothes that smell like mildew, kids that wear clothes that smell like mildew, mildew in general.
  • I really think that my cognitive ability, my spelling and my writing in proper form have declined because of the medications I have to endure.
  • Some of my closest friends are internet friends and I haven't had the chance to meet them. Karyn, Terrie, Stephanie, oh hell I'm going blank....dang meds. There are many more! :(
  • People that can't get over that I'm a chick that packs and rides a Harley. 
  • Intolerance in all forms. 
  • Badly made lattes. Jolene makes the most incredible lattes EVER! Perfect foam! Maybe I should switch to cappuccinos? I that even spelled correctly?
  • That my parents were taken from me too soon. 
  • I miss my brothers
Ok, my ranting for the day is over. Time for a nap, that was exhausting but it sure felt good to get it out!


Christy July 22, 2010 at 6:33 PM  

Badly made lattes are just criminal and mildew should never be allowed. That smell is just obnoxious and I have ALWAYS been in favor of duct taping kids mouths. We are all of the human race. It says so here... Check it out.

Karen Mortensen July 22, 2010 at 6:36 PM  

Oh honey. I wish I was there to give you a hug or something. I am not bi-polar but sometimes I feel like it. I have depression etc. I hate it too.
I also hate to get up and pee too. It sure ruins a good nights sleep.
Don't feel bad about driving a Mercedes. My husband and I drive them too. They are awesome cars.
I feel the same way about my blogging friends as you do. I wish there were some way we sould all meet.
Take care of yourself Teri.

@cheeselessmom July 22, 2010 at 6:41 PM  

Ha! I know exactly how it feels to skip meds. I usually don't realize I have done it until I start screaming at everyone and everything in my path. I can vividly recall threatening to choke my husband if he didn't get me a coffee - I said it with a psycho smile of course. I mean I wouldn't really do that!

It does suck to be med dependent, and it does suck when 1 minute things are good then the next someone says something to you and you are a wreck.

I get it and I know that "sometimes" ranting about it makes it feel a bit tired. The plus side (for me) is that I usually sleep great after a few panic attacks.... (that sounded crazy enough!)

Donda July 22, 2010 at 6:47 PM  

I am going to take the duct tape and caffeine away from you but for your convenience I will leave you with a big ol' pissbag LOL This part of bipolar really does suck and I would never say buck up because I know it is not that easy but I will say just as sneakily as the mood swing will go away. And who would rag on you for driving a Mercedes? Someone who wishes they were driving a Mercedes!!!

Jennifer Juniper July 22, 2010 at 7:12 PM  

I'm fairly certain that I have taped my son's mouth shut before (he asked for it - literally), or maybe I just had a really good dream..
I would be pissed about almost all of those things to, but especially the car. Your mom's car was HOT, and really why is your choice of car anyone's business??

Anonymous,  July 22, 2010 at 7:12 PM  

My parents too, gone way too soon.

Looking damn good in your biker S**T get up and yes brat is a hottie.

Cheeseboy July 22, 2010 at 7:20 PM  

That is such a killer bike. (For a lady, I mean.) Now I am definitely going to have read the last post.

W.C.Camp July 22, 2010 at 7:48 PM  

Hey Diva, I don't want to add to your hit list but you forgot that you don't like to sit down on a 'warm' chair after someone just got up! My DAUGHTER IS THE SAME WAY - WEEEEEIRRRD! Hope you feel better soon! W.C.C.

Unknown July 22, 2010 at 9:07 PM  

My son is bi-polar. I see the struggles he goes through. It took so long for him to consent to go on meds,hes an adult so I couldn't force, which knock wood are working pretty well. Yet, I still wait for the other shoe to drop.

Unknown July 22, 2010 at 9:49 PM  

I absolutely love your harley, I am jealous

Robin July 23, 2010 at 2:05 AM  

I think you just proved that blogging is sometimes the best therapy. Way to vent!

Karyn July 23, 2010 at 5:16 AM  

And you too are one of my closest friends as well- I just wish we weren't on opposite sides of the continent.....BUT one day soon we will meet up somewhere- You know I love ya! HUGS.....

The Invisible Seductress July 23, 2010 at 7:56 AM  

Duct taping children is illegal?? I gotta go,, you never saw me here...

The Invisible Seductress July 23, 2010 at 7:57 AM  

Coming back to send the hugs I forgot in my previous comment.

plus more...

Lyzz July 23, 2010 at 4:59 PM  

Eww I HATE when someone tells me to stop being negative and just smile or whatever .. grr.

Brenda Susan July 23, 2010 at 9:47 PM  

It DOES feel good to get that stuff out doesn't it? I am convinced that blogging saves on therapy costs.

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