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Yes, I'm THAT pissed!

Friday, July 23, 2010

I rarely, if ever, get controversial on my blog. Today, however, I've been thinking about a lot. STOP with the eye-rolling. There are times I do think on topics besides myself. I'm not really as self absorbed as I appear on my site. Whatever!

Anyway, I usually try to avoid controversy since my family life is filled with drama, seriously we need our own reality show.

My friend Pam made a comment on one of my posts about being "mixed." People call my kids "mixed" all the time. My friend over at Classic New York Story talked about people wanting to know her ethnicity, she's AMERICAN! People also say "those poor kids are so lucky to have you!" Excuse me? We're lucky to have THEM! People here also get totally freaked out because my kids are black AND conservative. OMG! What's the world coming to? They look at me like I'm the evil white slave owner of times past.

While we're on that topic, one day my son came home with this disgusted look on his face. I asked what was wrong. He hissed at me "I just learned what YOUR people did to MY people." Ok, screeching tires, time for a history lesson. We went through slavery through the history of man. He learned exactly who was selling their own people to the Europeans. He learned about each and every culture that had slavery and just who was enslaved. He looked at me and said "They didn't tell us about all of that." Of course not. History is being re-written to further divide the cultures. Pisses me off!

No one in the very liberal, I don't mean democratic, I mean FRINGE left Northwest has a clue how to respond to my daughter driving around with her "Conservative Chick" t shirt on. They freak when my son wears his "un-hyphenated" American shirt. They have caniption fit (how do you spell that? Is it southern slang?) that I don't feed my kids fried chicken, watermelon and greens. I mean how stereotypical and racist is that? And what the hell is with these "tolerant" people keying my daughter's car and stopping her in the parking lot to SPIT on it because her car has a "Conservative Christian American" sticker on it? You certainly won't find my family doing that to a car with a "Darwin Fish" or an "Obama" sticker on it.

I get tired of the fringe, both black and white AMERICANS, telling me that we're evil "European-American's" (don't you DARE hyphenate my nationality!) for "indoctrinating" my kids and making them "Oreos." WTF?

I hear things like "Why don't you teach your kids to talk black?" This from someone that clearly believes that there is some sort of corner on proper English. "Why don't you let your kids wear sagging jeans?" Uh, hello? My kids are taught respect for themselves and those around them.

Then there are those that believe that it's completely acceptable to talk about "chocolate town" and "those people" around me. Check you off my list. You really think that because I'm white it's ok to speak like that around me?

My kids are children of their Creator first, Americans second and then they are Worleys. They don't check boxes on forms unless they circle ALL of the boxes (now that really upsets people).

I also made a reference about tolerance in a former post. I need to explain that a bit I think. I'm a Christian, that in NO way means that I think less of those that choose to believe differently. I respect their beliefs as they should respect mine. I'm not gay. Ok, now two strikes against me. I'm Christian, I'm not gay, I must HATE gays. I don't. Some of my very best friends are gay, I have family that's gay. I choose the people I associate with by their ethics, their character, their empathy. If you vomit tolerance you better damn well tolerate others.

It's no wonder this country is so messed up!

Another friend of mine, Christy, sent me this link. Really is this really THAT hard to get? I ask you to watch this short clip and I hope that you really listen to which race is the most important.


Jennifer Juniper July 23, 2010 at 4:22 PM  

How can people be so ignorant (and rude)?? People are who they are regardless of their color or political affiliation or religion.

Lyzz July 23, 2010 at 4:23 PM  

Hey there, I am a new follower ..

I can't believe that someone asked why you don't teach them to talk like black people .. OMG ..

I think it takes a wonderful person to adopt. I've always wanted to .. your children are beautiful.

Best of luck with the ignorant people.


Snowbrush July 23, 2010 at 4:29 PM  

I came to Oregon from Mississippi with the impression that liberals (around whom I had never lived) were tolerant, compassionate, loving, open, and all other things good. I'll tell you, I was so sick of Southern conservatives when I moved to western Oregon that I half expected liberals to have wings. After all, they were always the good guys in the movies. Right away, I learned that many--if not most--of them looked down on me as soon as I opened my mouth because what came out was enveloped in a Southern drawl. I have long since learned that being liberal in no way interferes with a person's propensity for bigotry. Now, pass the grits, Ellie May.

Unknown July 23, 2010 at 4:29 PM  

My little spitfire is malato , hubby and I get a lot of quizzical looks when we're out with her. I get mistaken for her mother quite a bit. ( not complaining) But the looks grate on my nerves. Um people MYOB.
My daughter's girlfriend's mother referred her to being 'gringo' , it stopped me for a heartbeat but then again she's old country and 66 yrs old.
I also have hubby's grandmother who referrs blacks as 'coloured' . How's that for a wince? She's too old and deaf to take on that argument. sigh.

I know how you feel, old country aside. I see it every day. But I've learned to pick my battles. Weighing ignorance against plain racist. Simple minds against manipulating ones.
And when the occasion arises, I happily start tearing strips off the deserving.

Dee July 23, 2010 at 4:30 PM  

AMEN! I'm sick of this race crap. The census taker who came to my house? I told him that I was african american - even though I am a pale skinned, redhaired, blue-eyed person. My husband, who is Cuban? I said he was Irish. LOL


The Bipolar Diva July 23, 2010 at 4:40 PM  

Snowbrush, you're southern? No wonder a native Texan like me loves you!

Babes Mami July 23, 2010 at 4:42 PM  

Wow! I can't believe that people say these things to you!

Nicole July 23, 2010 at 4:48 PM  

OOh my. I could NOT agree with you more. Here are just a few posts I have tried to tackle this issue in:

Are just a small portion..
Well said - and excellent vent!

The Bipolar Diva July 23, 2010 at 4:49 PM  

Babes Mami~ I know! A few years ago I would have ripped them apart! But with my *cough* old *cough* age I've mellowed a lot!! But I still pack heat and if anyone physically threatens my family they don't stand a chance!

The Bipolar Diva July 23, 2010 at 4:55 PM  

Thanks Nicole, I'll get to those right after I feed my kids their watermelon..., I mean after

Anonymous,  July 23, 2010 at 4:55 PM  

You and your family continue to impress me and are an inspiration of how a family should conduct themselves.

I am someone who believes that a code of conduct should be adhered to by everyone, regardless of race, or religion or political views....none of that matters if the individual has no true principals or morals to live by.

I learned a few short years ago, that love, in itself is not an emotion. Its a way.

If I love you, I wont try to take you away from your man.

If I love you, I wont steal from you. Lust after the possessions of your life. Covet the wonders, you have worked for.

If I love you, I wont lie to you, or about you.

If I love you, I wont try to convert you to my way of viewing God. Or criticise your way....

I read your blogs, because they are windows to the lives of your children, and how they progress in such an amazing family, as well the wonders of your color-full world.
I said that in the most humbling way I could.

I am priviledged to witness tomorrows world today, thru you.

Don't be pissed at the ignorant. They don't know, that they don't know. Teach God's children well. While you may live in spite today, of others who would trample on the joys of your efforts, your reward will be waiting for its own time.

Theres a saying, I'd share with you afore I go.

"The Full Fruit of a Labor of Love, lives in the Harvest, and 'That' Always Comes in It's Right Season".

Sometimes the Labor of Love isn't yours...but of God as you understand Him working thru you.

Love them hard. Love them true. The love will always come home to you.

Your friend always,
John The Hebrew

The Bipolar Diva July 23, 2010 at 4:55 PM  

Jennifer, I'm still so worked up about writing this post that I'm shaking mad! Thank goodness for xanex!

The Bipolar Diva July 23, 2010 at 5:03 PM  

John, you are a true and wonderful friend and one day, here or there, we will meet and rejoice over the tribulations we've overcome.
I do love you.

Unknown July 23, 2010 at 5:37 PM  

Very well said. Now where are you hiding my Geodon,oh wait, it's over here!

Christy July 23, 2010 at 5:38 PM  

I thought of that link as soon as I saw your post. It is how everyone should see race. We all belong to the human race. Love ya! The people who ask you should see that clip. They need it more than any of us. CAUSE WE ALREADY KNOW!!!

Classic NYer July 23, 2010 at 5:44 PM  

wow, you tackled a lot of stuff here... and thanks for the shoutout! I have to say though that your "slavery history lesson" I find to be a bit of a weak arguement and a bit of a cop-out as well. Kind of the same as when I got a low score on an exam and my father asked me why I didn't get a higher score and I said "nobody else got a good score either." American slavery caused a big ugly lingering problem in America even for generations after slavery was technically abolished. The fact that we're still talking about "race" now (whatever the fuck "race" is anyway) is a testament to that. Not that I'm saying we should we should bring up the whole "my-people-your-people" bullshit b/c after all, you haven't done anything to me and I haven't done anything to you (except this! ::flicks diva and runs away laughing::) But seriously though, folks... I think tolerance is about owning our responsibilities and being understanding, not about blame shifting and excuse making. I know it's not your fault that some Africans were stolen out of their continent two hundred years ago, and you know it's not my fault that everyone in this country who wasn't white was treated like shit for generations... and let's be real, there's some skeletons in the closet on our side as well... so now what are WE (not just you and not just me) going to do about it? I say we say "fuck it" and have some margaritas. What do you think?

gone July 23, 2010 at 5:51 PM  

Truly great and much needed post! This country has lost its friggin mind... Sounds like you are raising amazing kidlets to say the least. OK, now do it with me, deep cleansing breaths....we feel better dont we. Well, not really, however you are at least smiling now.. and it is simple things like that we cant live without!
Hope you and the family have a great weekend.
Stay Fabulous

The Bipolar Diva July 23, 2010 at 6:19 PM  

Classic Nyer;

I hope I didn't come across as slavery wasn't a huge issue in this country, it was horrible and you're right it has had a lingering effect. I should have prefaced that we went to a black world history professor friend of mine for our lessons. Most of what I learned I learned from him and not in school. I not only wanted my kids to know about American Slavery, but World Slavery. They weren't being taught that at all. And the way they put it to cause my son, yes it was horrible, but to have him come home with hatred for his mother because of the WAY they taught it really got to me. I'm a big believer in ALL of history, not the selected history of today. Yep, you're right again, there are skeletons in everyone's closets. Oh man, don't even look in mine :o (Ouch that flick hurt! I'll catch up to you!)
I was going through my great-great grandfather's things a few years ago and there was a letter from the Imperial Wizard inviting him to join the Klan. He had "idiots" written across the envelope. Not sure why he kept it, but it was interesting. But on the other side there is the fringe as well that wanted (s) division as well as the David Dukes of the world. It sickens me.
Ok, where the heck are those margaritas? Next time I'm in NYC I'm flicking that nose! Love you!

W.C.Camp July 23, 2010 at 6:27 PM  

I discriminate all of the time but it has nothing to do with race. If a person is a jerk, they are a jerk. If a person can't speak properly then they have not been taught properly. I wish I knew the right answer to make people BELIEVE in themselves as individuals first. I am proud to be an American and even a part of my family heritage of course. But truly it is the individualism of myself, my wife, kid, family - and yes even these dumb blogs which grow like weeds, that makes me most excited in life. All the other stuff is just secondary. Nice post Diva - keep the faith and your sense of humor and you'll do just fine! W.C.C.

JoJo July 23, 2010 at 7:31 PM  

Here here Diva!

I think you put it perfectly. I have so much respect for you and your family!!

It's awful how facts and history are so misconstrued and causing so much more hate and intolerance as a result!

Karen Mortensen July 23, 2010 at 7:43 PM  

Amen, amen and amen. You are right on here. I think the people that talk about tolerence are the most intolerant. This is one topic that gets me steamed.

Anonymous,  July 23, 2010 at 7:52 PM  

Well surely know my stance on hypenated Americans. I swear I'd slap the shit out of someone if they called me ______-American. There is only one race, the human one.

YOu hit a pure frickin homerun right here. I mean out of the park. Perfectly stated.

It always shocks me about the intolerant. It is insane to think that the people who spew about tolerance are absolutely the least tolerant. The most closed minded and the most partisan.

Excellent post, perfectly stated, linked tomorrow.

You rock.

Jennifer Juniper July 23, 2010 at 8:03 PM  

I realize that I already commented, but I had to tell you - this evening while I was making dinner, the 10 year old's walking through the house complaining, loudly, about how the "Mexicans" are taking over Texas. I about dropped the frying pan.
Our family is about as diverse as it comes, and those words coming out of his mouth made my heart hurt.
10 minutes later he was shaking, staring at his feet, almost in tears and about ready to call his hispanic uncle to apologize after the "talk" that we had.

Unknown July 23, 2010 at 8:32 PM  

Wow-I guess since I became a follower and friend of you Teri that I never for the life of me thought that you would have to go thru the discrimination and racism which seems to abound. Honey, be pissed, but then move on. You are indeed teaching your children that we were created equal.
It is a disgrace and a shame that in 2010 such hatred and bigotry exist. I, in fact have pity on those ignorant people who feel the need to open mouth and insert foot. A lot of times, this is how they were raised and do not know any better. Even though they should! Now,I by no means am making excuses for ignorance but do hold schools accountable for some of this. What your son had to listen to, to be taught in a classroom alongside his peers is just plain ass wrong! I hope you confronted the teacher and the school. Like the Bible (my opinion) was written by man, for man. Men dominated women for years and still do in some countries. Slavery is still going on today, its just not talked about. Right now, there is a woman in Iran who's son is pleading for her life for she will be stoned to death. Being an American, we do not see the ugly that is out there. Our news does not bring to life the true stories of hatred and horror today. I am somewhat ashamed by some people who have the audacity to even ask questions which are none of their business. One of my favorite quotes is, "just lest ye be judged, and ye will be judged tenfold." People will be held accountable for their ignorance and hatred one of these days. It is just truly sad that your children, my children, any child has to deal with such.
You my friend and your husband have a beautiful family. You are an honest woman, with amazing character and I know that you got the goods. We as mothers and fathers are our childrens biggest supporters and defenders. What hurts them hurts us ten times more. YOU are a beautiful woman with a beautiful soul. I know that others ignorance will not bring you down, but lift you up...oh yeah, and kick some ass if you need too. JUST Saying! Bless you and your babies.

Your Friend- Angie

Unknown July 23, 2010 at 8:44 PM  

All I can say is keep on preaching it my fellow Christian sister. While I don't have a "mixed" family I understand where you are coming from and I think what you are doing with your kids is what God wants and you all are being good stewards.

Unknown July 23, 2010 at 8:44 PM  

Seriously, some people really need their right to speak revoked. Like Ron White says, "you cant fix stupid".. but like I say... you can always throat punch it !

Snowbrush July 23, 2010 at 8:50 PM  

"Snowbrush, you're southern? No wonder a native Texan like me loves you!"

I'm not just from Mississippi, I'm from SOUTH Mississippi! You're from.....the Beaumont/Port Arthur area, is it? Peggy was a San Antonio rose, by the way.

Do you know Sonia from Austin yet? (

Pop Pop July 23, 2010 at 9:12 PM  

All I have to say is I am proud of you and your entire family! You exemplify a united family of Americans. Yes, everybody has roots across the pond, but those roots would wither and die if not for the fertile ground we call America. This is where we grow, this is who we are. Those that insist it is otherwise should get in their boats and go back to where they think their roots can build a stronger family. Our families grow and are strengthened by the love, caring, compassion, and caring we use to fertilize our roots. A weed can grow anywhere, but a garden takes work and care. And your garden is growing superbly, thanks to you

Ms. Understood July 23, 2010 at 9:21 PM  

Wow. I can't believe the crap you've had to deal with and in turn your kids have had to deal with. I'm a conservative democrat. Oxymoronic to some I'm sure, but that's how I carry myself. I believe alot of what you are confronted with is the discomfort people feel when you dare to be different from them. It makes them examine themselves. It makes them wonder if they could be wrong.

middle child July 23, 2010 at 9:41 PM  

Do people really do and say those things to you and your family? Sounds like you have done all the right things in raising your kids. May God continue to bless you as you are a blessing to all who know you. Christian, American, Human. I love it.

Carrie July 23, 2010 at 9:53 PM  

I grew up in a very mixed environment and one of the things that I will never forget is something an old and I mean like DIRT old (she was probably 50 at the time, but I was 8...she seemed OOOOOOOOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLDDD) woman told me. She said that nigger is not a color it's an attitude. (she was black/african american/whatever your pick is) This came when I asked her why it was such a negative word, I was the red headed, freckle faced kid who knew we were all a little different but didn't get the whole good/bad side of it. I was just pissed that I got the red hair but my best friend had hair that you could put these amazing tiny little braids with beads and stuff!! So from then on I understood it so much better and it annoys me when people try to use a skin tone to stereotype when attitude is a much better way to stereotype ;)

I have a bumper sticker that says "We will continue to try to get ahead of each other as long as we keep calling them "races". "

And finally, my daughter who is 11 and doesn't see why there should be a difference just because someone tans better than I do ;) told me that brown people are born brown, they're brown when they are sick, brown when they have been in the sun, and brown when they die. However, white people are pink when they are born, green when they are sick, red when they have been in the sun, and gray when they die. So why exactly are the brown people, "colored"? :D I love child wisdom!!!!

I applaud you for the stand you take, you should be proud of your kids and that their beliefs are not based on the stereotypical beliefs of others of their nationality/race/skin tone/gender/whatever other crap you want to pick as the reason why you SHOULD vote one way or another ;)

The Bipolar Diva July 23, 2010 at 10:06 PM  


I was born in Big Spring and was raised in the DFW area. All of our family is still there. We've been here for 20 years now.

Anonymous,  July 23, 2010 at 10:09 PM  

Give'em hell Divalicious!
I know some gays that LOVE you.... enough to let you hold their beaver even!

Miss ya!

The Bipolar Diva July 23, 2010 at 10:16 PM  

Yes, people say things like that to us, or they ignore is because they are uncomfortable and have no idea what to say. Their ignorance gets to me, I just hate that my kids have to deal with it as well.

Donda July 23, 2010 at 10:37 PM  

BEST POST EVER!! People are really up in your mix so much that they need to know what you feed your kids? I would just retort back with "do you feed little Johnny tea and crumpets??" I would be pissed too!!!

Robin July 23, 2010 at 11:11 PM  

Amen. What a beautiful post. Thank you for sharing your story. You are an amazing woman.

Holly July 23, 2010 at 11:26 PM  

Totally agree. My niece and a friend of mine deal with this garbage all the time, too. And I have never seen more responsible and respectful children as the ones my friend is raising. My niece actually had hers and she still gets it... What happened to the best interest of the child being what's important?? They are loved, raised to be responsible contributors in society. That's what our country is in NEED of!!

Terra Heck July 24, 2010 at 4:06 AM  

Wow, a lot of what you posted rings so true! Respect, common sense, and simple courtesy go a long way yet it seems that's quickly dying. Your kids seem like well-rounded individuals.

Jewel July 24, 2010 at 9:32 AM  

Interesting Blog. Following.


Anonymous,  July 24, 2010 at 11:40 AM  

very well said....


Diva (in Demand) July 24, 2010 at 12:09 PM  

I've been a silent follower for a while now but those sure are some ignorant people! My mother used to circle all the "bubbles" that applied to me in school and tell the Principal to PICK ONE. I've been called colored, mulatto, and half breed. I am still amazed at stupidity!

You are a very patient person to not curse everybody over.....especially over that watermelon comment!

Amber July 24, 2010 at 1:26 PM  

You're such a great mama. Don't let anyone get to you about that. You're right, no wonder this country is so screwed up!

Go check out my blog, there's an award for you!

Veronica Leigh July 24, 2010 at 4:13 PM  

Great post, I totally agree with you. Good job!

Anonymous,  July 24, 2010 at 4:28 PM  

I just love your blog! Passing on a fun award to you, see my blog today!

Monkey Man July 24, 2010 at 4:33 PM  

Boy, howdy. You sure bit off a big bite of topic here. I am not going to write another blog post as a comment - I just can't tolerate that - but I will say the religion, race, sexual orientation, economic status, etc have nothing to do with tolerance or bigotry. It mines down to the core of the individual. I feel for those who need to demean, slander or nutshell in order to make themselves feel better. You have a beautiful family. And that is just what it is - a family. Thanks for your rant.

pamlovesbooks July 24, 2010 at 6:49 PM  

WOW! this stirred up quite a controversy. Good for you for getting it out there and thanks for mentioning me. I am SICK to DEATH of talking about what race I am. I'm a people.

p.s. I get this comment alot: (whispering) "oh your first husband was BLACK!" As if they finally figured me out. But then I wait a few minutes before I answer them and then they go "ooooooh, you're black toooooo". DUH.

Lee S Darryl P LeShane July 24, 2010 at 8:33 PM  

Really good book is called " American History In Black And White.

Secondary to that Ignore the Morons, You and Jeff have a awesome family. I told karli the other day I lvoe seeing all the family pictures yawl put up. The love and fun yawl have is so phenomenal.

Small People with small minds always ask the small questions, its a sign.

Love yawl


Jaime July 24, 2010 at 8:43 PM  

Some people are so stupid - unfortunately I need to put some of my own family members in that category!

This is a really really really good post. I grew up in an area where I was a minority. If you look in my high school yearbook there is an obvious melting pot of different races, colors, and ethnicity. Till this day I bump heads with people who judge me on my willingness and comfort level with those of other races. Again, some people are so stupid.

*Pammy pam: I love your comment - why the hell do people feel a need to separate races? Can't we just celebrate cultures and ethnicity?!

Before I forget: Mrs. Diva, check out my last post entitled "Gold Star". I noted you as one of my favorite blogs and shared an award with you on it. (No - it does not require any action from you, I just wanted to let you know about it)


Donna,  July 26, 2010 at 9:06 PM  

I love your post, I think that you're kids "circling" everything on a form is AWESOME!!! I am going to do that from now on!!!!

Snowbrush July 27, 2010 at 10:37 AM  

"We've been here for 20 years now."

Oh, but of course, you're here in Oregon. I'm so sorry I forgot, but then I forget an ever increasing number of things.

Peggy and I came here 24 years ago, but we left for two, so our tally is 22.

Unknown July 27, 2010 at 1:48 PM  

Oh man you are so much greatness it hurts. People tell me my daughter will never be accepted by either white or black people because she is neither. I make it a point that I would rather she not be accepted by those types of people than to end up acting like one of them.

Anonymous,  July 28, 2010 at 4:59 PM  

When I see your children, I see a big family filled with love. Period. I wish the world could see this too! xo

Erin October 1, 2010 at 4:43 PM  

Beautifully written! What a wonderful mother -beautiful person you are!

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