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Interesting Question

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

 While I was making my way around the blogosphere this evening tying to catch up on my reading I saw an interesting question posted by Traci66 on her "Ask Momma Anything" post.

The question was "Do you bribe your child to do things?"

My first thought was not just no, but HELL NO! Then I Googled the definition:

bribe  (brb)
1. Something, such as money or a favor, offered or given to a person in a position of trust to influence that person's views or conduct.
2. Something serving to influence or persuade

Usually when I think of bribing a child I think of something along the lines of "If you don't throw a fit I'll give you a cookie. Please, pretty please don't throw a fit." To me that means the kid is the puppet master and the parent is the puppet.

Then I read the second definition, something serving to influence or persuade, and I had to re-think my initial reaction. I realized that I do things that are intended to influence or persuade.

"What? You don't want to eat the dinner Mommy made? That's ok. There's always breakfast tomorrow. You won't starve, well not to death."

"You got up too late to catch the bus for school? Guess you better get walking. Oh, and take an umbrella it's pouring out there."

"You're kidding me? You want an allowance? Let me get this right. You want me to pay you to be a part of the family and help out? Think again. You want money? Do something outside of your normal responsibilities."

"Before you throw that fit you better realize that I brought you into this world and I can take you out of it!"

"Really? You're gonna run away because I won't let you have a TV in your room? Here's $25, catch a bus."

Kids need boundaries, absolutes, to feel safe. They need to know there's someone in control. They need to learn that they aren't the Sun and we aren't the planets. They need to learn to respect themselves and those around them. They need unconditional love and unconditional consequences. They need to know that their parents are parents and not puppets. But mostly my kids need to understand that I'm the mom, I pull the strings. I don't understand how a loving parent can send their kids into the world and not teach them the rules the world plays by.

So bribery, yes, I use bribery. I teach them the rules, I expect them to follow the rules. If they choose not to I have all sorts of ways I will influence them. This mama don't play no games.


On another note I'm leaving bright and (ugh) early tomorrow morning on a week long motorcycle trip. I think I may try to vlog some of it, should be fun!

Love you guys!


Daisygirl September 21, 2010 at 9:47 PM  

Have fun on your motorcycle trip! I bribe ya I do!

Ladii September 21, 2010 at 10:26 PM  

Great Post! Lol my LO is still 20 Months but he tries to pull my trings by refusing to nap and crying till some one lets himout! i just leave him its mostly whining eventually he falls asleep [i mean i know when hes tired!] Wow 11 kids? how do u do it i can barely handle 1 lol and are you seriously a grandma? Wow My grandmother looks good for her age but you look great to have 11 kids and 13 grandkids lol new follower hope to see you stop by my blog

Rob-bear September 21, 2010 at 11:00 PM  

Hope you have a great adventure. And that you didn't have to bribe the kids to behave while you're gone.

Unknown September 21, 2010 at 11:10 PM  

Have a great trip. i think everyone uses bribery in some form or another.

The Bipolar Diva September 21, 2010 at 11:19 PM  

Oh no. My kids know that the neighbors have telescopes and the number to the police department. They know all and see all and report all. The worst we've had while we were away was a cherry tomato fight. Man my house was sparkling after two weeks of non stop cleaning by grubby, little paws.

W.C.Camp September 21, 2010 at 11:39 PM  

Seems like a reasonable way to raise kids to me. Once mine gets out of juvenile hall, there are going to be a few changes around here. I want to be the SUN for awhile instead of a big MOON! W.C.C.

Debbie September 22, 2010 at 3:36 AM  

I like your kind of bribery!!

Donda September 22, 2010 at 6:26 AM  

I am pretty sure there is noone in m life I don't's the capitalistic way! Be safe on your trip!

The Green-Eyed Brat September 22, 2010 at 6:26 AM  

Uh, did you log into my blogger account?!?! I started a blog last night kinda along these lines....funny....we do THIS ALLLLLLL the flipping time!!!!

Michelle Pixie September 22, 2010 at 7:11 AM  

I am the puppet master around here too! ;-)

Have a great trip!!

JoJo September 22, 2010 at 10:12 AM  

I'll be coming to you for parenting tips in the future. You seem to know what you're doing!

Have fun on your trip!

Anonymous,  September 22, 2010 at 10:37 AM  

LOVE your answer!!

Mimi September 22, 2010 at 10:58 AM  

I do the occasional bribe to get my teen to do things, but usually it's just part of their jobs.

Have fun on your trip & be safe.

Hugs & love,

Ladii September 22, 2010 at 11:57 AM  

You have an Award on My Blog

Holly September 22, 2010 at 10:35 PM  

Great post!! And I agree and use most of these, too...

Ever seen Ben Hur? This is hubby's favorite line from it that he tells the kids.

"We keep you alive to serve this ship!"
Here's another favorite:
"I'm tired, go to BED."

HAH!! (((HUGS))) to you and have an AWESOME road trip!! ;D

Anonymous,  September 23, 2010 at 5:13 AM  

Thanks for linking up on Ask Mommma Wednesday! You have a great and funny blog!

I think I do bribe, but the 2nd definition. I think every parent does to keep their sanity! Lol

Pat September 23, 2010 at 7:44 AM  

I'm a pushover as a mom. Where were you when I was raising my kids? Now it's too late!

Have a great trip!

Babes Mami September 23, 2010 at 5:03 PM  

I fully intend to do this type of parenting!

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