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Really? Really She's Not Blonde?

Friday, September 3, 2010

My daughter, my sweet twenty year old, took beginning motorcycle classes this week. Yep she wants to be a bike chick like her Mama!

I told her to leave early for the class to allow time for traffic, getting lost and making sure she was there a little early.

I get this phone call from MY HUSBAND, NOT Nikki, saying that the Land Rover had stopped in the middle of the street. She gave him the location, which was no where near where she should have been.

I freaked and called her to find out where she was, this was after we had gone over and over the directions, given her a map and explained to take the directions going EAST bound on the interstate and not WEST bound.

I get her on the phone, finally, and asked where she was. She began to babble, in Edith Bunker style, about everything that happened with the car. I had to scream at her to get her to calm down and answer my question.

"Where the hell are you?"

"In the middle of the street."

"Which freaking (substitute word) street?!"

She then gave me the supposed streets. Which were the wrong streets that were 100 blocks away from where she should have been. A policeman happened to show up and finally gave me her correct location.

I talked to her dad again and he strongly reminded me to remain calm. I'm not known for being patient when I don't get my questions, my direct questions answered (thanks dad).

I tried to talk to her again and again got a run down on what the car did, NOT the answer to my question. I wanted to know if she got out of the car and was safe. That little question took days to get answered. I mean, car breaks down in the middle of the street YOU GET OUT AND GET TO A SAFE LOCATION SO YOU DON'T GET KILLED!

I finally found her and asked how she got to where she was. She showed me the directions she used. The ones going WEST bound and not EAST bound, although she was going east on the interstate. She argued with me for a while until I asked her which way she was going on the road.

"I was going east, and I followed these directions." She was pointing to the wrong directions.

GRRRR! Then I was left standing in the rain, I DON'T do rain, for AAA and she made it to her class on time.

Now she's telling me she'll NEVER use mapquest again because they put their directions in the wrong place. The way she was going should have been listed first.

If she wasn't black I'd SWEAR she was blonde!


Liz Mays September 3, 2010 at 2:20 PM  

From my perspective, the whole thing is hilarious!

Unknown September 3, 2010 at 2:25 PM  

lol--well at least she didnt' wreck it and it just stopped working on its own. My eighteen year old has wrecked my car three times. Well two if you count she thought she put it in park, got out of the van, went into the building and came back out to see that it had backed up and completely went across the road, jumped a curb and crashed into a brick building. And well, she is a blond in true fashion.

P.S. I'm not one to not like my direct question answered either. Sometimes a simple yes or no is all I frickity frack need. Geez- damn kids!

Snowbrush September 3, 2010 at 2:29 PM  

And I get NO credit for sending you that blonde joke! Yet, if I HADN'T sent you that blonde joke, you would have probably said that your daughter acted like a MAN, which would have made NO (substitute word) sense at all since EVERYONE knows that men are REALLY GOOD at following directions AND at answering direct questions.

Allyson & Jere September 3, 2010 at 2:31 PM  

"if she wasn't black, I'd swear she was blond." FUNNIEST comment ever.

I'm still just totally confused as to what happened at all. Why did the car break? Why was she in the middle of the road?

But, at least she's safe, and made it to her class in one piece.

And hey, free blog fodder. What more do you want?

The Bipolar Diva September 3, 2010 at 2:46 PM  


I LOVED your blonde joke! I'm still laughing about it!

I guess I didn't think of the man thing because my husband is the best direction follower, giver of all time. Unusual I
Me on the other hand and just like my dad was, I REFUSE to ask for directions! But hey, I am blonde, so maybe that has something to do with it?
But with the direct questions...he has NO idea! She must get that from HIM! heehee

Robin September 3, 2010 at 2:55 PM  

Maybe she's a pineapple, dark on the outside but blonde on the inside.

Funny story. Good job not killing anyone. I hope you bought yourself some chocolate afterwards.

Robin September 3, 2010 at 2:55 PM  

Maybe she's a pineapple, dark on the outside but blonde on the inside.

Funny story. Good job not killing anyone. I hope you bought yourself some chocolate afterwards.

Robin September 3, 2010 at 2:55 PM  

Maybe she's a pineapple, dark on the outside but blonde on the inside.

Funny story. Good job not killing anyone. I hope you bought yourself some chocolate afterwards.

Snowbrush September 3, 2010 at 3:01 PM  

Diva, men are, generally speaking, better oriented spatially just as, generally speaking, women are more fluent with language. If either gender is superior overall, I should think it would be yours, yet we men do have our strengths.

Nolie September 3, 2010 at 3:25 PM  

LMAO! Where are you? In the middle of the street. I laughed. Sorry it was funny. At least she is safe. Oh and next time.. leave your husband waiting in the rain for AAA.

Dazee Dreamer September 3, 2010 at 4:18 PM  

You know, I have to agree a little bit with your daughter on the mapquest N/S/E/W shit. I did the same thing when in Vegas trying to get to my brothers. Thank god I have a gps now. at least it tries to tell me how to get there.

The Bipolar Diva September 3, 2010 at 4:53 PM  

Monkey Man;

You'll know me if you see me Personalized plates with my company name and always be on the lookout for a white and pink Harley. My husband's in your part of the area A LOT for work. You may see his big, black Gecko truck! lol

The Bipolar Diva September 3, 2010 at 4:55 PM  


NS! I could have choked her had she been near!


I LOVE my GPS, my husband's leary of "technology." He curses it all the time!

Yes you Y chromosome types do have your strengths!

Babes Mami September 3, 2010 at 4:58 PM  

Sounds like a true blonde to me! Which I can say because I'm a blonde.

mypixieblog September 3, 2010 at 7:12 PM  

Well, now you know what to get her for Christmas: a GPS :) I could never live without mine (then again, I was born with the WORST sense of direction ever). I'm glad she's safe and sound!

The Sisters' Hood September 3, 2010 at 7:25 PM  

Can't wait to read all about you this evening - glass of wine in hand, better than magazines!
Followed you from the hop!

Christy September 3, 2010 at 8:27 PM  

I'm so glad my daughter has a head for north south east and west.

W.C.Camp September 3, 2010 at 9:15 PM  

I'm just glad she's safe. Wow once she graduates, your whole family can the BIKER FAMILY ROBINSION! W.C.C.

Classic NYer September 3, 2010 at 10:36 PM  

Blonde by association? ::ducks::

Indi September 4, 2010 at 12:41 AM  

BD ~ At least no one was hurt. Bloody hilarious all the same...



Unknown September 4, 2010 at 4:21 AM  

That is so funny "If she wasn't black I'd swear she was a blonde." At least she got to her class on time.

Debbie September 4, 2010 at 5:42 AM  

sadly I relate! I get lost when I have mapquest and GPS and I always blame my GPS! I think it tricks me on purpose..:)!!!

Cheeseboy September 4, 2010 at 4:06 PM  

I am glad she was safe. It may forever remain a mystery - what actually happened.

Jen September 4, 2010 at 6:53 PM  

It drives me insane when people don't answer direct questions, too. If it's not my daughter, I'll hang up and let them figure it out themselves. With daughters, we have to take a deep breath and try not to explode.

Andrea September 4, 2010 at 7:43 PM  

That pineapple comment has me chuckling. ;) She's beautiful, even if she isn't blonde. The story does have me laughing. Sorry you had such a scare, tho!

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