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I Don't Think So

Monday, October 25, 2010

Well I made it through the night, but I did it again. In my sleepless state I decided to watch a "true crime" show instead of one of the endless infomercials cluttering late night Direct TV. The show told the story of a woman that was brutally killed during a home invasion.

While I was blow drying my hair this morning that show kept replaying in my mind. We've lived in our home for 12 years and have never locked the front door except at night. It's unlocked all day, whether we're home or not.

My kids were all at school or work, my husband was gone and I was home alone. I heard a noise at the closed, but not locked, bedroom door. My heart stopped. I knew that was it. I was about to die.

I turned off the dryer, put on my robe (I wasn't going to be killed totally naked), grabbed my gun and slowly opened the door.

There was a crouched black figure there. I screamed and aimed. I almost shot my standard poodle. She was at the door tapping to get in. I caught my breath, grabbed her by the collar and went to lock the front door.

I went back to the room with my dogs and my gun. I locked the bedroom door. Then I took my dogs and my gun into the bathroom and locked that door.

With my vicious yorkie and my scary poodle at my feet and my .38 on the bathroom counter I finished getting ready for the day.

And my brother wants me to watch Shutter Island? I don't think so.


Anonymous,  October 25, 2010 at 1:58 PM  

Haha, I can so see myself doing something like that.

The Bipolar Diva October 25, 2010 at 1:59 PM  

haha, she scared the hell out of me!

Gucci Mama October 25, 2010 at 2:10 PM  

I've done that kind of thing before. One time I nearly shot my own reflection in the mirror, actually. Perhaps I'll share the story this week. That was kind of a fail.

The Bipolar Diva October 25, 2010 at 2:13 PM  


I'm so glad I'm not alone. Write it, I want to hear the story!

Jennifer Perry October 25, 2010 at 2:30 PM  

Oh, Gucci Mama, we are all waiting! Miz Diva, please be careful, we need you and the poodle both.

Christy October 25, 2010 at 2:32 PM  

This is why I should not have a gun handy. I think I would be the person to shoot first and ask questions later.

Mrs. Indecisive October 25, 2010 at 2:41 PM  

oh yeesh. Good thing you didn't kill your poodle! LOL

Waning Woman October 25, 2010 at 2:46 PM  

This really made me laugh and I needed that today

Empty Nester October 25, 2010 at 2:53 PM  

I know exactly where you're coming from! My girls and Hubs are always telling me I watch too many of those shows, but I am prepared because of them..and maybe a bit paranoid! LOL

Copyboy October 25, 2010 at 2:54 PM  

If i had a gun I'd probably shoot at stuff like accident of course. I know what you mean though, those true crime shows really get to me.

Allyson & Jere October 25, 2010 at 2:58 PM  

Yeah, my house is locked up like fort knox all the time now. I grew up with the door always being open, but times have changed. Plus, i lived with my sis in law for a year and she is OBSESSED with doors being locked, and not getting raped and murdered. So, it rubbed off on me. At least you've got the gun. I think you'll be ok. hahaha

The Bipolar Diva October 25, 2010 at 3:04 PM  

JP~ Yes, I need my poodle!

Christy, I need your bat!

Jen, I know, lol..

Waning~ I'm laughing at the whole thing now. I'm even home alone and only have my yorkie with me.

EmptyNester~ I think I watch too many as well!

Copyboy~ The can scare the hack out of me!

Allyson, I;m going to have to have keys made for most of us I think. My husband and a daughter that no longer lives here are the only ones with keys.

Unknown October 25, 2010 at 3:11 PM  

Those shows always get to me but I can't stop watching them. I would have reacted the same way

JoJo October 25, 2010 at 3:23 PM  

This made me realize how much I need a gun.

The Blogger Formerly Known As October 25, 2010 at 3:28 PM  

Thank goodness you didn’t have any legitimate visitors at the time. Maybe you should start listening to music instead of watching films and television?
The enigmatic, masked blogger

Monkey Man October 25, 2010 at 3:30 PM  

They let you have a gun!?! That is scarier than the movie you watched.

The Bipolar Diva October 25, 2010 at 3:34 PM  

Oh yes Monkey Man, we've all got them here. Not to worry, I've only destroyed targets, cans and wasps. lol

Brenda Susan October 25, 2010 at 4:09 PM  

Please tell us you will hide the gun from yourself on Halloween night ok?

Unknown October 25, 2010 at 4:42 PM  

Gotta love those sleepless nights, where nothing you do can make you crash! I like to watch I Survived, only it tends to make me a bit jumpy and nervous also.

Dazee Dreamer October 25, 2010 at 5:06 PM  

God girl, you need to stop watching the scary movies. I have the new paranormal states from last night recorded, but I have to watch them while it's light outside. I'm afraid I would be like you.

Anonymous,  October 25, 2010 at 5:42 PM  

We could totally be sisters!!! I have a .38 also. (Among several others!) I once almost blew my husbands brains out when he climbed our terrace to 'surprise' me in the dark of night....

I also have a fear of dying nude...

Shutter Island really wasn't should watch it!

Unknown October 25, 2010 at 6:28 PM  

I knew this old lady whose self defense technique was to keep an iron by her bed. She figured she could plug it in when she heard a noise and iron the burglar to death. I just loved Cora.

Snowbrush October 25, 2010 at 6:32 PM  

I guess it's hard to keep doors locked with so many coming and going, but maybe you should try. I not only keep mine locked; I NEVER open it to anyone whom I (a) don't recognize or (2) am not expecting.

Paige October 25, 2010 at 7:10 PM  

oh god those shows scare the living shit out of me!

A 2 Z October 25, 2010 at 7:18 PM  


It just shows how sleep is important for us women! LOL When I'm PMS'ing I'm a pack of nerves. I cant sleep and I'm jumpy all day. But then, last week there was a home invasion a few streets away. First one ever in these parts. One never knows! Thanks for stopping by today!


Cheeseboy October 25, 2010 at 8:42 PM  

Note to self: Never, ever sneak up on the Diva. Or wear a poodle costume.

Holly October 25, 2010 at 10:25 PM  

Poor puppy!! You're lucky she didn't pee your floor! LOL!
I can totally envision this whole event playing out! HAH!!

Rob-bear October 25, 2010 at 10:50 PM  

Shooting an elegant animal such as a poodle is such utterly "bad form." Especially when said poodle merely wants to get in, and lavish her attention on you.

Her Ladyship, Miss Sadie, my standard poodle, agrees entirely with my assessment! And beware, she's a killer dog! (If given the chance, she will knock you down and lick you to death; you have been warned!)

Me October 26, 2010 at 5:06 AM  

That beats the heck out of my plan to kick them in the sensitive bits and run.

Classic NYer October 26, 2010 at 7:07 AM  

We've lived in our home for 12 years and have never locked the front door except at night. It's unlocked all day, whether we're home or not.

Wow... just wow... we so don't do it that way in New York...

The Bipolar Diva October 26, 2010 at 9:53 AM  

Cheeseboy: NO poodle costumes!

Holly; looking back I was such a wuss!

Laraine: I'm getting an iron!

Rob; Have to protect the Standards!

Beth; that would work too!

Classic, I know, I really need to lock the doors, but first I need to get keys!

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