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You Guessed it. Mary Again.

Thursday, November 11, 2010

You've all been asking for it and here it is! Part four in the saga of Mary. If you need to catch up read these first. 

Part One

Part Two

Part Three

After the discovery of the battery operated entertainment devices, I’d had it for the day. Before we left I soaked the adult play things in bleach, put on gloves and replaced the batteries. I took them back to the bedroom, emptied the drawers of the bedside tables onto the floor and placed one plastic cylinder in a drawer on each side of the bed.

Every one was famished after all we experienced that day. Jeff went around closing windows and locking doors while I wondered who in the hell was going to break in. We packed into the car, leaving the mess behind for the night. Our next mission was to seek out food.

There happened to be a little burger joint around the corner. Everyone jumped out of the SUV. The kids ran in to grab a table. As they rushed off I thought I smelled that house. I couldn’t have, my brain needed to re-set and I’d be fine.

Through the windows of the burger shack I saw the kids pushing each other. After the day, everyone was edgy and I’m sure they wanted some space.

I pushed open the heavy glass door and heard the screech of my youngest, “Get AWAY from me! You STINK!” Oh tell me it wasn’t so. Tell me the stench of the house hadn’t entrenched itself on us. I hesitantly sniffed my shirt.

My stomach rose to my mouth. I could feel the saliva rushing forth. I jetted from the establishment and gulped in the fresh, clean air.  I refused to eat or drink anything in, or near, Mary’s house so I knew I would only dry heave. I couldn’t do that in front of the bulging eyes and gaping mouths of the people that were staring in amazement at my actions.

Some how I pulled myself together and went back in. I ordered each child into the car. There was no way any of us would put a bite of food into our mouths until we were showered and wearing clean clothes.

My construction working husband tried to call us back.

“Teri, come on! It’s just a little smell. I’m hungry, the kids are hungry and you need to eat.”

“Jeff there is no way on God’s green Earth I’m allowing my kids to sit there and eat while smelling that shit! And who in the hell knows what’s on their hands or what can fall off of them and into their food?”

“Teri, you Purell-ed them to death before we left.”

“Jeff you can leave with us, or stay here, but I’m taking the kids home!”

He relented. We drove home with the windows open and the air on full force.

Once home everyone showered and changed clothes. I Purell-ed them again before they ate. All the clothes were dumped into a bleach filled washer.

We went to bed early that night in preparation for the next fun-filled day at Mary’s.

When we drove up the gravel driveway the next morning the kids were chomping at the bit to get out and into the house.

“You kids are deranged,” I said.

“No mom, we can’t wait to see what we’re going to find today!”

I was beginning to think I was the only sane person in the family. Jeff threw them the keys. They raced up the deck and into the house. Each of them screaming, “I’m first!”

Jeff and I stayed back and surveyed the yard. That was another project we were going to have to tackle.

The kids were alone in the house for just a few when minutes when again we heard, “Mom, Dad! Look what we found!”

Jeff and I started up the hill. We were met by three gun toting kids.

It was Jeff’s turn to get freaked out.


“But Dad...”


The kids obeyed. They carefully placed the weapons on the gravel in front on them. Jeff snatched up the firearms. All were loaded. One was a pellet gun, not so bad. Next there was a 12 gauge shot gun, and the last was a .45.

I remembered seeing Mary’s concealed weapons permits but how in the heck would a little old lady be able to hold up a .45, not to mention conceal it?

“Where did your find these?”

“They were all in her bed Dad.”

“Her BED?”

“Yes Sir, the hand gun was under the pillow and the others were under the blankets.”

My mouth fell open. I was going to use one of those guns and club each kid to death. Their bodies would never be found in the overgrown, junk filled yard.

“You TOUCHED her sheets WITHOUT gloves?”

Jeff spared them from answering me by telling us we needed to get to work.

I decided it would be best to keep the kids with me in the living room. After Jeff secured the guns he went back to the bathroom. He had resolved to conquer the filth.

The kids and I worked filling black garbage bag after black garbage bag with trash, rancid kitty litter and what seemed like hundreds of food containers. After we cleared enough of the room to be able to walk around and not trip, I asked two of the kids to uncover the couch and clean it.

I went to the front of the room and started filling boxes with collectibles from the curio cabinets. Our friends were going to sell them so Mary could have some cash. I had just finished taping the third box shut when, you guessed it, the kids screamed again.

I kept my back to them and dropped my head. I raised one hand to my face, breathed in deeply and rubbed my forehead. I was attempting to prepare myself for whatever horror awaited me.

Slowly I turned and opened my eyes. The kids had removed the garbage from the couch and pulled up the cushions. There were thousands of white plastic spoons and forks  covering the couch’s carcass.

Out of everything I’d seen, that made no sense to me. Garbage was everywhere, food containers were everywhere, heck there was food everywhere. Why in the world would she stuff the plastic-ware under the cushions for years while throwing everything else on the floor?

While contemplating her rationale another kid called my name. This was going to be an eventful day I had a feeling.

“Mom, you need to look at this, and please bring me some gloves.”

A kid asking for gloves? Oh I couldn’t wait to see this.

The teenager was in the unfinished, bare-studded hallway. Wedged between the blackened 2x4's were dozens and dozens of dirty panties, bras and socks.

Nothing more was going to surprise me. I was ready. I’d seen it all. I could make it through anything now.

“Uh, Teri,” Jeff’s voice drifted into the hallway, “what did Mary do with Chuck after he died?”

“She had him cremated. Why?”

Jeff emerged from the bathroom holding a large pickle jar filled with ash.

“I think I found him.”

to be continued...


Dazee Dreamer November 11, 2010 at 4:56 PM  

All I can say is, Oh My God.


Unknown November 11, 2010 at 4:57 PM  

Oh you are sooooooo mean to do this to us.

Twat happens next!?!

MissCrystal November 11, 2010 at 5:02 PM  

OMG!!! This is a page turner!
I was seriously holding my breath waiting to read what happened next!!

Donda November 11, 2010 at 5:12 PM  

OMG OMG OMG He found Chuck in the linen closet. This is a twisted tale.

Monkey Man November 11, 2010 at 5:17 PM  

What a horrible sickness. It is like a train wreck....I have to look. I know that "death" smell. It just permiates.

Christy November 11, 2010 at 5:50 PM  

Is there something wrong with me if I'm laughing? Poor Chuck.

Unknown November 11, 2010 at 6:30 PM  


A pickle jar?

Are you fucking kidding me!?


Cheeseboy November 11, 2010 at 8:19 PM  

Okay, not sure where I've been, but I had to go back and read the others because I had no idea about this story. But I am glad I did because this is intriguing stuff.

Miley November 11, 2010 at 9:03 PM  

holy shit.
That's all I got. All I can say. holy. shit.

Rob-bear November 11, 2010 at 10:37 PM  

Well, at least you're finding the adventure exciting. (OK: maybe it should be "mis-adventure" and "interesting." Or . . .)

You telling of the tale, however, is marvellous.

Pat November 12, 2010 at 7:25 AM  

At this point I'm wondering if it wouldn't have been easier just to torch the place and collect the insurance, but this DOES make for a fascinating read!

Arawynn Eveningstar November 12, 2010 at 11:13 PM  

W.O.W. I have the sudden urge to purge my house and purell myself right now just from reading this. Ewwww. You are a brave woman.

MarkD60 November 13, 2010 at 5:26 AM  

My first thought was torch the place. I still say torch the place.

Mrs. Indecisive November 14, 2010 at 5:14 PM  

This is by far some of my favorite things to read on a blog. How DID you survive???

Gypsea Nurse November 15, 2010 at 8:44 AM  

OMG!! I am laughing and crying and peeing my pants at the same time.. the Purell just kills me.. I am such a germ phob it's unreal... Except I use Hibicleanse.... it's CIDAL!! Maybe I shouldn't have told you that... girl.. you need to write a book!

Claudya Martinez November 16, 2010 at 1:07 PM  

This woman is not well. What the hell is going on inside her head that makes her do this to her surroundings?

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