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You Know You Want To Read Part Three

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Before reading this post you'll have to read this one first, then this one so you won't be lost and miss out on any of the saga. You won't be sorry. I promise you it's worth the read.

Several days had passed and I was doing my best to erase the all too vivid memory of what I’d been witness to in the hospital.  Thankfully my phone rang and jolted me from the scary scene that was continually playing in my mind. 

“Mrs. Worley?”


“This is the Providence Hospital. I'm calling about Mary. She gave us your phone number as a contact. Last night she tripped in her home. Her hip is broken. She’ll require surgery and will be in the hospital for nearly a week. After that she’ll be placed in a re-hab center for at least eight weeks.”

I know that I’m going to sound like a cold hearted bitch here. While it was tragic for Mary that she was seriously injured, the timing couldn’t have been better for the project we faced. Those nine weeks would allow us the much needed time to not only to get the house cleaned, but the remodel completely finished.

I called Jeff and informed him of the situation. We began cleaning that weekend. It was going to be a challenge sorting through years of papers, mementos and trash. We needed to attempt to discern what was important and what could be thrown out. The thought of it was overwhelming to me.

That first day we had a dumpster delivered. We hauled in an arsenal of cleaning supplies and stocked up on boxes and tape. Since I flat out refused to clean the bathroom, Jeff and one of our daughters took that on as their first task. I started in the living room while a couple of other kids tackled the master bedroom.

In the midst of all the papers I found Mary’s baby book. It was heart wrenching. She had been an only child. She was cherished by parents that had tried for years to have a baby. Her tiny hand prints were lovingly traced month by month, then year by year. There were locks of strawberry blond curls and faded, old photographs. It seemed as if her mother had documented not only every milestone, but also each of her emotions of having a child at long last. Her handwriting was beautiful and breathed life into Mary's childhood.

After I finished taking in the beautiful memories I placed the book in the box I had marked “special.” I leafed through more papers and I uncovered her college year books. She had a degree in music and had been deeply involved in many activities during her years in school.

There were albums that contained carefully arranged photographs of her wedding. Another album was filled with handwritten notes. The first ones I read told of her courtship with Chuck. There were others in which she documented every last detail of their wedding, from the excitement of a young bride to exactly what she had been wearing, down to her lingerie. She had been an attractive young woman and her husband was quite a catch.

There were pictures of vacations and holidays. There were cards and letters. Bit by bit Mary’s past emerged for me to witness. I found her concealed weapons permits, both current and dating back decades. I found Chuck’s cremation papers and announcements of his death. There was a prescription bottle of Morphine for Chuck dated 1988. I began to feel a deep sorrow for what she had lost and for the way she was living her last years on this Earth. She was alone in the world. Complete strangers were going through her life, and what was left of it.

A blood curdling scream jolted me from my thoughts. The initial scream was followed by more screaming. I jumped up and ran to the bedroom hurdling piles in the process. Two of my kids were on their tip toes, jumping around a partially cleared section of the room. They continued screaming while staring and pointing at the floor.

“What in the hell are you two screaming at?”

“Mom, there’s a nest of dead baby rats and a huge dead mama rat!”

“Jeff! Get in here now! Bring gloves and a plastic bag!” I kept yelling for him, I sure as heck wasn’t going to touch the things myself.

Jeff slowly appeared in the doorway of the room. Once again he was doubled over in laughter. He had removed his glasses and was wiping tears from his eyes.

“This isn’t freaking funny!” I was about to puke all over the place, two kids were screaming and he was laughing his ass off.

“You guys are a bunch of sissies,” he was finally able to choke out.

Jeff dutifully scooped up the rodent remains chuckling the entire time. After the excitement died down I talked him into helping me take some garbage out to the dumpster. I needed fresh air and a break from the mixed emotions of the day.

We weren’t out there five minutes when we heard hysterical laughter emanating from the open bedroom window.

“Mom, Dad, you’re not going to believe what we found!”

The kids came running out of the front of the house and bolted down to the dumpster. They both had something in their hands. I could tell the items were long, slender and beige. The kids were laughing while holding the items by their fingertips.

“Look Mom, LOOK!”

That was when a light went off. Long. Slender. Beige. And there were cases of batteries everywhere.


My mind’s eye flashed back to that day in the hospital where everything God had given Mary was exposed for the world to see. My kids had found, and were holding in their hands, the sex toys of an elderly woman.

to be continued...


Brenda Susan November 10, 2010 at 3:27 PM  

Ok, well.......that was a wonderful thing to read right after lunch today! Thank you so much!

Donda November 10, 2010 at 3:53 PM  

WOW! That's all I got. But I am still fascinated.

SherilinR November 10, 2010 at 4:01 PM  

hahahaha! makes me think of the horrible time my kid was taking a bath at one of my friends' houses & i caught my 3 yr old blowing up my friend's douche bag like a balloon. who even has those things anymore!

Christy November 10, 2010 at 4:06 PM  

I'm such a farm girl that nothing really would shock me, but I think the long beige "tools" might have done me in.....with laughter.

Unknown November 10, 2010 at 4:08 PM  

You leave us hanging with a gross twat and sex toys!
This is not fair!

Furry Bottoms November 10, 2010 at 4:50 PM  

hehehehe I wonder if it has even been CLEANED?

You are a strong strong woman, my friend. This is all terribly sad, yes, but wow.

Liz Mays November 10, 2010 at 4:56 PM  

That's both humorous and terribly sad!

Monkey Man November 10, 2010 at 5:10 PM  

The second I saw the photo of the batteries, I knew where this was headed. Quite the saga.

Pat November 10, 2010 at 5:44 PM  

No wonder she was so crabby! She couldn't find her vibrators!

JoJo November 10, 2010 at 5:48 PM  

O.M.G I was so not expecting that!

Ladii November 10, 2010 at 5:54 PM  

Lol eww Gross I am grossed out ut then Again i will be that old Woman with the toys lol

@sherilin My son got a hold of my sisters Douche and im not sure if it was used but i screamed at the mr. Take it away and he did and he grabs it byt the part that inserts into the Vag and im like NO!!!! he goes what Im like That goes in My Sisters Twat OMG he almost Puked

Anonymous,  November 10, 2010 at 7:05 PM  

Oh Lord, there is more! Haha, this shit is hilarious!

Babes Mami November 10, 2010 at 7:49 PM  

Sex toys know no age! I am more curious if she ever washed them, I'm assuming no.

Copyboy November 10, 2010 at 8:20 PM  

Dumpster diving can unearth the strangest of things. Mary's book? Wow! Emotional for sure. And then some.

Claudya Martinez November 10, 2010 at 9:38 PM  

I hope they were cleaner than their surroundings! Yuck!!!

Rob-bear November 10, 2010 at 10:12 PM  

This is turning into quite the story, Teri. Sad, fascinating, funny, a bit absurd. But I think mostly sad, for Mary and for you.

Hart Johnson November 11, 2010 at 7:53 AM  

You've definitely got a page-turner here! Holy cow, what a sad turn her life took.

Dutchess November 11, 2010 at 10:59 AM  

OMG! You just had to end it there, huh? I can't decide if I'm horrified, disgusted, or if I should laugh. Maybe all of the above. Can't wait for the next part.

Unknown November 11, 2010 at 12:50 PM  

I started to throw up in my mouth at the mention of the dead rats. The vibe threw me over the edge.

Me November 11, 2010 at 12:57 PM  

Oh dear.
But good for Mary.
Cases of batteries? Seems like the spoon wasn't the only thing hiding int he couch.

Candace June 7, 2011 at 7:17 PM  

wow!!!!!!!! ewwwwww!!! Sorry, a part of me is still all 8th grade about finding people's pleasure chests...especially when there was a whole family of dead rats in the same house. Goodness. you are a much better person then I!

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