Saturday, December 4, 2010
I'm going to tell you all a secret here: I really do have bipolar. Scandalous I know. Most of you sort of figured that out by the name of my blog. I just have a few comments to make.
My main reason in writing this blog is not to highlight my disorder. It's to have fun. I don't concentrate on writing about the disorder or my battle with it. I will bring it up when it's affecting my life.
I have many readers that are bipolar and I get tons of emails from those readers thanking me for being honest and transparent about my disorder. That's awesome for me to read. They say that in reading through some of my struggles they feel that they're not alone.
I tell it like it is. If for some reason you don't like a topic that I've written about, just click out. It's ok, come back when there's another topic.
Having bipolar means that there are lows, struggles and obstacles to overcome. I've made amazing progress since I was diagnosed.
This blog can be therapeutic for me and eye-opening for others. There's a terrible stigma attached to bipolar and hopefully I can change a little part of it. Usually I do really well. I have the same moods as other people, mine can just be more exaggerated. I'm not psychotic, I'm not delusional and I don't hallucinate. I'm a normal person.
I've always been very open about my life and I don't plan on changing now. It's just who I am.
Right now I'm in a low cycle, I'd change it if I could, but I can't. I have to ride it through.
My last post was about how I was feeling that night and I got a deluge of positive feedback, support, and thanks for posting it. If you happened to be offended by it, I offer my sincere apologies. Out of all of the messages I got, only one was somewhat negative.
Bipolar isn't a choice, it's genetic. I guess I drew the short straw on that one. It's not going away, the lows won't go away, the highs won't go away, the feelings won't stop and the guilt will remain. If it were a choice, I would have chosen differently.
I'm me guys, you can take me or leave me. But being open is the only way I know how to be. I say things sometimes that others only think. I'm not ashamed of having the disorder and I'm not ashamed of my openess. All of the emails with thanks about my last post only make my resolve stronger to shine a light on what can happen.
That's all I have for now.
Thanks so much for your support.