Sunday, February 28, 2010
When I saw her sitting in the garage drenched from the cold Oregon rain my heart felt heavy and I began to cry. Our 17 month relationship had been initiated through tragedy and was now ending for my self preservation. For awhile it was comforting being with her everyday and knowing how loved she had been and how loved she would be with me. She carried her beauty and sensuality like no other I had seen. She was sleek, sexy and mysterious. She had an air of aristocracy, well bred and cultivated through the generations for sophistication and class. She became my world and my attachment to a previous life that we had shared. We comforted each other in our time of loss. We would become one.
What I didn't count on were the trying times, the times I could not bear to lay eyes upon her. With no intention of her own, she brought me memories of a tragic time. Ones that I try to keep buried, only to let out flashes of remembrances if the time was right. As the months went by, it became more difficult to go anywhere with her, to touch her, or to sit wrapped in the luxuriance of her sand colored soft leather.
As hard as it was, it was the time to let go. The time had come for her to move on to another family that could love her untainted. She ran so well on to where we took her. It was as if she was trying one last time to get me to relent and allow her to stay. But it could not be. The burden had grown too large for me to handle. She must go and it must be now.
I sat there watching through the glass as the man gently dried her with a towel and removed every trace of moisture from her beautiful body. I had to tell her good bye one more time. I slowly opened the door that had separated us and once again soaked in her beauty. With each step my breath became more labored. I kept slowly moving forward until I touched the cold, hard aluminum of her deep pacific blue rear fender and gently leaned down and kissed her. I rubbed her top and kissed her once again on her head. She is on a new journey now, as am I. I turned to leave before I lost the courage to do so. With tears streaming down my face and my nose beginning to drip I reached into my pocket to get a tissue to muffle my sobs and I walked out the door without looking back..