Saturday, January 22, 2011
Diva? Bipolar? Bipolar? Diva? What the hell? I did a post on the similarities of the two parts of my personality a while ago, but yesterday I had to try to explain it to my psychiatrist. That was a challenge. You should have seen her face. It was priceless. Her expression left me scrambling for words, but being invincible I think I succeeded.
Invincible, that word came up a time or two. You see if you're one of the lucky ones to have the URL for my other blog you know everything, but on this one I have to be a little more careful so I'll try to explain what happened yesterday while being a bit vague. I'll explain in much more detail on the other site tonight. By the way if you want that URL, and meet my crazy criteria, email me at email@example.com and I'll send you the top secret application. Well, not really I'll just make sure you can handle what you read and not judge me.
I must be manic, I keep getting off track, I just love mania and I love that I'm mostly manic, it makes me who I am and I think that's a good thing. Luckily my bipolar is very mild and I'm 99% on the happy, outgoing side. The other part has been almost totally controlled with the meds, so hey, I win. If I win, everyone wins.
Off track again. So I'm explaining to her this decision I've made. She asked me about the consequences and if I'd thought of them. I told her I had and they really didn't seem that bad to me. She gave me that look and I knew I was sunk.
"Teri, does that maybe sound like you think you're invincible?"
Oh shit! I was busted. Invincible, a huge bipolar symptom. I thought I was so over that, but she made sense. I'm stubborn, and I guess I was feeling invincible. I tried to justify my decision, didn't work. She won. I would say I lost, but I really didn't. It was a win-win situation. She rocks.
And anyway, being invincible isn't so bad. I take on challenges, I have fun and isn't invincibility a super power? Ha, I win.