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Just The Random Shit Please

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

I'm sitting on a plane on my way to Texas to see my newest niece and I can't wait! I also get to see the rest of the family and of course The Brat!

I only have random thoughts running through my mind at the moment so you, should you decide to continue reading this shit, shall be victim to my randomness. I'll save the best and most shocking item for the end. So If I were you I'd keep reading.

  • First off I really, really have to pee. Normally that wouldn't be a problem but at the moment I am, as I said, stuck on an airplane, in the window seat, by some rather large people. hmph.
  • I think that if a kid is old enough to put it's own diaper on then it's old enough to be potty trained...just sayin'. Heard that one in Target yesterday. "Put your diaper on. Good job. Now fasten the tabs. Good job." Bad parent, lazy parent, either that or a fucking brilliant infant. 
  • Why do some people seem to be compelled to give me advice that I didn't ask for? I mean, isn't that a parent's job? I don't have parents so if I want your advice I will ask for it. Now that brings me to the topic to me being a parent. Kids, remember that it's my job, since I'm your mom and all, to give you advice. Suck it up and listen because you really might learn something.
  • I've lost so much weight that none of my rings fit any longer, but that's not why I took one set off. Think on that one a while. 
  • Did I mention that I really have to pee? This is going to be a long flight. 
  • I love wearing my black nail polish. I think it fits me.
  • I LOVE my Glock!
And last, but certainly not least, what you've been reading through this shit to get to:
  • It's been almost three years since I was diagnosed with bipolar and my new psychiatrist asked me yesterday if I was comfortable with my diagnosis. WTF? Isn't that her job? She went on to say that it may only be post traumatic stress disorder, or a very mild form of bipolar and that mild bipolar is difficult to diagnose.  Well I already knew it was a mild form of bipolar. What in the hell will I do if it turns out not to be bipolar? Does that mean I lose all of my creativity? Does that mean that I won't be as outgoing? Does that mean that I'll no longer be addicted to shoes? Does that mean that I won't be me? And what about my blog title? The way I see it "The Post Traumatic Stress Disorder Diva" just doesn't have the same ring to it. I kind of like my header picture with the diamonds spilling from the pill bottle too. For the record, I freaking love my new psychiatrist, she just threw me for a loop with that one.
Ok, enough random shit. Should any of you feel compelled to give me advice feel free to do so, as long as it doesn't have to do with my choice of language. I wasn't writing about any of you anyway.

Until next time,

WAIT! I almost forgot! I want you all to go look at two things. My grandson has a blog called "House Of Monkies." My friend Dee made him his page! She's awesome with that sort of stuff. So go check them  out, and follow them if ya want! I know Dee would love you to follow her, she so rocks. If you want a page made talk to her. Little Jakob can use the encouragement of new followers with all he's been through.

Love you all!


Storyteller February 22, 2011 at 3:18 PM  

um, hello, remember me? the one who sent u 2 funnies and a request for answers to wtf???!!!

The Bipolar Diva February 22, 2011 at 3:24 PM  

Oh yes, Ms Prayer, I remember you well. What I don't remember is the messages? I'm lost in a haze of crap. Send them again........Love you.

Red Brick February 22, 2011 at 3:52 PM  

Love your Glock huh? Ya know some time on the range peeling off a couple of hundred rounds is a great stress relief. Probably better than sex. Try going fully auto and get a wiff of burnt carbon, hope your flight went well.

Dee February 22, 2011 at 3:55 PM  

Lol thanks girl! I really appreciate the shout out! I hope you made it to a bathroom in time! :0P

The Bipolar Diva February 22, 2011 at 3:55 PM  

Thank you Red Brick! We haven't made it yet, but it's going well. Oh yes, I love my's my newest baby.

The Bipolar Diva February 22, 2011 at 4:00 PM  

Still in the air Dee, still in the air. We should land in about a half hour, I hope!

Dazee Dreamer February 22, 2011 at 4:03 PM  

I kind of enjoyed the post traumatic mild bipolar. I kid, I kid.

I wish I could give you some of my weight. But alas. It loves me too much.

have fun. what am I saying. I know you will.

Raven February 22, 2011 at 4:26 PM  

My favorite is when I share something with my therapist and she says "Well, what do you think about that?" If I freaking know what I thought about it I wouldn't be here spilling my guts to you now, would I?

I have to pee too, but my problem is sheer laziness. I just don't want to get up to pee.

tattytiara February 22, 2011 at 4:26 PM  

I've always felt the absolute cut off for diapering is ideally at the age when there's a chance the kid might remember wearing diapers. I have no memories of being allowed to go to the bathroom in my pants, and I'm very glad not to have them.

glenparks February 22, 2011 at 7:05 PM  

Too funny Diva...... LMAO!

glenparks February 22, 2011 at 7:06 PM  

Too funny Diva!!! LMAO! You ROCK Girl!

tammie February 22, 2011 at 7:49 PM  

Love your blog but do you really have to do the glock nail polish? LOL
I think that "The Post Traumatic Mild Bipolar Chick" would be a great name for a blog!

tammie February 22, 2011 at 7:52 PM  

I forgot to check the "follow up comments button". So here I go!

Monkey Man February 22, 2011 at 8:06 PM  

Have a great trip and...whoops...gotta go. reading this made me wanna pee.

Furry Bottoms February 22, 2011 at 8:15 PM  

did you leave him? is that why the rings are gone? Aw hell.

By the way, one psychiatrist diagnosed me with multiple personality disorder when I was 18. Think on that one! Actually it was all an insurance scam at the time. Then another diagnosed me with a specific trait of bipolar. And PSTD. Borderline is the only one that feels like it fits. Oh wait, maybe the first psychiatrist was correct and I do have MPD... because all these other drs have different ideas of what I have, catch my drift? Hmm, food for thought.

Your new niece!!! Aw, let us know how that visit goes! :)

Miss Sadie February 22, 2011 at 10:34 PM  

You psychiatrist can change the label if she wants, but you can accept whatever you want. Meaning you can act however you want.

And I've heard that sanity is way over-rated.

Just some random responses.

The Bipolar Diva February 23, 2011 at 12:29 AM  

Tammie, thank you so much! I have black nail polish, but I love my Glock hand gun!

MarkD60 February 23, 2011 at 4:11 AM  

Well, I hope you've peed by now, and I hope you didn't get busted trying to get your Glock on the plane! Although, if you did have a Glock on a plane, I wouldn't care.

Red Brick February 23, 2011 at 2:48 PM  

Hope your trip went well and that you are in a place that makes you happy. Have a drink! Run naked through the lobby, Try something new to eat. Buy a rose, see a movie but be yourself.

Cheeseboy February 23, 2011 at 4:17 PM  

I am really concerned about your bladder. Please tell me you made it without incident.

Random is often the most interesting.

Classic NYer February 23, 2011 at 6:47 PM  

What in the hell will I do if it turns out not to be bipolar? Does that mean I lose all of my creativity? Does that mean that I won't be as outgoing? Does that mean that I'll no longer be addicted to shoes? Does that mean that I won't be me?

You know, I felt exactly the opposite way when my brother was diagnosed with asperger's. I felt like he's just a quirky, kind of geeky, so-uncool-that-he's-cool-like-that kind of guy and that his personality didn't need a medical excuse.

So in other words, no, you don't lose your extroversion and creativity if you lose your "bipolar" title... but it does mean that you'll have to rename your blog.

Fuck around, that's why i don't leave NYC: I'd have to change my blog title. That, and because I happen to already live in the greatest city on the planet.

Gledwood February 23, 2011 at 9:48 PM  

Well your psychiatrist sounds an interesting gal. I thought for years I "might have mild bipolar" and self-medicated away, not daring to tell any medical professional until after an event involving a prescribed antidepressant and a huge mood swing UP and a greater one DOWN all the while on this antidepressant therapy... all of which magically resolved itself after that lovely mirtazapine (remeron) was dropped... And to cut a long story short I jacked in the self-medication late last year and have been markedly UP or down pretty constantly for 12 weeks straight.

It got so intense I didn't know what was going on around me let alone what year it was (being on fast-forward, I thought we were in next year)... so I'm on antipsychotics.

Tomorrow I have an appointment with Dr Headshrinker where I ask what's supposed to be wrong with me. If he can't diagnose I'm pressing for an "it looks like". I might not even get one of those: this guy is Cautious City. i just think it would be nice to have a word with which to slam all those people/officials/organizations who seem to insist upon a Diagnosis when I coasted along quite pleasantly (und unpleasantly) without anything more exciting than "depression" for years before...

... I mean, if I don't slam with a word I might do it physically. And then I'll end up arrested and sectioned which is involuntary commitment.... probably still WITHOUT A DIAGNOSIS....

.... ukkkkkk. wish me luck for later on, please it's been 15 years of symptoms and no name!

ps this was the original point of my comment: you're far better off having got that diagnosis when you still were "mild" and nipping the thing chemically in the bud with medication rather than letting it thrive and prosper and potentially turn into a real monster. I'm far from the worst case of whatever I've got, I'm quite sure. But "mild" no longer fits me or my mysterious illness. Take it from someone who no longer qualifies for that adjective, "mild" is a lovely place to be!

And I hope you did find good access to a lavatory on that plane. I hate being hemmed in too. Reason I go by train whenever possible. Far more legroom and greater seat-changing possibilities! I'm in Europe by the way


Holly February 24, 2011 at 10:57 AM  

OK... first of all, what's with you skinny people thinking you should get elbow room??? Where's my fat supposed to spill over??? JK!!! Please don't pull your glock on me!! (Kinda' wish I had one of those... Hmmm...) Well... you're welcome to some of my hangover... I mean... EXCESS... *sigh*

Speculating on the rings bit... would that be 2 from one finger? I hope you're doing ok... (((HUGS)))

Have fun with family in TX!!

I'll be gone for the next 10-12 days without internet for the most part... I'm sure I'll have a LOT to catch up on here when I return!

Jakob's new design is AWESOME!! Following Dee, too, now. ;D

Psychiatrists and differing opinions... *sigh* Yeah... they're EVERYWHERE... I had one Dr tell me I couldn't be because I don't randomly call people in the middle of the night without a 2nd thought?? Go BACK to SCHOOL, BUDDY!! Anyway.. they talk to you for a bit... who knows what moods or facades are prevalent at the time... and throw out randomness... (Had to use that... it's the post theme... Right?) The bipolar spectrum has a WIDE range... So do we get to CHOOSE our imbalance or is it just that they CHOOSE to call it different things... Most of the meds are the same, anyway... LOL! Maybe she wants you to "LIKE" your diagnosis better?? Many of these mimic each other, too. In the different things I've been told... and my denial for the first long while... I decided to educate myself more on these CRAZY things... May of them fit in many ways... but KNOWING myself and looking at it HONESTLY... I did find that BP is what FIT most... "LIKE" it or not... Then comes acceptance and learning to fight your demons. Regardless of your adorable header and button... YOU approach it with a clear mind and read over AGAIN and see if it fits. Make a list of why it does or doesn't on each count... When you see her again, go over it with her and see what she thinks.


HeyHO! February 24, 2011 at 2:53 PM  

When I was a two, I would take my diaper to my mom to let her know that I needed to be changed. She was a smart cookie and thought that if I was doing that, I could damn well use the toilet. Pretty simple, I think.

Joelle Marie February 24, 2011 at 3:11 PM  

Heh. After TEN years and a few providers I went to a new psychiatrist who said "I'm not sure you have bipolar disorder..."

I looked at him and said "Oh, well that's interesting" and went back to the old guy.

[even though it's a distance and an inconvenience. stick with what's comfortable if it's workin', right?]

Sometimes... you just have to wonder if it pops into their head "Maybe I'M the ONE who has it right this time!"

...just have to wonder. heh.

Red Shoes February 24, 2011 at 9:30 PM  

LMAO @ "I love my glock."



Unknown February 25, 2011 at 12:25 AM  

Just dropping by to let you know I've restarted my blog and I hope you will follow me again!

e February 25, 2011 at 1:37 PM  

I hope you got to pee. I love that you love your glock!
Don't you just love psychiatrists. They go to school for how long and earn how much? To what? Ask you what you think of your diagnosis. My last one told me I got to chose with mood stab I wanted to be on. Um, hello, how the fuck am I supposed to know how they work and what would be best for me. Typical of our lazy ass society! No one wants to do anything anymore!
Good luck girl and have fun with your newest niece.

alphawoman February 25, 2011 at 2:14 PM  

This was very entertaining. I had a friend who is bipolar and he decided to stop taking the medication because he missed the highs. He was a manic depressive too. He was a very interesting guy.

Brenda Susan March 1, 2011 at 4:32 PM  

You are you in all the glorious you-ness of you!! Ha! How's that for some new agey talk? But really You are you no matter what label is affixed. And My me-ness likes your you-ness a lot!
Ok that last sentence really sounds bad!

Unknown March 1, 2011 at 10:50 PM  

Trying to deal with this horrendous cycle of being on the medication and getting off the medications is the biggest challenge that bipolar individuals and their families have to deal with on a daily basis.
lamictal withdrawal/
lamictal side effects

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