Monday, February 14, 2011
You know about me surfing, yea me!
You know about my lying in the sun.
And you know about me drinking too many daiquiris with rum floaters and falling on my ass.
What you don't know about yet is my trip to Chinatown.
Yes, my trip to Chinatown. What an experience, at least for a Diva. I didn't rent a car while I was in Hawaii so trying to figure out just how to get to Chinatown was a dilemma. It was too far to walk and the trolley was $30 for a day pass. The guy at the desk suggested the city bus.
That sounded like quite the adventure, I'd never been on a city bus before and for $2.50 round trip it sounded like a barn busting deal.
The first thing I noticed on the bus was a smell. I'm not sure if it was just the way the bus always smelled or if it was the smell of the guy that decided to put his crotch in my face.
See how close he was to my knee? He was totally invading my space bubble and my my nostril saving bubble. I have a feeling though that he was looking down my dress.
The next thing I noticed was the emergency exit.
It was on the ceiling of the bus and pretty damned small. As I looked around the I realized that not many of us would be able to get out of the bus through that emergency exit. First of all, none of us appeared to have the superpowers of Spiderman so I'm not sure how we would get up there. Next, most of the people near me would never be able to fit through the exit. So much for the intelligence of the emergency exit engineer. He was probably a skinny guy with gecko pads for fingers and toes.
Then I gasped at the sin of all sins. A fake Louis Vuitton!
There's another story attached to that fake Louis, but I'll save it for another time. I'll just say that someone showed their true colors and the showdown was on. Gucci came to my rescue and saved the day.
Finally we reached my stop. I was never so glad to get out of a vehicle in my life. On to Chinatown to check out the markets. I was hungry and was looking for two types of fruit, one was Mangosteen. Don't have a picture of that one since everyone was OUT of the damned things. Then the other fruit is one I haven't a clue as to what it's called but it looks like this:
If any of you know the name of the mysterious fruit let me know, it's my favorite fruit ever! I wonder if I can find it around Portland? I grabbed a bunch of them and began my trek through the markets.
The first thing I saw was pretty unappetizing and damn well creeped me out:
I'm not eating a frog and I'm certainly not taking a live one home to cook.
Next wasn't too creepy I just wondered what in the hell they used these things for:
I guess maybe soup or something. Then I went around the corner and the creep-out factor magnified exponentially. You're going to have to scroll down for this one.
At that point I was out of there. Back to the bus and to the restaurant at the hotel. The pig's head with blood dripping from his nose was a bit too much for me.