Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...
Powered by Blogger.

I'm Not Sure How It Started

Wednesday, March 9, 2011

That was a lie, I do know how it started. It started with a simple statement, "go clean your room before you play video games."

Sounds easy enough right? Well I guess it wasn't. Door closes and I hear guitar music.

"Hey kid, put down that guitar and clean your room."

"I wanted a break. I was tired."

"You were told to clean your room, not play your guitar."

It went downhill from there. Have you ever tried reasoning with an autistic soon to be 18 year old? It doesn't work and my temper flares, which in turn makes his temper flare.

This is a kid that scares me when things get heated. He's sent both of us to the hospital on more than one occasion. I have pepper spray and plastic restraints on advice of the deputies that have frequented my house during his outbursts.

I won't back down. Backing down only strengthens his resolve the next time.

Luckily his father was at the house and was able to diffuse the situation somewhat, but not before one of my kitchen cabinet doors was slammed so hard that it broke in half.


I left with the rest of the kids to celebrate my baby girl's 21st birthday, leaving them to sort things out.


I'm not usually in a situation that I'm not sure how to handle. This kid throws them at me all the time. He's put a huge wedge in our relationship. I don't want to be around him, I don't want to see him,  I don't want to deal with it. I'm angry, I'm hurt and I'm scared.

Does that make me a bad mom? No, it makes me realistic. 


21 comments:

Tricia March 9, 2011 at 11:54 AM  

That's scary, because I'm sure that if he has outburts he can be very physically hard to restrain as a full-grown young man. :(

Cat & Cricket March 9, 2011 at 12:10 PM  

Girl~ you are not a bad mom, and if you are..I am right beside you... I just had to take a mothers little helper before imploding on my son.. all over saying... " you will not speak to your mother like that!" and i get things thrown off counters.. doors broken..screaming etc... I have a short fuse, but I am undermined my his father..so we are living on a battleground as it is. I am ready to leave them here in Jersey with their father and move to Florida alone. I guess I am the bad mom.
Hugs~
Somehow it will work out.
C

Sey March 9, 2011 at 12:19 PM  

I would be scared if I were in your position. I have this phobia of people shouting and screaming and I am glad you were able to handle him at times.

jen March 9, 2011 at 12:41 PM  

This post explains your email even more. Sorry.
And hang in there. Just stay away from the hospital.

Candace March 9, 2011 at 12:54 PM  

being a parent is sooo hard. do you have a support system of parents in a similar situation? I studied special education and in researching children with conduct disorder one of the big things that helped parents was having a group or a person they could talk to. In the studies there was this specific program and training for both the child and parent, but I think that just having the support of others is better then nothing. I know a big part of it was helping the parents realize that this is not their fault and how to brave through the scary and tough times...though, honestly, it sounds like you would be great support for someone else as well! You are not a bad mom at all!!

Miss Sadie March 9, 2011 at 1:18 PM  

I would be terrified to be in the same house as a Human like that!

You're a better mom than I would be! Probably better than a lot of moms.

Classic NYer March 9, 2011 at 3:59 PM  

I agree with Sadie. I'm nobody's mom, but as a human I would take pains to stay away from such a person. It takes strength to put up with that... and balls to say it so honestly.

Monkey Man March 9, 2011 at 4:01 PM  

Not a bad mom, just a mom put in a bad situation. Anxious OCD 18 year old daughter must have one of us sit with her while she cleans her room and reviews every particle of dust singularly....okay, not really the dust but clothes, books, etc.

Katie March 9, 2011 at 4:03 PM  

I love the honesty here. It's what keeps me coming back.

Sorry you have to deal with this. Big hugs and a, "you're tougher than me" for sure!

Red Brick Film March 9, 2011 at 4:28 PM  

You're a great Mom. Kids can really rile us especially when we love them so much and when they have physical or mental disability to add on the need for extra love and sometimes even tough love. Its no easy road for us to travel its what we sign up for with parenthood. I feel for ya and will be pullin for ya.

Red Brick Film March 9, 2011 at 4:28 PM  

You're a great Mom. Kids can really rile us especially when we love them so much and when they have physical or mental disability to add on the need for extra love and sometimes even tough love. Its no easy road for us to travel its what we sign up for with parenthood. I feel for ya and will be pullin for ya.

Dazee Dreamer March 9, 2011 at 5:04 PM  

Wow. You have a lot on your plate. I would be terrified too. And I don't think it makes you a bad mother at all. Sometimes things just aren't cool with our kids.

Mad Mind March 9, 2011 at 5:55 PM  

Sometimes it takes removal of the people involved to diffuse a potentially serious situation.

Cheeseboy March 9, 2011 at 6:02 PM  

Oh man. My kid is only 9 and he already shows signs of this. I am so screwed.

MarkD60 March 9, 2011 at 6:08 PM  

I used to know all about relationships before I got married. I rekkon I still know all about kids since I never had any. Sounds to me like you handled it as well as can be expected.

Jamie March 9, 2011 at 6:32 PM  

Teri,
It makes you real.
Unfortunately you just cost yourself a seat at the PTA
*wink*

Stay true , stay honest. Stay Teri.

Cat & Cricket March 9, 2011 at 8:58 PM  

totally different topic.. screw the handmade.. I will send something that ROCKS! to lift your spirits!
C

Unknown Mami March 12, 2011 at 10:23 AM  

Sounds like a very difficult situation and relationship. I always love your honesty and candor.

Jessica Warrick March 16, 2011 at 7:27 PM  

i completely feel your pain. we have talked before about our sons and i fear the worst from my son as he gets older. praying that things get better is good for the soul but not realistic when it comes to an autistic child. i hope i have the strength to handle him in the coming years as you do.

Sapphire Dragonflies March 21, 2011 at 6:42 AM  

This post hit home with me. Especially:

He's put a huge wedge in our relationship. I don't want to be around him, I don't want to see him, I don't want to deal with it. I'm angry, I'm hurt and I'm scared.

I can't tell you how many times, as a mother to a bipolar son who is 6 ft/265 lbs. football player. I'm your newest follower.

Post a Comment

Related Posts with Thumbnails

All Rights Reserved

© 2010, 2011, 2012



All rights reserved. Content, both written and original photographs, may not be copied or used in any way without consent.















  © Blogger template On The Road by Ourblogtemplates.com 2009

Back to TOP