Monday, April 18, 2011
I'm not really sure where to start, what to say, what not to say or if I should even go forward here. But dammit it's my blog and I can do pretty much what ever the hell I want to on it. I say "pretty much" because there are kids that have access to this, friends, family, blah, blah, blah..... That's one reason I have another blog. It's more personal, more racy, it's the other side of me. If you want to be considered to be part of the elite group that has access to that part of my life email me and we'll talk.
This one I try to keep on the lighter, more family friendly side, although I will address the seriousness and the stigma of bipolar when the need arises.
But it's April and I've only written two posts. TWO! Those of you that know me know that means they, the powers that be, have been messing with my medications again and it hasn't been pretty. To make a long background story short, the docs thought I had leukemia or some other weird blood related shit because my white blood cell count kept dropping, plummeting actually. Found out it was most likely a medication I was on so I stopped it. Experimented with a shit load of other stuff. My blood count rose, but my emotional state declined.
That's about when I stopped writing and stopped being able to hold up, or repair, the crap that's been going on in my life. The depression was too enveloping and all sorts of bizarre things began happening. I won't go all into it here, but I'll say that I didn't really know which way was up and I had MAJOR, life changing decisions to make.
I've made those decisions and will have to live with them, good or bad, right or wrong. My life will change and hopefully it will be for the better.
It's funny that when things get bad, really bad, is usually when I do my best writing. I get all poetic and shit. I guess it's that bipolar/creative combo that does it. This time I could barely function, let alone write about Sea Turtles coaxing me to follow or Unorthodox remedies for my affliction. Go read those two, they'll give you insight on some of the feelings that go along with bipolar, or maybe with just life in general.
On the brighter side, I'm going back to school to finish a degree in Political Science. Which is being a major pain in the butt. I have to arrange classes around certain motorcycle events. A major event that I never want to miss happens the same week fall term begins. Guess what's going to win out.....you got it, the motorcycle.
I'm going to take some summer classes that I can arrange around my weekend trips and try to see what can be done about fall term.
Thanks guys for sticking by me during all this crap. I can't tell you how much that means to me.
Here's to the brighter side of life, changes and all!