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Friday, May 13, 2011

This afternoon has been a quiet one. I was the only one home besides my yorkie, Martini. I was trying to catch up on blogs, FB a little, but mostly enjoy the quiet that eludes my house most of the time.

Then I had the bright idea of searching I have a subscription to it in order to check out potential boyfriends/girlfriends of my kids, possible employees, and find out just where the sex offenders lurking in my neighborhood are. FYI, the sex offender search is free. You just type in your zip code.

Well, I happened to type in my son's name out of curiosity. Bingo. Hit. Busted.

Said son then walked into the house.

"Son, have you ever been arrested?"

"No Mom, why?"

"Well then someone with your birthday, name and description has, several times. Maybe it's not you. There's something funky about the description. 6'3", that fits, 190 lbs, that fits, brown hair, that fits. But under eyes it says none found."

"Well then, see Mom, it's not me. I still have my eyes."

"Not so fast Son. The address listed is MY address and the phone number listed is MY phone number."

Son laughs his nervous laugh and comes a little closer to inspect the records.

"Wow, Son there are records here from Clackamas County, Multnomah County, Portland Police and the Oregon State police."

"I swear Mom the only time I was arrested was when I ran away from home when I was 16 and they said my "magical" knife was a concealed weapon."

Oh how I remember the police officer calling me that day. He was laughing and apologetic at the same time. Seems Son was the ring leader of a group of kids that decided to run away. He bought a "knife" from a magic shop to "protect" them. The officer explained that it was an "artsy knife like" thing but it was over the length for a concealed weapon and he had no choice but to arrest my son. Just for the record I left Son sitting in the juvi cell for the longest period of time I could. I wanted him to imagine all sorts of torturous things I would do to him when I got my hands on him.

"Well Son, these are all when you were 18 and 19. Any explanation?"

"Yeah, I guess so. It all started when I got a ticket and didn't pay it so they suspended my license. Then I got caught several times driving with a suspended license. But Mom, I SWEAR I never went to jail!"

Boy how I love seeing the kids squirm sometimes.

Oh I love You never know what you're going to find.


Monkey Man May 13, 2011 at 3:57 PM  

Busted! is right. Too bad it took that to make him come clean.

Karyn May 13, 2011 at 4:20 PM  

Oh do I have a name or 2 for you to look up........

Karyn May 13, 2011 at 4:20 PM  

Oh do I have a name or 2 for you to run!

Maasiyat May 13, 2011 at 4:22 PM  

I seriously have to check out that website. I would have loved to have seen his face. You are one serious mama. Love it!

Andrew Hall May 13, 2011 at 4:28 PM  

My wife and I met at a DSS (Department of Social Services) Boy's Home. My 9 year old boy has only mentioned twice that he was going to run away. I said fine, when the police get you they'll out you in a Home where your mother and I worked. He hasn't talked about running away since.

The Bipolar Diva May 13, 2011 at 4:34 PM  

Karyn, let me know and I'll check for you. It doesn't cover all of the states though...

Classic NYer May 13, 2011 at 5:36 PM  

::shaking my head:: Interesting how it started with "no" and then "that one time" and then...

W.C.Camp May 13, 2011 at 6:56 PM  

Except for checking out your kid's boyfriends, I would avoid the stress of looking at that site for FUN??? W.C.C.

Unknown May 13, 2011 at 7:58 PM  

Thanks Ma. Everyone thinks I'm a criminal.. You know those were all tickets

Jessica Warrick May 13, 2011 at 8:40 PM  

omg he actually got arrested and never told you wow that is outrageous.. i need to check into htis site for my mom she has been dating some really shady characters

Unknown May 13, 2011 at 9:27 PM  

BWHAHAHHAH yeah I could think of a few names to run.. My son would pee down both legs if he knew of that site..

The Bipolar Diva May 13, 2011 at 10:21 PM  

Yes, Cole, they were all traffic tickets. And why did you comment as Benjamin? You'll ALWAYS be Cole to me. ♥

Rob-bear May 14, 2011 at 12:20 PM  

Wow! You really can be mean, Diva. I'm glad you're not my mom!

Anonymous,  May 14, 2011 at 2:56 PM  


Love it! Busted! And tough love. It's the best. Kids crave the structure and consistency that you're providing. Good for you!

keep up the good work,

Cheeseboy May 14, 2011 at 5:04 PM  

Ha! My kids only 9 and I don't even dare look.

Funny stuff.

MarkD60 May 15, 2011 at 5:38 AM  

I will never forget, I guess I was about 10, and my friends and I were breaking windows in an old abandoned house. Someone called the cops, and when they got there we ran out the back door and sped away on our bicycles. The police never saw us.
The next day, police cars were driving all over, really slow.

I was telling a friend about it on the phone, and it my Mom was listening in on the extension.

When I was confronted about I responded aggressively about being eavesdropped on, and refused to acknowledge that I broke any windows, I just responded that they weren't allowed to listen in on my phone calls.

It was a standoff

Anonymous,  May 15, 2011 at 8:18 AM  

I found this post kind of entertaining, being a kid myself and lying to my parents often (not anymore, when I was in high school). Props to you for looking it up and stopping him in his tracks and catching him off guard! I bet that was fun,

Liz Mays May 15, 2011 at 7:12 PM  

I thought you were joking at first, but you weren't! Now I need to dig up some dirt on anyone I can think of with that site. lol

Sey May 16, 2011 at 2:22 PM  

Wow that site is adorable.

Brenda Susan May 16, 2011 at 4:25 PM  

Hey my friend, I just came by to thank you so much for the many lovely comments and gentle words you leave me on my blogs! I really appreciate them and value your friendship.
And you are an AMAZING mama!

Candace May 17, 2011 at 10:38 PM  

lol! children...i swear! He was really working on not getting it was a fulltime job. "No mom, its not me. I have my eyes." CLASSIC. I'm sorry. At least you didn't have to post bail???

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