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Theories, Poodles And Slang

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

I've had nothing, absolutely nothing to say for about a week now. I know what you're thinking....."What the hell is she smokin' to have nothing to say."

Well it's true. I guess the change in medications has me off a bit. Writing has been a "want to but cant."

I was sitting around with the kids tonight asking them to give me topics. I was hoping one of their topics would interest me.

Nothing really jumped out so I'm just going to give you all of them.

Coins. I've bought 16 silver quarters. Not just any quarters but huge, 5 oz. quarters. There are five in a set and they commemorate five national parks. See, the thing is that only so many of these huge-ass quarters were made and collectors want them like mad. I sat around totally obsessed with getting these quarters. You had to buy online at a certain time. It took forever, but I finally got 16 of them. So I have them in for grading now and will sell them to collectors on eBay, hopefully making a nice profit.

Another topic that was thrown at me was my standard poodle with an attitude. Seriously, the dog will stare you down. She completely freaks me out. It's like she's doing the canine version of the Vulcan mind meld. Totally creepy.

Then my liberal (breathe Teri, breathe) son wants me to write about conspiracy theories of course. All I can say on that is no pics, no video, Wag The Dog, ratings boost and all that shit.

Next on the list was text slang. U no the sht kds use. I've told my kids that if I EVER see them texting in text slang I'll take their freaking phones. Same goes with Facebook. Their status updates damn well be in English and not in textlish. I am the keeper of their FB accounts and phones. I have total control. I am Mom the Dictator.

Now for Sara, my pregnant daughter in law. She is obsessed with baked potatoes and apple pie. Three potatoes today and now more pie. We have 6 more months of this. Oh, did I mention that she lives with me? So I have six more months of this.

We did a gender predictor test the other day. Basically you pee in this cup that contains this glitter looking concoction. You swirl it around and around to mix it. Then you wait for it to change colors. We got green. Green means boy. They say it's right 50% of the time.

Oh yeah, the baby, my 14th grandchild, is due on Thanksgiving. Of all FREAKING days to be due! I guess it could be worse, but not much. I planned on eating, a lot, that day. Now I'll probably be gnawing on a turkey leg while telling Sara to push between bites.

That's it, that's all I have.

19 comments:

singedwingangel May 10, 2011 at 9:40 PM  

OR she could deliver on Midnight the morning of Thanksgiving allowing you ample time to bask in the new baby glow and still get your feast on.

Bwhahaha about the glitter test.. 50% huh go figure..

My oldest is bipolar NOS which makes for an interesting life. Because it is the NOS type it means he has symptoms of both at any given time.. Welcome to my world..

Rob-bear May 10, 2011 at 9:50 PM  

Hmmmm. Even your silences are eloquent, Diva.

I think you've been living the land of WTF for a while. And having a whole lot of "interesting" experiences. Yeah, a WHOLE LOT! And so off the wall from a lot of different directions. From on-line silver to pregnant dil. To a delightful Standard Poodle. (Show me a SP who doesn't have attitude.)

All sounds disgustingly normal, but nothing is normal with you. Normal is practically an insult in the land of Diva.

The Bipolar Diva May 10, 2011 at 10:01 PM  

Singed;

Bipolar and interesting certainly go hand in hand. sigh.

The Bipolar Diva May 10, 2011 at 10:02 PM  

Rob;

Oh there's so much more going on, just nothing I can write about just yet.

Crisc May 11, 2011 at 2:18 AM  

My niece has a birthday that falls on Thanksgiving some years. My sister got to eat and went into labor around 10/11pm =)

On another note I have a friend that is really big on selling coins, he makes good money doing it

Dee May 11, 2011 at 2:44 AM  

14th?? Holy cow woman, I'd be out of my mind lol! I'd forbid anyone else to have a baby lol! Not really, I'm actually looking forward to becoming a Gma, someday!

Madelyn May 11, 2011 at 6:48 AM  

Let me just say how much I enjoyed reading this post. I like the way you write and talk about your family. I have a toy poodle and she has an attitude too, probably not as much of one as a Standard Poodle though.

PBJdreamer May 11, 2011 at 7:47 AM  

I liked this post. The randomness and details just make you even that much more fun to read.

I laughed at the idea of you munching on a turkey leg between telling her to PUSH

heee

that is all

Monkey Man May 11, 2011 at 8:12 AM  

You mean pushes between bites of baked potato and pie. Hey! As for the sexing test....I think you'd have saved some money on the test if you would have just flipped one of those 5 oz. quarters - heads for boy...tails for girl. For having nothing to post, you were quite entertaining. As usual.

Maasiyat May 11, 2011 at 8:40 AM  

Oh I love "Mom the Dictator" that is proof you are an awesome mother. I demand videos of you gnawing that turkey leg during labor. Talk about ratings boost lol

Cheeseboy May 11, 2011 at 8:50 AM  

I've defriended my share of FB friends for texting their updates in that weird moon man language.

The coins sound cool. Probably can't use them in a juke box though, eh?

We all go through rough patches of writing/blogging. I'm sure things will start flowing soon.

Katie May 11, 2011 at 12:33 PM  

"textlish"

You have now added a new word to my dictionary. Textlish truly irritates the crud out of me. I can easily handle smileys/emoticons in writing, but the abbreviated words, GRRR!!!

:-) Apple pie and baked potatoes...I'm not pregnant...but dang that sounds AWESOME!!!

Copyboy May 11, 2011 at 2:09 PM  

I never knew that pie 'n potatoes were part of pregnant cravings. Good to know.

jen May 11, 2011 at 2:32 PM  

Fourteen grandkids? Seriously?
I can't even tell you how much your comments on my blog meant to me last week. This transition to grandma status is kicking my butt in a way that I truly detest. Then I think of you and how you kick its butt, and I know I can do it.
U R 2 gr8.
Couldn't resist.

Classic NYer May 11, 2011 at 3:56 PM  

I'm kind of wondering now how much money you wasted on a gender prediction test that's correct 50% of the time... you totally could have just asked me. I'm pretty sure I could predict the gender of an unborn child with 50% accuracy (if I had the aid of magic green glitter, of course)...

Pat May 11, 2011 at 4:37 PM  

I love your ramblings. :)

Bringing Pretty Back May 11, 2011 at 5:33 PM  

I love how honest you are in your posts!
funny!
and 14 grandchildren, that is wonderful!
Have a pretty day!
Kristin

Dazee Dreamer May 11, 2011 at 6:18 PM  

ok, I've never heard of that predictor test. I've done the stick a needle with thread in the eraser of a pencil and see how it moves over your wrist. I believe in that one.

That girl must be needing some potasium. 3 potatoes in one day. wowzers

Candace May 17, 2011 at 10:40 PM  

I say make her make Thanksgiving dinner. I'm sure the women in the Little House on the Prairie days would have done something similar. No, no? How do you do all this? you are such a great mom.

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