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I Think I'll Take That One

Monday, June 13, 2011

You know when you're feeling so great, that everything's going so well, that you just want to sing out and dance in the street? Yeah, neither do I.

Things have been kind of sucky lately, I'm beginning to think that's my life, and it's only taken me 49 years to realize that little nugget.

Anyway there is one thing that I'm really pleased with, that makes me want to sing out and dance in the streets and that's my psychiatrist. Bottom line is that she rocks.

She's gotten my medications sorted out so that I feel, what I assume, normal must be like for most people. Bad days are just bad days not BAD days and good days, well, they're great without being over the top.

My last psychiatrist decided to close her private practice last December so I've been with this new one for six months. It's been great, until today.

After today's session she said she had something to tell me. I knew before she opened her mouth, it had been going too well for it to continue. I was right. She's closing her private practice.

I stayed calm, I mean what in the hell was I going to do at that point? It was on the way home that I began to panic. Do you have any idea how difficult it is not only to find a good psychiatrist, but a psychiatrist at all?

It's easier to win the lottery.

So begins the search. I have three months to find someone that will be a good fit. Then I get to start all over with the getting to know you thing and them wanting to mess with my medications. I'll SO fight that, after all I'm feeling pretty good most days.

And then do you have any idea how embarrassing it is to give your entire personal history, to get the new doc up to speed, when you constantly have to say, "Oh wait, one more thing," and "Oh I forgot about.....?" It pretty much, well, it sucks.

So now I'm on a quest to find a doc that won't be closing their practice any time soon, that will be a good fit for me, that will leave my medications alone and will be able to decipher my chaos. I know that's a tall order, I mean I can't even decipher my chaos.

Since winning the lottery seems so much more likely I stopped by and bought a shit load of lottery tickets for Oregon's Megabucks.

Hopefully my next post will be from a yacht in the Mediterranean.



19 comments:

jamfiescreations1 June 13, 2011 at 11:07 PM  

I know exactly how you feel. I suffer from anxiety/panic disorder and Bipolar II. It is hard to find that perfect therapist. My first therapist took a job in another town so I'm left with a new one, who is okay.

Good luck on you winning the lottery.

The Bipolar Diva June 13, 2011 at 11:11 PM  

It's so frustrating! I need to find someone that does med management and therapy.....grrrrrr!

Rob-bear June 13, 2011 at 11:22 PM  

Are you beginning to feel there is some huge conspiracy to do you in? There probably isn't, but I can see how you might feel that way. Loosing two psychiatrists in a year. Not a "good thing."

Still, you're doing better because of the meds. Now, a little less drama in your life, and things will be good. Oh, and finding a new psychiatrist.

Amie June 13, 2011 at 11:38 PM  

I hear you. I've been seeing my shrink since July of 2009 and I recently moved across state (actually from Albany to Ontario, not sure if you're familiar with either of those little holes in Oregon) and I know I need to see a shrink but I refuse to find a new one over here. I'll be moved back to Albany by September. I'm going to call my clinic and beg to be set up with phone appointments or webcam appointments or something. Another thing that I'm kind of weird about is I need it to be a female shrink. I mean, if I had no option I might be able to find a male I'm comfortable with but I feel so much better with women.

I'm currently going to school to get my bachelors degree in psychology, and after that I'll be going to PSU for my masters, so in a couple years if you're need of a psychologist...I'll be available! Haha

The Bipolar Diva June 13, 2011 at 11:45 PM  

Amie, I know where Albany is, but not Ontario. It's SO hard to find someone. I'd prefer a female too.
PSU? you won't be far from me at all....all of about 20 minutes!

The Bipolar Diva June 13, 2011 at 11:46 PM  

Rob, I think it just might be a conspiracy, but then if I admitted that out loud they'd probably want to treat me for something else! sigh.

Christina Jeanne June 14, 2011 at 5:18 AM  

I hope you find a new psychiatrist that you like.

MarkD60 June 14, 2011 at 5:27 AM  

So, how do you go find a new psychiatrist? Pay for a session? That sounds expensive!

Tricia June 14, 2011 at 6:41 AM  

Good doctors are so hard to find that I don't think they should be allowed to move, retire or otherwise close their practices.

Karen Mortensen June 14, 2011 at 6:50 AM  

That is too bad. All the best on finding a new one.
What does normal feel like? Maybe I can find out someday too.

Furry Bottoms June 14, 2011 at 12:52 PM  

No? not another psychiatrist leaving?! Thats rotten luck!!! I've been lucky my psychiatrist is part of a hospital, so he has a secure job there and he hasn't left in what? 10 yrs I think. He better stay.

Pat June 14, 2011 at 1:29 PM  

As a profession courtesy, couldn't your current doctor write a letter to the next doctor your choose and outline the medications and dosages that she found to have worked for you? Wouldn't that be easier and faster? Why wouldn't the new doctor honor that?

Good luck finding a new doctor! I hope that goes well!

jen June 14, 2011 at 1:39 PM  

This is interesting. I had a similar experience with my oldest son, who at 8 was being bullied and had ADHD issues, etc. I thought a family friend would be the easiest, best solution, since he knew our family and I thought he could be trusted. Turns out, in one session, he told Tucker that my husband has anger issues, etc., and WTF? No more counseling with him.
The next counselor told me it was kids like Tucker that commit Columbine. No more counseling with her (I may or may not have hidden a bomb in her trash).
After three more nondescript counselors, we finally found one that actually worked.
I can only imagine it's harder for a psychiatrist. Our psychiatrist only prescribed meds. She left all the heavy lifting to a counselor. And I didn't care. Her time was not worth my money.
Good luck, Friend.

Maasiyat June 14, 2011 at 2:48 PM  

Good luck with the therapist hunt. I have had rotten luck with them I think I like you all better.

Kimberly June 14, 2011 at 6:54 PM  

I was in the ER a few weeks ago and telling my story all over to a "stranger" was very difficult. I know how frustrating this is. I wish you the best of luck!!

Carrie June 14, 2011 at 8:48 PM  

UGH UGH UGH! Yes, I do know. Yes I hate it too. I actually thought about writing out a few blog posts with ALL that info (with certain facts and names changed for security and embarrassment sake) just so I could print it off and take it with me.

My #1 suggestion is to start any conversation with "I like my cocktail, if you'd like me as a patient, don't mess with it." Then give said doc the evil eye. Most psych's are afraid of bipolars ;)

michael June 14, 2011 at 9:22 PM  

Need a cabin boy after you cash THE big ticket?

Recovering Church Lady June 15, 2011 at 6:43 PM  

I am so sorry! I can't imagine spilling my guts over and over again to new docs repeatedly. Maybe you should just give them your blog address!

Beth June 17, 2011 at 10:10 AM  

I get the sucky thing. Completely.
And I have yet to find a combination of meds that leaves me feeling good without either a: blurring the edges too much or b: killing the libido so I can understand that if you've found a winning combination, you don't want ANYONE messing with the cocktail.

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