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I Thought I Was Ready

Wednesday, July 6, 2011

If you look under my bathroom sink, somewhere between the mountain of plastic containers holding tons of hair products, lotions, and things I have no idea what they are, or why I have them, you'll see filled gallon sized baggies.

In those baggies are just about every toiletry item I need for a motorcycle trip. There's, you know, normal stuff like fingernail clippers, Q-Tips, a small container of baking soda for brushing my teeth (tooth paste makes me gag, I mean really, really gag to the point of throwing up gagging), travel sized Dial Shower Gel, an extra contact (yes, "an" as in one, I only wear one contact. I use one eye to read and one eye to for distance), contact lens solution, etc.

The idea being that all I have to do when I'm packing for a motorcycle trip is throw the baggie in the suitcase and I'm ready to bolt. There are a couple of things that aren't in the baggie: a shower scrubby, hair brush and blow dryer. I usually throw those things in the morning of the trip.

The first night of the trip last weekend I got to the hotel hot and tired, ready to jump in the shower and get off the road grime. I got the body wash, the razor, the shampoo and the, wait, it's wasn't there! The sacred scrubby! I'd forgotten the damn scrubby!

How in the hell does one get CLEAN without a scrubby? It's the greatest invention EVER made, well besides Christian Louboutin stilettos, and I FREAKING forgot it! I was reduced to using the very un-diva like hotel wash cloth.

You can always tell they're Christian Louboutin by the inside of the heel being red. Heavenly.

Have you ever tried to get a hotel wash cloth to lather up? Have you ever thought about exactly WHAT else those wash clothes have washed, or attempted to wash? I don't care if the hotel's laundry service leaves them in a vat of bleach for hours on end, the entire thing is creepy. It's like lying on the hotel bedspread that you know is never cleaned. The very bedspread that other disgusting, dirty people have done disgusting, dirty things on. Why did I even write that? I feel all gaggy now. I digress.

I had no choice but to try to use the stinkin' hotel wash cloth. At that point the road grime was more of a disgusting thought to me than the wash cloth. After washing and conditioning my hair I reached for the dreaded poor excuse for a body cleaner. I wet it and applied the bath gel. No lather, no damn lather. How in hell am I supposed to get clean? By this time I know I'm going to need a xanex, I mean, I don't do dirt. Sweat from working out I can handle, for a short time, but dirt? No EFFIN' WAY!

I did my best and even though the wash cloth was covered with road grime, I still felt dirty. D.I.R.T.Y. I tell you!

Oh well I was to be home soon and my heavenly scrubby would be awaiting me. I guess it's a small price to pay for being able to ride in the wind in such a beautiful place as Oregon.


Unknown July 6, 2011 at 6:54 PM  

OH I hear ya.. I have loofas and scrubbies both. My sister doesn't even use a RAG to bath.. WTH? We won't even get into her.. I just cannot fathom..

Just Two Chicks July 6, 2011 at 7:33 PM  

It's good you didn't digress so far as to discuss bedbugs!! Nothing washes that away... yuck!!! ;)

Jessica Warrick July 6, 2011 at 7:45 PM  

oh i hear ya i cant shower with out a scrubby

Carrie July 6, 2011 at 7:52 PM  

You know they are like a dollar at walmart right? I would have been out the door buying one before I even bothered turning the water on :D

Cloudia July 6, 2011 at 7:53 PM  


Aloha from Waikiki

Comfort Spiral


> < } } ( ° >

< ° ) } } > <

The Bipolar Diva July 6, 2011 at 8:25 PM  

Yeah Carrie, but there was no walmart there, I was already in the shower and it was too late. Oh well, next time I'm packing several FIRST! lol

Christy July 6, 2011 at 8:39 PM  

And how do you clean the scrubby? I mean it does have germs........LOL!

middle child July 6, 2011 at 8:58 PM  

Just use your hands! They are oh so versatile!

The Bipolar Diva July 6, 2011 at 9:42 PM  

Mad Mind;

I sterilize that thing with hibclens!

MarkD60 July 7, 2011 at 5:15 AM  

I do like those shoes! My wife could use a pair!

Furry Bottoms July 7, 2011 at 8:26 AM  

I had to laugh right out loud at the washcloth. I always bring my own pillows and bedspread on road trips to use in hotels because I ain't touching their stuff.

You know the maid isn't doing a good job when you find pink stuff growing around the crevices of the bath tub/shower.

When you see the maid tolley in the hallways going from room to room, don't you wonder why it isn't loaded up way more with sheets, bedcovers and towels? It barely looks like it contains much of anything. Sure, a bin for dirty towels, but where are the clean ones... and sheets and bedspreads?

Now, don't get me started on the fricking remote control.

Monkey Man July 7, 2011 at 9:10 AM  

Maybe you need to pack a wash cloth in one of those gallon size baggies as a back up. And a sleeping bag to throw on top of those beds.

Classic NYer July 7, 2011 at 10:05 AM  

I'm with middle child... I totally would have just used my hands. You'd be amazed at how many things your hands can do!

Then again, I'm not much of a diva myself... I'd have been all right with hotel soap, haha!

Copyboy July 7, 2011 at 10:29 AM  

Am I truly a dirty boy for not using a washcloth. I'm skin on soap on skin.

Brenda Susan July 7, 2011 at 2:37 PM  

Ha! You always make me smile my true Diva friend! It is so great to go for a long ride but there is that road dirt feeling and the helmet hair results to deal with afterwards! Wish they could invent a hair-friendly helmet! You get right on that ok? Thanx!

Claudya Martinez July 8, 2011 at 12:03 PM  

I love the scrubby. Love it. Hotels should just have some available for purchase.

Pat July 9, 2011 at 10:22 AM  

I always use a scrubby until about a week or so ago. I've had a terrible rash that started on my leg and has spread all over my body. I started thinking that my scrubby was probably the culprit and spreading the rash. I mentioned this to my niece, who had worked at Bed, Bath and Beyond for a few years, and she said, "Do you know how much bacteria lives on those things?" So since then I've stopped using it. Now I use a washcloth which I change every day. I don't get the lather that I used to, though. I still might break down and go back to scrubbies, but I'll make sure to change them more frequently, that's for sure!

The Bipolar Diva July 9, 2011 at 1:01 PM  


I wash mine in Hibiclens and replace them every couple of weeks or so. Hopefully I'm god to go?

Cheeseboy July 9, 2011 at 2:56 PM  

I have something horrible to admit. I've never used a scrubbie. Do men use those? I hope we don't use them. Should I have been using one?

Holly July 9, 2011 at 7:52 PM  

Bleh... I think I need to go deeper into being agoraphobic.LOL!
I AM glad you survived! Those heels are adorable... I think I'd break my neck now, though. Next time, don't forget your own shampoo, conditioner and body wash.

Gerald June 11, 2013 at 6:50 PM  

I love my scrubby too! lol!!!

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