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Remember How You Hung Up The Phone?

Thursday, July 28, 2011

Dear Mom;

You've been gone for five years now. Wow, I can't believe it's been that long. I think about you a lot, especially when I look at Anna-Grace Elizabeth, your great-granddaughter. She's three now and has curly brown hair that's long enough for pigtails, finally. She has huge brown eyes and the personality of a "Robinson" girl.

I laugh when I remember you hanging up on Karli's dad when he called to tell you she was pregnant with Jakob. You eventually called back.

I remember you hanging up the phone when Karli was pregnant with Isaiah and she told you he was a boy. You really wanted a great-granddaughter, even though you loved him with all of your heart when he got here.

You even hung up on Karli when she told you Josiah was a boy. You were REALLY wanting a great granddaughter and you were 0 for 3.

The day we found out Karli's fourth baby was to be a girl I cried. I cried for you. I cried for the joy you would have had knowing another Princess was on the way.

I cried for you when she was born three months early and fought for her life.

I cried for you when I bought her micro-preemie clothes, and again when we brought her home.

Karli sent me pictures today and I cried as I saw Anna-Grace through your eyes. With everything in me I hope that you can see her. I hope that you have realized your dreams were fulfilled. There is another Princess in the lineage that walks this earth.

When I look at her, each and every time, I think of you and part of me cries. You would have adored her. I can see you smile at her "diva-ness." She's all girl. She's all about the shoes, the nail polish, her hair, prissing about and the color purple.

I hear your laugh when she does some silly thing like cocking her head and raising her eyebrows.

She brings you back to me. Through watching Anna-Grace grow I still have my mom.





32 comments:

Karyn July 28, 2011 at 6:39 PM  

You look like your mom..... I know how you feel- I see things my mom has missed , my children, and grandchildren- Weird thing is, my daughter was born on the same day my mom died, 11 years later- and she is just like her down to mannerisms and sayings- I think my mom knows everything going on....jut like yours does..... Hugs my very good friend, love you!

Cloudia July 28, 2011 at 7:11 PM  

Deep thoughts...



Aloha from Waikiki;


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From Tracie July 28, 2011 at 7:33 PM  

Tears!!

Those sweet little pig-tales, and that slightly mischievous face. I know your mom is looking down and watching every minute.

Snowbrush July 28, 2011 at 7:35 PM  

Great post, Diva. On a slightly related subject, my mother never said goodbye when she was ready to hangup, she just hungup (the way people do on TV). Sometimes, just to mess with her, I would call her back and say that the phone company must have screwed up and disconnected us.

Maasiyat July 28, 2011 at 7:36 PM  

You are such a strong person. I admire you for all you ahve lived through and yet you can still see the wonderfulness that shines around you.

Rob-bear July 28, 2011 at 7:42 PM  

Beautiful thoughts, Diva.

Jennifer Perry July 28, 2011 at 7:51 PM  

I believe beyond any doubt that your mother sees Anna-Grace, and feels pure love and joy.

Gucci Mama July 28, 2011 at 7:57 PM  

This is such a touching tribute to your mom. I love it. You and Anna-Grace both look so much like her!

The Bipolar Diva July 28, 2011 at 9:53 PM  

Karyn;

Thank you so much. It's hard some days.

The Bipolar Diva July 28, 2011 at 9:54 PM  

Tracie;

She's pure mischief!

The Bipolar Diva July 28, 2011 at 9:55 PM  

Snowbrush, thank you. So how did your mom take you messing with her?

The Bipolar Diva July 28, 2011 at 9:56 PM  

Jennifer, that's so very encouraging. thank you...

Singedwingangel July 28, 2011 at 10:38 PM  

This has always been my belief when it comes to the loss of our elder loved ones before kids came. I believe that those babies that came after their passing were hand picked by them. They come in having left the arms of our loved ones, having been buried deep in their necks for naps and showered with kisses from them as well. Our loved ones whispered our childhood memories and secrets into their ears , so later they can ask us questions that come from seemingly nowhere. Our late loved ones hold their hands and smell their breath and send them to us, after making their mark on them. Which is why you can look at that beautiful baby and see your mom. She had her first.

Debbie(single;complicated) July 29, 2011 at 6:18 AM  

so sorry for you loss!! What a beautiful post. I am sure your mom is watching both her princess's....

MarkD60 July 29, 2011 at 6:21 AM  

My first thought was that your Mom looks like you, but I guess the opposite is true.

Just Two Chicks July 29, 2011 at 8:27 AM  

Love your memories and how you're able to put them in print without losing the warmth and humor. I could almost hear you laughing and crying. Love that baby too, and the name Anna Grace. My son was the one who ended up with the curly hair. Bad mommy that I was and still am, I let it grow long (couldn't stand to cut those curls). People always told me I had a beautiful little girl. I figure it's made him a stronger male :)
Beautiful post!!

Dee July 29, 2011 at 12:53 PM  

Last week was the 12 year "anniversary" of my Mom passing away, I know how you feel. Hugs boo!

middle child July 29, 2011 at 10:22 PM  

Well written. You do have many blessings in your life. Try to hold on to that when the bad days come.

Recovering Church Lady July 29, 2011 at 10:54 PM  

I can so clearly see your mom in your granddaughter! So much sweetness mixed with bitter, lets hang on to the idea that those who've gone ahead can still see the young ones behind. I love that Diva. Bless you Sweetheart.

Carrie July 30, 2011 at 12:24 PM  

Really Diva, couldn't you have a picked a day that I DIDN'T do my make up to make me cry? Anna-Grace looks a lot like your momma, She'd be so proud of that little peanut. *hugs* for you!

Mad Mind July 30, 2011 at 1:21 PM  

YOU have your mom's smile. How cool is that? Your kids and grandkids get to see her smile every day.

~Onreeone~ July 30, 2011 at 9:34 PM  

She really does resemble your Mama...the Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away. I will never understand it, but I know your Mom is watching over all of you and smiling:) Blessings to you my friend.

Candace July 30, 2011 at 10:30 PM  

crazy beautifully written. I am glad you get to see your mom in Anna Grace.

Cheeseboy July 31, 2011 at 4:38 PM  

Your mom is definitely with you and I can promise you she will be with that little one for the rest of her life.

Kelley August 1, 2011 at 7:00 AM  

I am tearing up over here! I am so sorry that you have lost your mother. Both are such beautiful people, as are you.

Copyboy August 2, 2011 at 8:33 AM  

Such a warm open letter to an amazing woman. Though when you look in the mirror you surely see the same Diva-ness.

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