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Cocaine And Alcohol. Let's Par-Tay!

Monday, August 8, 2011

It's tragic that some people choose to live that way, especially when they are carrying a life. That  life, that child, didn't choose to be born cocaine and alcohol addicted. That child didn't choose to be affected by Fetal Alcohol Effects. That child didn't choose the cards they were dealt. But they damn sure can choose how they play those cards.

A few of my kids were dealt those very cards. It's been interesting to see how they've played them. A couple have gone off the deep end and decided to return to the very life they came from before being placed as my children. It's a shame, but it was their choice.

One of my children, my daughter Nikki, was dealt a pretty shitty hand. On her hospital records the nurses noted "infant smells like a brewery." She was also filled to the brim with cocaine. She was three pounds of pure addiction. You can read more of her story here.

Turns out my little "Cupcake" can play a mean hand of cards. It took me three years after her high school graduation to talk her into taking one college class. I wanted her to get her feet wet. I wanted her to meet people. I wanted her to know she could succeed.

Today when I drove up to the mailboxes at the end of our cul-de-sac I heard, "MOM, I PASSED! I MADE IT INTO READING 115!" I could see each and every tooth in that sparkling smile. She was practically jumping up and down.

As soon as I got in the house she showed me her test results, her face beaming. Then she took the paper and put it on the refrigerator for everyone else to see. She was SO proud of herself, and she should be. 

She hit a milestone today, not really making it into Reading 115, but by gaining the confidence to know she can do it.  She didn't let her learning difficulty get in the way. She worked her ass off and she played a royal flush. She hit the jackpot. She knows her future is in her very capable hands. My baby girl won and she has a mom that's saying, "I knew you could do it!"


Unknown August 8, 2011 at 3:17 PM  

That is such great news! She must be so proud!

Gucci Mama August 8, 2011 at 3:52 PM  

That is so awesome! You must be so proud of her and she should be so proud of herself!

She is absolutely stunning, by the way.

Andrew Hall August 8, 2011 at 4:00 PM  

There's nothing like watching your kid do well at something.

Jessica Warrick August 8, 2011 at 4:31 PM  

oh wow congratulations to her... and sorry about the others..

Jessica Warrick August 8, 2011 at 4:32 PM  

congratulations to her and sorry for the other ones that chose the wrong path.

Dazee Dreamer August 8, 2011 at 4:41 PM  

Tell her congrats from me. I also think she is a beautiful girl. I'm so glad that she knew who her parents were. I feel like some children are really supposed to be ours, they just might come to us in a different way.

Rob-bear August 8, 2011 at 4:48 PM  

Way to go, Nikki! You've done very well, m'lady. (I'da said ya done good, but then I wouldn't get a pass on my English, let alone get into Reading 115.)
1. Take time to celebrate, then
2. Tell us what comes next, please.

Christina August 8, 2011 at 5:03 PM  

just wanted to say, i read your blog regularly. i was adopted at 2 years old and was born addicted to heroin and cocaine. im now 31 years old, i just graduated from a medical assistant college program, and for the first time in over 4 years, can say i am sober. i have 4 children. two my mom took in, 1 with fetal alcohol syndrome...and i just passed the 8th birthday of my then 5 year old when she herself was adopted. they put labels on her too, unfortunately i was completely sober with her pregnancy but taking depakote for my bipolar disorder...she finally got the diagnoses of having "depakene disorder" which caused her brain disorder, hearing loss and learning disorder. i am blessed to have wonderful angels in our lives taht looked past her "labels" as well and chose to see me for the person that i truly am and not the person that made the mistakes i made in losing my baby. so i just wanted to tell you that i think you and your family are blessed and your children are very lucky to have such wonderful parents! :) and congrats to your daughter for getting into her class!

Snowbrush August 8, 2011 at 5:22 PM  

Oh, Diva, what a story. One of Peggy's fellow L&D nurses just transferred out, explaining that stories such as the one surrounding Nikki's birth have become the norm rather than the exception, and, at 63, she just can't take it anymore.

Maasiyat August 8, 2011 at 5:29 PM  

Good for her!! And kudos to you for not allowing her to set the bar too low and pushing her just enogh to allow her to fly on her own you simply amaze me I so wish I had had a mother just half of what you are

Susie - Walking Butterfly August 8, 2011 at 5:32 PM  

Woohoo!! There is your glorious reward my friend. Not that you do it for a reward, but wow, doesn't that feel really really GOOD? Yay for both of you!

Brenda Susan August 8, 2011 at 5:34 PM  

WooHoo! There is your reward my friend. Not that you do it for a reward, but wow, doesn't that feel just really really GOOD? Yay to both of you!

Anonymous,  August 8, 2011 at 5:59 PM  

That's beautiful. Congrats Baby Girl and good for you.

Velvet_Heaven August 8, 2011 at 8:18 PM  

I love this! How incredibly inspiring. I don't think I can truly find the words to say how heart-warming this is. Your entire blog is amazing! Congrats, to you both, for beating the odds.

Nolie August 8, 2011 at 8:30 PM  

WTG Nikki! Congratulations!!

The Bipolar Diva August 8, 2011 at 8:48 PM  

You all are so wonderful. Many of you I've emailed and thanked you personally if I had your email address. Nikki's been busy painting her dresser in her room today and tonight and said she will read everyone's comments tonight when she settles down. You, my friends, will make her day even better than it was before.

The Bipolar Diva August 8, 2011 at 8:48 PM  


that's such a sad commentary.

The Bipolar Diva August 8, 2011 at 8:49 PM  


thank you, you are too kind.

The Bipolar Diva August 8, 2011 at 8:50 PM  


Thank you so much! She's worked her little butt off and I'm so proud of her!

carrie August 8, 2011 at 9:08 PM  

WTG! I'm so happy for her!! That's just awesome! She SHOULD be proud of herself! Can't wait to see what she is gonna do next, she's just gonna take the world by storm, just like her momma :D

Karyn August 8, 2011 at 9:18 PM  

Nikki is one of the most beautiful, brightest stars I have ever met. She is smart and articulate , and can do ANYTHING she puts her mind to. I would have never known she was born with issues- you've done a good job Teri!

The Bipolar Diva August 8, 2011 at 9:21 PM  

Karyn, you know how special my girl is. All the credit be to her!

middle child August 8, 2011 at 10:35 PM  

Nikki is beautiful and awesome just like her mother. You did good!

Rob-bear August 9, 2011 at 12:27 AM  

Further thought. Hmmmm. I don't think it's a great idea to party with coke and alcohol, even if you're not pregnant. Might mess with your brain and leave you permanently fried. That would be so "Not fun."

Diandra August 9, 2011 at 3:33 AM  


I wonder why so many parents don't think about what they o to their children, even before they are born! My mother smoked during her whole pregnancy, and still today I suffer the consequences: A defect in my brain keeps me from recognizing patterns and manifests as mild dyslexia, mild dyscalculia and increased difficulty recognizing faces. (Still I made it through university - the other thing she passed down to me was her family's stubbornness.)

It doesn't matter what she was given, your daughter can do everything she wants.

Crisc August 9, 2011 at 3:39 AM  

Awesome Job Nikki! I know the feeling of passing your 1st College class and it's a good one =)

Liz Mays August 9, 2011 at 5:48 AM  

Woohoo! That's tenacity and I love it!

Unknown August 9, 2011 at 7:14 AM  

Aw, good for her!! That's awesome news! August 9, 2011 at 7:23 AM  

--Finally, something inspiring to read.
Nikki, CONGRATS! It's only the beginning for you. You did it!

Brava. Bravo. Fab. Groovy. Sensational. Inspiring.

Pat August 9, 2011 at 7:30 AM  

This is great news! Congrats to Nikki! You both must be so proud!

Copyboy August 9, 2011 at 9:02 AM  

You really are an amazing woman! I know that 'cause I can see that in your daughters smile. Tells me everything about you.

The Bipolar Diva August 9, 2011 at 9:39 AM  

I am so very proud of her! She deserves all the accolades!

MichaelHarley August 9, 2011 at 12:02 PM  

Congratulations to Nikki on her accomplishment, and to you mom for always encouraging and believing in her. Both her endeavor and your support made this happen and become a reality. We each all have our own deck of cards and decide which game to play. This story makes me happy amongst the typical bleak things you hear about. Kudos to both of ya!

Babes Mami August 9, 2011 at 7:21 PM  

Awww congrats to Nikki! Go her and go mom! She can do anything she wants to do!

Just Two Chicks August 12, 2011 at 9:31 AM  

Sweet girl! You're very lucky to have her! I wonder if being dealt a bad hand, makes you stronger and more willing to fight in the long run. I say that because I had to fight for everything. My daughter, she's not a fighter... she doesn't want to do anything if it's too hard. That is so frustrating to me. I didn't raise her like this, yet this is what we deal with on a daily basis.

Classic NYer August 15, 2011 at 4:00 PM  

You know, none of that bullshit (pardon my language) comes through at all when you're talking to her. Seriously. If you hadn't said anything, I wouldn't know... in fact, she's a fucking smart kid. That's my impression. Haha, I think you made up the fetal alcohol syndrome story. (I'm joking. Don't kill me...)

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