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Too Important Not To Read

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

I'm re-posting this, as I probably will every October 11th. I re-post it because of what the devastating effects of the Herpes virus for newborns can be. Most people are unaware, as we were until we lived it. 


I'm asking you something I never ask, please, please re-post this, re tweet it, help spread the news of this insidious virus. I ask you to do something I can't, read this post and take it in. The pain after seven years is still too great to re-live.


Please educate yourselves and your children. I wish we had known.

Six years ago tonight the angels came for Isaiah. We had prayed for weeks for his Creator to take him home, to end his pain. When the memories come I push them away. It's still too difficult to think about what really happened.

When I think of his feeding tube being removed it kills me. Herpes destroyed all of his brain except for the most basic of functions. The only way for him to be at peace was to remove the tube or overdose him on his pain meds. To see my grandson starve to death is a picture I want to forget forever. To hear him crying and be told it was only a reflex devastated me.

The child was never laid down, he was always in arms or snuggled up to his mommy at night. We had plenty of waiting arms for him to be passed to. We had a lifetime of love to give him in a very short time.

I remember the day the doctors told us that he would never be perfect. I told them that perfect to us and perfect to them was different. Perfect to us was as simple as sharing an ice cream cone with his grandfather. That was before they told us he would die.

I couldn't be at the last meeting with the doctors to hear that news. I knew that's what they would say and I didn't have the strength to hear them utter the words. We brought Isaiah home that night and waited. We waited and watched. We waited and prayed. We waited and cried.

Then there came the moment when my daughter took him into her arms and put the stethoscope to his heart and there was no beat, there was no pulse. He was gone.

We waited again. We waited for the men in the black van to come and take Isaiah. We passed him around. We kissed him. We loved him physically for the last time and we cried. When the men came for him my daughter carefully and lovingly strapped him into his car seat. We covered his tiny body with his blanket and we cried.

At his viewing we saw the tiny angel in his tiny bed that would hold him now. We wrote him letters, we gave him trinkets and we cried.

At his memorial service we were amazed at the packed seats. Isaiah touched more people in his short life than most people do in a life time. We cried.

At his burial his grandfather took the shovel and covered him with the earth that would keep him warm for eternity and we cried.

Today the pain remains but the tears are few, they hurt too much, they remind us of that time.

Today I'm thankful for the time we had with him. I'm thankful that our family is stronger. I'm thankful that nothing that bad can happen to us again. I'm thankful we have a new perspective on our current problems. Once you've lost a tiny grand child nothing can be as bad, nothing as traumatic.

One day I'll be able to look at his pictures again. We wait until we can see him again. We wait until we can hold him again. We wait and inside we cry.

14 comments:

Mad Mind October 11, 2011 at 2:13 PM  

Just wanted you to know I read it. There are no words.

jen October 11, 2011 at 4:23 PM  

So beautifully written. These angels keep us going here on earth, don't they? Thinking of Isaiah today.

The Bipolar Diva October 11, 2011 at 4:26 PM  

Mad Mind, I know you know the pain. and I'm so sorry.

myinnerchick.com October 11, 2011 at 4:33 PM  

--Dear, Diva,
I hear you. I understand.
Nothing can hurt you anymore after something like this. Nothing.

Lots Love to you & hugs coming from Minnesota, dear. Xxx

Kelly October 11, 2011 at 7:51 PM  

*HUGS*

I know how hard it is. My family only got 12 hours with my niece. No family should ever have to experience that sort of pain.

Memphis Steve October 11, 2011 at 9:26 PM  

I didn't know any of this. I can't imagine going through that as a parent.

The Bipolar Diva October 11, 2011 at 9:59 PM  

Steve;

It's a scary, horrible virus for little ones.

up2randomthoughts October 13, 2011 at 2:20 PM  

Wow! Incredibly powerful and deeply moving.

I happened to click on a link from an interesting comment you made on Kim's blog and wound up here. It was like being hit over the head with a baseball bat. I cannot imagine the depth of pain in all your hearts, yet through it all, so much love. So much love. Like I said before - wow.

Wishing you light and love.

Phil

The Bipolar Diva October 13, 2011 at 5:54 PM  

Up2randomthoughts;

It's such a scary reality, and the fact that so few people know of it's horror is scary as well.

Thanks so much for coming by and for your kind words.

Impulsive Addict October 17, 2011 at 11:49 AM  

I have no words for what I just read. Only tears. I'm so sorry.

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