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Lingerie And Trees

Monday, December 19, 2011

The very first thing I do when I wake up is reach under the pillow and grab the remote to turn on the news. Yes, it's under my pillow I'm that obsessed.

The next thing I do is check my phone for texts, emails and Facebook, once again I'm that obsessed.
The worst mornings, the ones that give me that queasy, OMG, feelings are those that have a crap load of emails in my main account.

I open the mail app with one eye closed as if I'm opening a letter from the IRS, yes, I've done that too. I'll go on record here on my blog and in full public view saying I think the IRS are nothing but glorified mob men out to break your legs, even if your bill is only $16.08, but that's another post.

Back to the flood of email in my main account. Usually that means ambien shopping, and boy I seemed to ambien shop last night.

The first one I looked at I seem to have flashes of memory of. It's a 7 1/2 ft white Christmas tree with thousands of white lights. I saw one the other night and thought it was really pretty. I guess I thought it was REALLY pretty 'cuz one is gonna show up at my door in a few days. That'll be in storage for the next year.

Then there was one from Bare Necessities. Evidently there was some Aubade lingerie I couldn't live without, I mean, who could, right? I can always send that back, maybe.

Everything else seemed to be presents for the kids, that's ok. Oh I hope I didn't pay any $99 overnight shipping fees. I was too afraid to read the emails all the way through. I did, however, click them all as read so I didn't have to stare all day at my iPhone seeing 37 new emails waiting for me.

Speaking of getting things in the mail, you have to go read throughbrowneyes latest post. She always make me laugh. I LOVE the way she writes. When I first met her I would have never guessed she would be so funny. I don't mean that in a judgmental type way, it's just that she presents herself as a cultured, athletic and all around great type of person. Thinking about it though, why wouldn't she write great? Greatness seems to follow her. Check her out. There's something mentioned in her blog I need, only for the bathrooms and my closet though. Well, come to think of it, I need it for the entire house. If you stop by tell I said hey.

Once again, back to my midnight shopping. From now on I'll turn off the computer, turn out the lights, put a pillow over my head and dream of one day waking up with no more ambien shopping notices.


highheeledlife December 19, 2011 at 11:29 AM  

I think we have all had these moments! Hoping you got yourself something really great!! xo HHL

Nolie December 19, 2011 at 12:04 PM  

I see you didn't mention a single thing about buying me anything. Off to cry now.

Babes Mami December 19, 2011 at 12:25 PM  

oh ambien shopping...why am I never on your list? haha

that tree is really pretty...for next year!

Susie - Walking Butterfly December 19, 2011 at 12:33 PM  

Shopping while on Ambien, bad idea, no wonder you're afraid to open the mail.
Here is where I get all mothery and advice-giving: Watching, listening or reading the news BEFORE even facing the day would definitely lead me into the depths of depression. Can you gently wean yourself off of that?
Not being bossy, just wondering because I care.

Unknown December 19, 2011 at 1:26 PM  

Rather than reaching asap for the remote, my first reach is for the phone. Email, twitter, FB, KGW news that order. LOL and BTW, I think that white christmas tree is going to be beautiful! ;-)

Rob-bear December 19, 2011 at 1:32 PM  

Danger! Danger! Trees do not like like lingerie. Trees will poke holes in lingerie every chance they get. (I've received this warning from the women in my family.)

Shopping on Ambien? Recovering Church Lady has that figured out for you.

Suggestion. When ever you have a urge to shop, lie down and go to sleep. You can say the Bear told you that.

The Bipolar Diva December 19, 2011 at 1:39 PM  

Nolie, I'll bring it when I come to Canada! :)

The Bipolar Diva December 19, 2011 at 1:41 PM  


I hope it's pretty. I'll have to wait a year to find out!

The Bipolar Diva December 19, 2011 at 1:42 PM  


I shall take your advice :)

The Bipolar Diva December 19, 2011 at 1:43 PM  

Whoops, that should have been S...

The Bipolar Diva December 19, 2011 at 1:43 PM  

Bear, you always tell me great things. :)

Tami December 19, 2011 at 1:48 PM  

Been there, done that! Shopping online is sooo bad for those who are impulsive! (meaning ME)!

Unknown December 19, 2011 at 5:01 PM  

Umm could you ambien shop one more night for me and get me an awesome digital camera and not a crappy point and shoot?? Preeeeeetttttyyyy pleasseeeeee I have been a very good girl... December 19, 2011 at 5:23 PM  

that's my problem, too...
I buy things 'cuz I CANNOT live without them!! :) XX

For example, I found those high wedged heeled black boots!!

Leo December 19, 2011 at 6:10 PM  

So funny. I do the same thing. Only it's not ambien shopping...mine is pinot noir shopping. Or just plain shopping! My girlfriend and I call it SUI. Shopping Under the Influence. I cringe sometimes when I see what I've ordered...and your right, you can always return it. The worst is when things show open the boxes up and forget that you even ordered it. So glad I am not alone. LOL!!

Glammourmama2 December 19, 2011 at 9:04 PM  

I'd rather have been Ambien shopping than what I did, Ambien Texting! I didn't even remember what the heck I texted to someone. How embarrassing! Also, alcohol and Ambien - bad, very bad! I know people who completely freaked out on the combination.

MarkD60 December 20, 2011 at 2:46 AM  

I agree with you about the IRS. They send you a $16 bill with a $25 fine. But by the time you receive it is late and has accumulated interst, and you can't calculate how much to pay. Then you get a bill for $1.12, with a $25 fine, plus more interest...

I was looking for more lingerie and less trees.

Classic NYer December 20, 2011 at 4:51 AM  

If you want, you can send that tree to me, as I don't have one this year. I also don't have a place to put one, but that's not the point. ;-)

Anonymous,  December 20, 2011 at 8:24 AM  

holy crap woman! how am i just seeing this now??? it didn't show up in my damn feed! you are TOO too kind, and whatever it is you need for your bathroom and closet (ok, admission... it's KILLING me... what is it???) it's YOURS! and PS - we still have to go shoot a fucking gun. xo to you, keep writing... the blogging world is wayyyy better off with you in it. AC

Anonymous,  December 20, 2011 at 8:24 AM  

holy crap woman! how am i just seeing this now??? it didn't show up in my damn feed! you are TOO too kind, and whatever it is you need for your bathroom and closet (ok, admission... it's KILLING me... what is it???) it's YOURS! and PS - we still have to go shoot a fucking gun. xo to you, keep writing... the blogging world is wayyyy better off with you in it. AC

The Bipolar Diva December 20, 2011 at 9:11 AM  


it's the blow up doll! yes, call me...let's go shoot!

Just Two Chicks December 20, 2011 at 9:11 AM  

How funny, but not, I guess. LOL. The wife said Ambien did odd things to to her when she took it. She said she would wake up and not remember a thing after taking it. One time, her bathroom was covered all over in toilet paper. After that she decided no more...

I can't sleep at all lately, but I attribute it to the dogs, and not being able to move without waking up each time.

I love shopping, it sure would be a shame not to remember it ;)

Barfly December 21, 2011 at 11:53 AM  

Bi, I'm not joking around here. Please see this link to my blog to see what I did on ambien. I've done other stuff I'd like to tell you about. I take it every night.

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