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In The Air

Sunday, April 22, 2012

In the plane on our way to Vegas. Was going to post about that BUT this new blogger interface has pissed me off!

You know how I have my signature at the bottom of the page? It takes me forever to get it moved down so I can even begin to write a post! Not happy. Not happy at all, and a not happy Diva makes for a not happy time!

Why does damned thing have to change? It wasn't broken so leave it the heck alone. Geesh!

Anyway back to the trip I guess. I really don't have much to say, for me that's kind of rare, but today it's true.

I decided I needed a refresher on my rules and checkpoints for leaving my kids alone in the house for a week so I re-read my post "Before You Pack That Luggage." Since I can't figure out how to link to it with this new interface I'm just going to re-post the handy tips here.

Ready, Set. Go.


Raising a pack of wolves big family has taught me what to do before, and after, parental vacations. I feel it's my obligation to pass along these handy tips, all gathered by personal experience, to parents everywhere considering a getaway.



Before leaving:
Always inform neighbors and give them written permission to call police. Drop hints of this in casual conversation with kids.

Count number of children and pets before leaving.

Note mileage, gas level and radio station of the parental vehicles.

Always take note of the level of garbage (and recycle) in the outside can(s) before leaving and upon return. If there’s less when you return you can be certain that someone has some 'splainin' to do.

Give kids your itinerary showing you'll return one day later than you actually will.

Be sure to leave emergency money/credit card and check receipts against change/statements.

Hide all duct tape and rope.


Upon return:

If kids are overly anxious to greet you, suspect that they're engaging in a distraction technique.

Make sure parental TV lock has not been hacked.

Look through digital cameras, cell phone pictures and Facebook pages. Kids tend to be dumb and will take pictures and post evidence of their dirty deeds.

Always check to see if those little indentations in the carpet from the furniture are showing. If they are the furniture has been moved. In my house that usually means they've set up Ultimate fighting in the living room. They've chosen names before and thrown the victims in the middle of the room to fight when they ring the dinner bell.

Search all cabinets and walls, even behind plants, for signs of cherry tomato fights.

Check grout lines, and beneath items on kitchen counter, for flour that was most probably used in a flour fight.

Check youngest kids for bruises, rope burn or loss of hair or eyebrows. 

Examine all picture frames to see if they've been changed out. Yes, it's happened, more than once.

Search the house for new bottles of Super Glue. Yes, I have found things super glued together upon my return. Usually in the living room where the kids seem to believe is some sort of indoor sports arena.

Make sure dogs still have whiskers and eyelashes. My poor, poor lab.

If house is sparkling clean, you know that something's up.

Always peruse mugshotlist.com.

If all else fails pay off the weakest link.


Well that's my list. I may or may not post while I'm there, but I'll try to at least post some pictures. Sun, pool. alcohol and gambling......I'm ready.

Hasta la vista!


  

18 comments:

Emi April 22, 2012 at 2:19 PM  

I feel like this is the basis of my list of things I take into consideration when my parents leave. However, with far less siblings to contend with, the tracks are much less difficult to cover!

YeamieWaffles April 22, 2012 at 2:21 PM  

I agree so much about this new interface Diva, it's just irksome and a pointless change in my opinion. Have fun in Vegas as well by the way.

Emi April 22, 2012 at 2:25 PM  
This comment has been removed by the author.
Miss C April 22, 2012 at 2:29 PM  

Have fun in Vegas! That is quite a list.

The Bipolar Diva April 22, 2012 at 2:29 PM  

Yeamie: I know! Isn't it terrible? And thank you, I'll do my best to rock the town!

Miss C April 22, 2012 at 2:30 PM  

Yeah the interface takes some getting used to. But, you are right it wasn't broken so why fix it.

The Bipolar Diva April 22, 2012 at 2:39 PM  

Miss C, it's bugging the heck out of me. i can't figure out how to link previous posts to a new post.

gracefully50.com April 22, 2012 at 3:32 PM  

Haha, I wish I had this list a few years back when kids were living at home. Would have prevented some stuff that went on while we were gone.
Hope you have a great time!!

Jeannie

Tami April 22, 2012 at 4:26 PM  

I see a few people are complaining about the blogger interface. I haven't noticed a different on mine.

On another note, I tagged you in my most recent post. Play along if you'd like.
xoxo

Rob-bear April 22, 2012 at 7:28 PM  

If I didn't know better, I'd swear you're just plain downright suspicious of your kids.

How are you going to build trust like that?

Never mind; forget the question.

angel shrout April 22, 2012 at 8:06 PM  

With all the complaining about bloggers new interface I am glad I switched to WP. I would have gone OFF> Who says they only act like that when you are gone for a few days. Mine do that in a few hours. Have fun sweetie you need some fun time.

Dazee Dreamer April 22, 2012 at 8:45 PM  

Loved this frack out of this post. And have fun in Vegas

Recovering Church Lady April 22, 2012 at 10:37 PM  

Hahaha! Love this list. It speaks clearly that you are an experienced mom!

MarkD60 April 23, 2012 at 6:12 AM  

I just got done posting about hating the new interface.
Have a good Vegas trip.

Babes Mami April 23, 2012 at 10:55 AM  

filing these away for future years! I like the coming back one day ahead of what you tell them.

Mad Mind April 23, 2012 at 1:53 PM  

LOL!!! All great tips.

Anna See April 23, 2012 at 2:52 PM  

great list! we can all learn from you.

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