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The Random Bipolar Mind

Monday, July 2, 2012

I always feel guilty if I don't write something of substance or something with a little touch of humor, but tonight I have not much except random thoughts that don't have anything in common other than they come from my blonde, bipolar mind. Oh, and the blonde part, it's only to blend in the gray that seems to have taken up residence on the top of my head. And the bipolar part, it's only a state of mind right? Well, I thought that was mildly amusing. So like it or not, here goes.

  • Tuesday will be the sixth anniversary of my hearing the words, "Oh Teri, Honey, I'm so sorry but your mom just died." My uncle told me over the phone from 2300 miles away.
  • Before I turned 50 I didn't think being 50 would bother me, and it didn' first. It didn't bother me at all until I actually had to write that I was 50 on a form, then I kinda had a wee bit of a melt down. I had to remind myself how totally rad it is that I have, and ride, my own Harley. Yeah, that pretty much rocks. 
  • My Dad always used to say, "so I said to this emu..." No one ever found out what he said to the emu, or why he was talking to one.
  • I want to go off of my mood stabilizer. Thinking that's not such a great idea. It stabilizes me but a little too much. It quells my creativity. Maybe I'll see if I can lower the dosage or if there's another option I can try.
  • I need to have my watch serviced. Who in the hell has their watch serviced? The service on my watch is more than the service on my car. I think it can wait.
  • Sometimes I wish I had some of the OCD traits of bipolar, like cleaning. I hate to clean. It seems totally useless, especially with so many kids. 
  • I LOVE my Mac. I'll never go back to being a PC girl, well I've never been a "PC" girl. 
  • It really pisses me off that because I wore one contact to get my driver's license renewed they put it on my license that I have to be wearing corrective lenses to drive. I only wear the contact to read. I use my other eye for distance. Now I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to pay the money to be retested without the contact.
  • Worker's comp is a total scam. We have to pay $21 per hundred dollars of payroll. We've never had a worker's comp claim, ever. 
  • I better not have just jinxed us by typing the above sentence. 
  • Since the "Affordable Healthcare Act" was signed into law my health insurance has gone up $800 a month. What's so affordable about that? Plus I've lost 4 doctors that have closed their practices because of it. 
  • Blogger has shut down on me seven times since I began writing this post. 
  • My book is finished. It's ready for the final edit with the editor. She loves it by the way. 
  • I keep sneezing. What the hell is up with that?
  • I really miss my brothers. 
  • My thoughts have become less random over the course of writing this post so I think I shall call it quits and open a bottle of wine. 


Princess Kate July 2, 2012 at 8:10 AM  

Thursday it will be 8 years since my dad passed. Seems strange to me that all that time has passed. Love your random thoughts. Hope your doing well.

Furry Bottoms July 2, 2012 at 8:12 AM  

Love the randomcity!

I never thought of my mood stabilizer quelling my creativity. Maybe that's my problem too!?

Furry Bottoms July 2, 2012 at 8:13 AM  

And, by the way, you totally, TOTALLY rock. Still biking at 50 and doing a lot of things other 50 year olds think they shouldn't do. I like your mold much better.

Kelly July 2, 2012 at 8:20 AM  

Sometimes I wish I never got diagnosed with Bipolar 2 bc I have no clue what that really means. I hate my mood stabilizer med too. Life was easier when I was on just an SSRI med. Btw what's your book about? I'm new to your blog! Glad I found it - Mamaintheburbs

Outcast July 2, 2012 at 9:58 AM  

I kind of adore this random thoughts bullet pointing thing that you're doing Diva, I'd love to use that style of writing for a few posts in the future, it just seems like a really great way to write. I'm sorry that it's coming up to the anniversary of your mother's death as I know that must be a tough time of the year for you but it's great to hear that it's going to be your silver (I think 25 years is silver), wedding anniversary next April. 25 years of marriage is an incredible achievement in this society and it's great to know you guys are just as strong as ever, have fun wherever you go on holiday to.

Rob-bear July 2, 2012 at 10:20 AM  

Even your random thoughts are worth reading.

BTW, an Emu is a large flightless bird found in Australia. Like an Ostrich (of which it is a distant cousin). Only there are three varieties of Emu in Australia. And it appears they have more feathers than an Ostrich. A lot more feathers.

Sorry to hear your health care costs have gone up so much. If you had a really affordable health care program, like Canada's, your costs would have gone way down. And you'd have received better coverage.

When Medicare was first introduced in Canada (actually here in Saskatchewan), lot of doctors went on strike. Today, what they were striking about is so commonplace, almost nobody would want to go back to the old way. People are strange.

Red Shoes July 2, 2012 at 11:27 AM  

All in all, Life is pretty good...

You will be in my thoughts tomorrow (Tuesday).


Candace July 2, 2012 at 2:20 PM  

you're writing a book!?!? wow! that's awesome!!

Nolie July 2, 2012 at 2:27 PM  

Book? I don't remember hearing about a book.

The Bipolar Diva July 2, 2012 at 3:17 PM  

I never said anything about the book because 1) I didn't know if I could really do it, 2) I didn't want to jinx anything. 3)everyone and their dog says they're writing a book and I'm always like "yeah, whatever," when I read that. I guess we'll see if it flies.

Unknown July 2, 2012 at 3:19 PM  

Of course the editor thinks the book is awesome.. Hello you wrote it. I still can't believe you are 50. shakes my head thinking you are bullshitting me. We don't even wanna talk about obama health care. Hopefully it will get tossed when he does.. ahem..

Unknown July 2, 2012 at 4:15 PM  

I can't wait to read your book! I always thought you should write one.

You do not look like you are 50 at all. I hope I look as good as you when I turn 50.

Maybe you can find somewhere else to go to for your anniversary vacation. Is there somewhere you always wanted to go but have never been?

I wouldn't go off the meds at least not without taking to your doctor. I have done that before and it had made me more depressed and anxious then creative. Although I know my anxiety meds can make me feel like a zombie.

Unknown July 2, 2012 at 4:17 PM  

I wish I had a mac. I've always had a PC and have had nothing but problems with them.

Maybe you can go somewhere else for your anniversary vacation. Is there somewhere you have always wanted to go but have never been to?

I can't wait to read your book! I always thought you should write one.

I wouldn't go off your meds without talking to your doctor first. But, I know sometimes my anxiety meds make me feel like a zombie.

The Bipolar Diva July 2, 2012 at 4:28 PM  

thank you :)
I did get my doctor to allow me to lower my lamictal which is my mood stabilizer. I see him in two weeks. that should give me some time to adjust and see if it was a good move or not. here's hoping! July 2, 2012 at 4:51 PM  

Can I get a signed autograph of your book saying, "To Kim, my greatest fan!"


Christy July 2, 2012 at 5:04 PM  

I love this! There are days I feel the same way. I have a friend who says she loves my randomness.

I'm sorry about your mom. It's horrible. Call me because you know you can.

Dazee Dreamer July 2, 2012 at 6:49 PM  

That is cool that you have never had an unemployment claim. Can I come work for you guys. My unemployment is the only thing keeping us going right now. I hate to say it, but I'm glad that the effer that fired me, because I hated my job, has to pay for me to be on unemployment. And just so you know, when I have a new job, I'm going to write that asshole a letter and tell him what I really think of him. Too much?

The Bipolar Diva July 2, 2012 at 8:45 PM  

No, we've had unemployment claims unfortunately, like now in this economy, but we've never had a claim for worker's comp, no injuries.

Cloudia July 2, 2012 at 8:50 PM  

the main effect of the affordable care act, is that insurance companies are gouging while they can. the law WILL help!

Yes, riding on 2 wheels keeps me feeling awesome too - though I sold my big Beemer and am loving my scooter. . . .

Turning 50 was like "Go Go!" now I'm like "Yikes! I'm OLD!"

LOL- I like when our minds chat like this, biker pal :-)

Have a GREAT Week!

Aloha from Waikiki
Comfort Spiral
> < } } ( ° >

Nicole July 3, 2012 at 3:13 PM  

I tell you what, I so wish we lived closer. I think I would totally enjoy just bitching and venting with you. PS - I totally followed your thought process.. hmmm..

Claudya Martinez July 4, 2012 at 5:27 PM  

You are pretty rad with or without a Harley.

Just Two Chicks July 9, 2012 at 8:48 AM  

I love your random thoughts and the fact that you are able to jot them down. WHen my thoughts are random, I can't get past it... that's my OCD.
I DO have the OCD that makes me clean, but it also creates anxiety, and sleeplessness when things aren't exactly right. I'll start Cymbalta when I get brave enough to pop the pill. :)
The wife worked in workers comp claims... she helped people like you and your husband, get those people back to work as quickly as possible. Thank goodness you've not really had to worry about a claim.
If I were you I'd be proud to be 50 and as active and hot!! :)
I love my MAC too!!
I miss reading your stuff, and my goal is to get back to it... good luck on your book :) What is it about?

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