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Burning

Saturday, November 17, 2012

My eyes sting. They burn with an all too familiar dryness.

Dryness from the tears I refuse to let fall, tears I keep locked in a box in the corner of my heart.

They're there, just not allowed into the light of day or into the darkest of nights. 

They dare not stain the fabric of my pillow or cause make up to run down my cheek.

With tears come emotion. I've learned to keep emotion buried deeply inside for self preservation.

When the tears come, emotion floods my being, a being that cannot take on the overwhelming depth of pain, real or perceived.

Until a time comes when they can be loosed a happy face must prevail, tears must be withheld and my eyes, my eyes will continue to burn. 


 

16 comments:

YeamieWaffles November 18, 2012 at 7:27 AM  

I'm exactly the same as you Diva, I do the same thing and keep my emotions hidden but most of the time I'm successful in keeping them buried deep down although recently I've been unable to stop them from pouring out which sucks because when they pour things get really bad. I hope that you're okay though despite bottling things up, it doesn't sound like you're happy right now.

lalalady November 18, 2012 at 9:19 AM  

I find tears shed in sorrow, depths of despair, unhappiness or anguish cleanse me from the inside out. True, I shed them in privacy in my bath room, or under the sheet so no one knows, but in the end TEARS ARE the thing that put a smile back on my face...

Kimberly November 18, 2012 at 1:54 PM  

I know exaclty what this means. I hate that I do...but I do.
You nailed this feeling right on the head.
Thinking of you xo

Anna See November 18, 2012 at 4:15 PM  

love you. i actually think i need to take the time to cry more than i do. a weeping closet, maybe?

myinnerchick.com November 18, 2012 at 6:28 PM  

Diva,
why can't you release your tears? You must, dear. You must.

Xxxx

The Bipolar Diva November 18, 2012 at 8:03 PM  

myinnerchick;

there's just to many. There's been so much in such little time that I don't want to cry anymore. I want them to stay away for a long, long time. I'm afraid that if they start they'll never stop.

The Bipolar Diva November 18, 2012 at 8:04 PM  

I'm sorry Yeamie; it's such a hard place to be in and at times, like today, it happens so fast and so hard that I don't know what to do with it.

The Bipolar Diva November 18, 2012 at 8:05 PM  

lalalady;

I can see your point. Maybe one day I can make it to that place, I just can't now.

The Bipolar Diva November 18, 2012 at 8:06 PM  

Kimberly, thank you so very much.

The Bipolar Diva November 18, 2012 at 8:06 PM  

Anna; for me it just brings back all the pain that I want to forget. I guess that's not possible though.

Dazee Dreamer November 18, 2012 at 9:36 PM  

oh man. I'm sorry. here is a big ole hug from me (((((mmmmm))))))

MarkD60 November 19, 2012 at 4:46 AM  

I think ya got it backwards. The emotion causes the tears, not vice versa.
My eyes are burning too, 'cause it's Monday.

Ms. Understood November 19, 2012 at 10:53 PM  

(((HUGS))) We do what with think helps us cope. Eventually you will need to let it out.

Rob-bear November 21, 2012 at 11:36 PM  

I'm so sorry to hear all this. Blessings and Bear hugs in the midst of all the yuck.

BTW, I'm heading into hibernation now. See you in the spring.

The Bipolar Diva November 22, 2012 at 6:46 PM  

Rob; things are much better now. Still no tears though, just can't do it.

Princess Kate November 23, 2012 at 8:53 AM  

Your posts always make me think. In a lot of ways we all feel like this on ocassion. I feel like if I cry, it's a sign of weakness.

So do what I do, go somewhere and just cry. Cry for sad things, cry for happy things, cry for all things. Then fix your make up and start again. A good cry never hurt nobody.

I hope you had a great Thanksgiving surrounded by family and friends.

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