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What The Heck Is It?

Thursday, November 29, 2012

Well, I've done it. I cut my dosage (with doctor's approval) of Geodon in half. I'm only taking 80 mgs at night and guess what? I'm still sane, although it has only been one week. My goal is to totally get the poison out of my system and still be able to be sane enough to be granted a concealed weapons permit. After all Sandra Fluke said a girl needs protection, right?

Lately my stress level has increased greatly, but I partly attribute that to having to find a new girl to do my hair. Anything to do with my hair, my shoes or my lingerie can send me into full fledged panic attacks. I did find a girl to cut and color my hair. She did it today and I love it! She's the one! She corrected the major f^@k up created by the last colorist that left me looking like a blonde hooker.

So why am I experiencing such a high level of anxiety right now? My hair looks great, my shoes are all there, my lingerie is intact, and I got an awesome compliment today. A guy at Starbucks told me that I always manage to look great. How cool is that for a 50 year old grandmother that hasn't seen the inside of a gym in over a year?

But the anxiety and stress is still there. Not quite sure how to tackle it. I've taken an ativan and a muscle relaxer, I'm hiding in my room, but it won't leave. I feel this weight on me and I can't for the life of me figure out what it is.

There are several possibilities, however. (was there supposed to be an apostrophe before "however?")

Possibility number one. I haven't shopped for shoes or lingerie in months. Could it be withdrawl symptoms?

Possibility number two: I really don't like this time of year. I have such a big family and it's so stressful making sure everything is even. Those families with only one kid have it made!

Possibility number three: I have six, yes you read that right, six grandkids coming over to my house Saturday afternoon sans parents to spend the night . They're going to decorate the tree and do whatever small rodents, I mean children, do. Boy the Xanax will be flowing through my veins that night, and maybe a little Patron. 

Ativan hasn't relieved it. Zanaflex hasn't relieved it. The more I think about it, the more I think there's only one cure.

Oh Deanna, I think I need to rent your beach house for a weekend!



Susie - Walking Butterfly November 29, 2012 at 7:46 PM  

Ok hair, shoes & lingerie are not a concern for me (gasp!). BUT, six little kids coming for an overnight? Yikes I would be combing the medicine chest for help!

jen November 29, 2012 at 7:53 PM  

Only those of us with a thousand kids understand that fair comment. And can I get the name of your new stylist and convince her to move to AZ? Mine left with no forwarding address.

Candace November 29, 2012 at 8:07 PM  

It's all of the above. Six grandkids with no parents in sight?? I'm getting anxious for you !!

The Bipolar Diva November 29, 2012 at 8:35 PM  

I know, six little ones. what was I thinking? lol

The Bipolar Diva November 29, 2012 at 8:36 PM  

Jen; I feel your pain. I was so scared to have this girl do my hair, but she did an awesome job!

Mom November 29, 2012 at 8:38 PM  

You still have two hundred miles to go. Slow down, you will be okay.

middle child November 30, 2012 at 1:02 AM  

I think stress is common at this time of year. Do what you can or choose to do. Take deep breaths and enjoy the season for what it really is. My husband and I often talk about letting the kids know that we aren't doing anything for Christmas. Instead....he and I will attend any local Christmas functions be it musicals or living windows or...well there is so much to do.

MarkD60 November 30, 2012 at 5:55 AM  

What's wrong with looking like a blonde hooker?
Your problems are all based on possibility #1. Go buy some stuff.
Six grandkids coming over? You can handle it.

Anonymous,  November 30, 2012 at 6:30 AM  

I think you need a shopping trip for a pair of red soles. Yep! That's my recommendation!
Enjoy those grandkids....wish I had a few!

Outcast November 30, 2012 at 7:01 AM  

I'm sorry to hear that you're feeling anxious Diva but hopefully that will all disappear over time, I'm proud of you for cutting your medication too, I know how hard that can be.

Furry Bottoms November 30, 2012 at 7:41 AM  

This time of year IS stressful. I'm the opposite with my hair. I know I have it made with my hair dresser. She's perfect and I love her. But I hate GOING there. I hate making the appointment and going there in realty. She is always asking me if I've been dating, and I always say no, and then feel like a loser for always saying no!

Unknown November 30, 2012 at 1:24 PM  

If I were to guess, I'd bet it's the season.

My suggestion,, skip the hoidays and go shopping for shoes.. but that's just me, I'm not a doctor.

The Bipolar Diva November 30, 2012 at 2:17 PM  

lalalady, only tow hundred miles, well maybe 100 today!

The Bipolar Diva November 30, 2012 at 2:18 PM  

Middle child; good suggestions!

The Bipolar Diva November 30, 2012 at 2:19 PM  

gradually 50, I think you're right.

The Bipolar Diva November 30, 2012 at 2:19 PM  

yeamie, thank you. I wonder if it's withdrawls?

Rob-bear December 3, 2012 at 1:15 PM  

Six grandkids for the night? Piece of cake. Let (make) them look after each other! Problem solved. You can relax and just feed the little (or not so little) rug rats.

Looking like a blond hooker? MarkD60 covered that one. As did the guy in Starbucks. You can't lose, Diva!

Blessings and Bear hugs!

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