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I Don't Like Feeling I Have To Defend Myself

Friday, April 5, 2013

This isn't really me. This is not what I choose to write about, but I think it's needed, my button has been pushed. Usually I let things go and don't worry about what's being said around me or about me, but this time is different. It's affecting my husband, it's affecting my kids, as well as me, and, well, I'm a wee bit pissed.

There's trash talk being spread out there and it's time I addressed a few things. I think it's kind of funny, well, that may not be the right word, pathetic might be a better choice, what gets back to me via people that know people that read my blog and follow my personal Facebook page, as well as my fan page.

I'm very transparent, for the most part, there are a few things I don't let many people know, but pretty much what you read, what you see, is what you get. Mostly.

I'll never forget the woman at Starbucks. She has to be in her 70's and usually when I'm there...like every morning,....she sees me in "business" mode. Then there was the day I was there in my leathers, a leather halter, most of my back tattoo showing, and all my biker jewelry on, I was going to a photo shoot, and was totally in biker mode. 

Until recently, I've only had tattoos that could be hidden. So when she saw me in my "sub culture" persona, with most of my back tattoo showing, she was a bit taken. She lightly touched my shoulder and said, "Honey,  I've never seen this side of you." I really wasn't sure how to take it, but I realized then that I'm much more multidimensional than most people realize.

With my life in my blog, and my life on Facebook, almost everything can be pieced together, such as, being bipolar, loving my Harley, great shoes, expensive lingerie, and traveling with my husband, whether it be on our bikes, or in a plane. You all know I have 8 kids, was a foster parent, I've made good choices, and I've made bad choices.  I'm pretty truthful about it all. I really don't have anything to hide. If you ask me a question, I'll answer it, usually.

Some people may think I put too much out there, and that's fine, we're not all alike. I know I walk the line with a lot of things in my life, and bottom line is that it's my choice what I allow to get out. But what I've recently come to realize is that I am pretty cool. I treat people the way I want to be treated. I'm not a "talk smack behind your back" type of person. I'm friendly, outgoing, and sincere. I say "thank you" and "you're welcome." I open the door for people, I try to do my best to make another person's day a better one.

But, and this is a big BUT, things get back to me. I find it interesting what people say when they don't have the full picture of things in my life, they assume, they talk, and spread smack, and it does get back to me. Yes, I go on a lot of bike rides with my husband. I save all year for those rides. What they don't know is that I get distributions from my Dad's estate, or that I get oil checks. It's usually my money we spend, not what we make as business owners.

It's like my car.....Oh My God.....you would have thought the world came to an end when I bought my first Mercedes, and then my second Mercedes. What these people don't know is when my mom was killed, my dad begged me to take her Jaguar.. I paid off what was owed on it when I refinanced my house. So when I went to trade it, I had a TON of equity in it. I put all of that money down on the GL so I had a ton of equity in that car when I traded it for my E350. All these people see is that I got a new Mercedes, but they don't have the full story, and they make assumptions. 

I hear the same type of snippy comments about the ring I wear on my left hand. Yes, it's platinum, yes, it has nearly flawless diamonds in it, and yes, it was custom made. Most of the diamonds I had in other jewelry accumulated over the years, I bought the five center stones and the platinum. But what the back biters fail to realize is how I paid for the ring. I was in a motorcycle accident. I was very lucky I wasn't killed, my bike was totaled. I couldn't walk for five months, and I got a settlement, and with part of that settlement, I had my ring made. On my other hand is my mother's engagement ring. She gave me another ring that I gave to my sister in law because I love my brother, even though my mom and dad told me to be sure to take her all of her jewelry, keep it safe and one day give it to Karli. Hopefully one day it will be back where Mom wanted it, and if I know my brother and sister in law, it will be.

And I don't think they take into account that my husband works his ass off to make a living and to provide a living for the two incredible guys that work for us. I don't think they realize his job doesn't start at 7 and end at 5. He's up about 3:00 or 3:30 working on bids, plans or whatever may be on the agenda that week. They don't realize he works on the weekends, there is no time off for someone that's in business for themselves, especially my husband. He pretty much works 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. There are times we pay our employees and there's nothing left over. That's a risk we take, and it's a scary one.

I've gotten used to him being on the phone, working out problems, while we're on vacation. So when I'm hanging out getting a tan, he's talking shop, solving problems, and making decisions over the phone. He's always working. So if I can get him off on a motorcycle ride, or a trip somewhere, I kinda think he deserves it.

We've been foster parents and have been in situations that we would have never imagined we'd be in. We've helped kids that could be helped, and provided a safe place for those that, unfortunately, couldn't be helped. We've given a lot back to our community, in one way or another, and will continue to do so.

I'm also willing to bet that you haven't had to deal with a stalker, waited and watched as your grandson died. I bet you don't have a daughter that's had around 15 emergency, life saving surgeries, and had two grand kids born 3 months early each. And I bet you don't have a son that was hit by a car and left for dead. A passerby found him and he was life flighted to Emanuel. And I bet that none of the things I can't speak of in public have happened to you.

So, yeah, if you're talking smack, it does get back to me. I know who you are and what you've said, or implied. I guess all I can really say is I'm sorry you feel you have to attack, or smear, my family's lifestyle. You don't have the full story, and you probably never will. So be careful making assumptions, they can come back to haunt you.  And let's hope that you never have to watch as your husband shovels freshly turned earth onto your grand son's grave.

Now, let's forget this garbage and get back to our usual programming!





 

25 comments:

Andrea L April 5, 2013 at 3:28 AM  

Unfortunately, there will always be people like that, but very well said! So sorry you have to deal with crap like that....as if you don't already have enough going on...
Good idea...just forget about them, and get on with life as we love it ;)

Kristy April 5, 2013 at 5:49 AM  

You are a good person. I don't think you have to explain your lifestyle. I think it is real petty for the haters to hate because you have something nice. It is pure jealousy. I think it is real neat that you can present the two sides of you also. Business/ Biker. Don't let these awful people get you down.

MarkD60 April 5, 2013 at 6:39 AM  

This is why God gave us nuclear weapons.
I like you better angry than depressed.

Recovering Church Lady April 5, 2013 at 9:59 AM  

There is no reason for you to defend yourself. Those of us who know you, know you. Ignore the gossipers and stupid-talkers our there. Jealousy causes many to make assumptions that are totally wrong.
We love you Teri!

Angelwithatwist April 5, 2013 at 10:08 AM  

People that talk smack want everyone to not look at their own drama and bullshit. Haters hate because they will never be you, and would have never been strong enough to be you. Step on their heads when you get your blessings and say SEE YA

YeamieWaffles April 5, 2013 at 11:39 AM  

I'm really annoyed to hear that people have been talking about you behind your back Diva, that's absolutely sickening. So what if you had eight of children who you have done a wonderful job looking after, if anything that deserves credit and not scorn or so what if you have an expensive looking ring or tattoos. You're perfect the way you are and we all love you for it, I'd just ignore these idiots.

middle child April 5, 2013 at 11:51 AM  

And even without knowing this...I have loved you. I feel you through your words. You have been through much and people that judge are usually either jealous or trying to make themselves feel better.
After my 2nd husband died-of a failed heart transplant-I had many people look at me and say..."Cheer up! You look like you look like you've lost your best friend."
Sadly....I did.
Kisses!

Osbasso April 5, 2013 at 12:08 PM  

I want to see more tattoo pics. :-)

The Bipolar Diva April 5, 2013 at 12:35 PM  

In time they will come, I'm sure!

The Bipolar Diva April 5, 2013 at 12:41 PM  

MC, thank you. Usually I don't really care what people think or say. But this time I'd had enough. Especially when they look me in the face and pretend they could be my best friend. We're not friends, just know each other, and yes, I think jealousy figures into it.
I'm sorry about your husband, what a terrible feeling that had to have been. You don't say that to people, that's just rude.

The Bipolar Diva April 5, 2013 at 12:48 PM  

I usally don't pay this person much attention at all. However, I'm getting tired of her comments that make their way back me. In her case I think it is jealously. If she wants her life better, she needs to get off her butt and make it happen instead of bitching.

The Bipolar Diva April 5, 2013 at 12:51 PM  

Thanks Yeamie, Like I said before, usually I don't really care, but now it's affecting a few other things and I'm just venting. But you know what? I can bet you she'll read this and still will have no conviction.

The Bipolar Diva April 5, 2013 at 12:54 PM  

Angel, You know, it really is pathetic to follow another person's life, stalking like, talk smack and then turn around all smiley and friendly. I was out and about a while back and we saw her after another situation occurred and she wouldn't look me in the eye. Then if I block her, there will be all kinds of drama that I really don't want to deal with.

The Bipolar Diva April 5, 2013 at 12:58 PM  

RCL, thank you! I love you too, all of you. And you, well, you always are a source of encouragement for me. You seem to know what to say before I even write when I'm feeling down. I don't down about this. People can dislike me all they want, I don't care, it doesn't matter to me, but lines have been crossed and I know there is an agenda behind her words of bitterness.

The Bipolar Diva April 5, 2013 at 1:07 PM  

Mark, Ha! I would rather be angry than depressed as well, sometimes...I'm usually pretty easy going and laid back, but I will take up for myself and my family. Nuclear weapons? We may be experiencing those soon if we don't them soon if we don't do something about North
Korea.

The Bipolar Diva April 5, 2013 at 1:11 PM  

Kristy, thank you. I don't riled up often, but when I realized there's an agenda about her comments, I have no tolerance about it. And it's in a situation I can't directly deal with it face to face.

The Bipolar Diva April 5, 2013 at 1:16 PM  

Andres;

it is very sad indeed. I usually don't care, Like said, but at least I got it out of my system. I only wish I could tell her face to face. Oh well, she stalks my so who knows? Maybe she'll get the point. It's the freaking mission she's on that really pisses me off.

PopPop73068 April 5, 2013 at 2:00 PM  

My turn to talk smack! Even though we have totally different bloodlines, YOU ARE MY SISTER! I love you with all my heart, and would willingly take a bullet for you if ever the need should arise. You strengthen me.....with all the trials you have had, and how you have overcome. All this, from 2000 miles away, never having had the pleasure to meet you in person (YET). But I know you from your writings, from your family, and all they share online. From Karli-the niece, so totally lovable, even with her share of setbacks. From all I know of Jeff, I know that once we meet, there will become an instant male bond. What am I trying to say? Well, I love, respect and admire you! Those that want to make derogatory statements about you really need to watch out. You have family scattered all across the country, and from where I come from, you mess with one, you mess with them all. I come from deep in the hills, totally redneck, totally hillbilly, totally biker, and feuding folk. My family has been in a few feuds over the centuries, and our bloodline is still strong, while the others are deplenished to the point of extinction. You ain't alone sis.....and we have your back!

The Bipolar Diva April 5, 2013 at 2:08 PM  

Thanks K, ha, my brother said the same thing about bringing a bunch of bikers up here! I appreciate it! <3

Dazee Dreamer April 6, 2013 at 9:47 AM  

I think that you are one of the most awesome people I know. And people that talk smack, or spread rumors are so jealous they can't stand it. I wish I could be as honest as you.

KansasSunflower April 9, 2013 at 5:55 AM  

Diva - I've always greatly, incredibly admired you for being so open, so intimate about your life for all to see. That's a quality you have that I wish I had and I find very endearing. Whether it's good or bad, no matter what people think, you're going to talk about it, and that's so awesome. I know you're genuine, you're a good person, and while I'm sure there are things you keep to yourself, you're not afraid show who you are. If the people who are talking smack about you was as open as you are, I bet we'd be reading some mighty shocking stories and find out how unhappy people can really be - perhaps the people who TRULY need medication, not us! : )

The Bipolar Diva April 9, 2013 at 8:12 PM  

Kansas;

Thank you so much. That's nice to hear when so many people like to try to muffle what I say, or take a mere glimpse of what they think is happening, and turn it into a huge drama. You're right, I am pretty much transparent, so good, or bad, it just kind of comes out. I love your last sentence.....so very true!

myinnerchick.com April 12, 2013 at 10:33 AM  

Diva,
I love all the "PARTS" of you.

The leather, tattoos, writer, biker, kindness, lover of God, mother, wife, blogger, activist, rawness...

--this is what makes you interesting.

Xxxx

The Bipolar Diva April 12, 2013 at 11:27 AM  

Oh thank you! It's taken me a long time to accept myself, but you know, I am what I am, so be it! I love you too K!

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