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The Green Cords

Wednesday, April 10, 2013

It began as most nights around here do. Jeff took off for bed, I took Martini out, grabbed my laptop, phone, various cords for my various electronics (I am SO my father's daughter), and a glass of iced tea.

When I got to the bedroom, Jeff was already sleeping. I got settled, I plugged in the phone, I measured out my meds, then plugged in the computer, and searched for, and found, the most coveted item....the remote.

I tossed the dog on the bed and she immediately dug her way under the blankets to snuggle up next to Jeff.

I wriggled out of my jeans and dropped them on the floor. I tried to undo the top, back button on my top and ending up turning myself in circles while doing so. Why do I buy such complicated clothing? Finally I got it undone and tossed it in the laundry basket, then climbed up and into bed.

I was opening the laptop when it started. I wasn't sure if he was talking to me, or just talking back to the TV.

I looked over and he was sound asleep. He was saying something about, "she buys things where ever we go. Just let her have it." Oh, I pounced on that one!

I went into it carefully, "Buy what?"

"The green cords, or whatever you want."

I kept watching to see if he was really asleep and I carefully asked a couple more questions, and he was definitely asleep.

"So you said I could buy anything?"

He kind of scrunched down into his pillow a bit and replied, "Yes, you can get the green cords."

"So, I can buy whatever I want?"

He wrinkled his nose, scratched it lightly, and mumbled, "Yes."

"So I can buy new lingerie?"

As soon as the words were out of my mouth, he opened his eyes, looked right at me, and firmly said, "Hell No! Do you think I'm an idiot?"

Damn! I pushed it too far! He was still looking at me when he said, "I said you could buy the green cords."

"What green cords were you talking about?"

"Hell if I know, I was dreaming."

"So no new lingerie?"

"No!"

I should have stopped asking questions when he simply said, "Yes."

18 comments:

Karyn April 10, 2013 at 12:34 AM  

Yep, girlfriend, ya shoulda stopped while you were ahead. I LOVE it that I dont have to ask

Rob-bear April 10, 2013 at 12:36 AM  

Aw, that was mean to poor old painful Jeff.

But nice try!

Blessings and Bear hugs!
Bears Noting

The Bipolar Diva April 10, 2013 at 12:49 AM  

Oh Rob, I know, he's been through so much. It was just too darned funny!

YeamieWaffles April 10, 2013 at 2:34 AM  

Haha great post Diva. I have no idea what the green cords were but I'm glad that you had the permission to buy them! Maybe lingerie would be a step too far for one buying session but a girl's got to treat herself sometimes in my opinion.

Furry Bottoms April 10, 2013 at 7:23 AM  

Hehehehe I just wonder exactly what it was that "woke him up" and it's odd that he remembered the green cords after he woke up. You're too funny!

MarkD60 April 10, 2013 at 7:54 AM  

Yes, you should have quit while you were ahead, and had a voice recorder.

MarkD60 April 10, 2013 at 7:58 AM  

Once there was a little boy, he was born without a body.
His parents used to prop him up on the back of the sofa so he could watch the kids play football across the street.
He wished he had a body so he could go play football.
One day, his fairy godmother appeared and granted his wish. PLOP! A body just popped out of his neck.
He ran across the street to go play football and got run over by a truck and squished dead.
The moral of the story:
Quit While You're A Head.

Princess Kate April 10, 2013 at 8:46 AM  

If only it were that easy. Nice try though :)

The Bipolar Diva April 10, 2013 at 12:47 PM  

Karyn; shhh! I did it anyway..

The Bipolar Diva April 10, 2013 at 12:49 PM  

Furry, I think he has an ESP kind of thing when I think of buying lingerie!

The Bipolar Diva April 10, 2013 at 12:49 PM  

Ha! Mark, I shall remember that one!

Red Shoes April 10, 2013 at 7:50 PM  

HA!!!

All in all, the green cords sound kinda kinky... ;oD

~shoes~

The Bipolar Diva April 10, 2013 at 8:28 PM  

haha, could have been I guess!

Recovering Church Lady April 10, 2013 at 10:04 PM  

Haha! So funny! You two are perfect for each other.

The Bipolar Diva April 10, 2013 at 11:28 PM  

RCL: tonight he's laughing. I asked him what was so funny, he said something about ice picks, Now, I'm kind of afraid to sleep!

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