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Species Shouldn't Mix

Thursday, May 30, 2013

Yes, here is a picture of my family, most of them anyway. See the poodle in the pic? I think she's the only one that's "genetically pure," well, according to the AKC.

My brother sent me a link a couple of days ago because he thought I'd be interested in it. Uh, yeah, oh do I have A LOT to say about it, and the article brought it all up. 

The link is below if you want to read why this man in the article was "suspected of kidnapping," while he buckled his own children into their car seats. He was met at home by a police officer that not only questioned the parents, but the kids as well.

Man kidnaps his own kids.

Wanna get to the guts of this link without actually going there? Well here goes, wait, need to take
several valium before I set my laptop on fire with my pissed as hell typing skills.

Ok, back, see, that didn't take long. So here we go. The man, that didn't want his last name revealed, went to Walmart to cash a check and then went out to the parking lot and spent a few minutes buckling his kids into their car seats. 

Evidently he made a phone call, then talked with his wife before leaving. When they arrived at their home, there was a police officer waiting for them. Some, uh, I'll just say, "ignorant," person called security to alert them the man was suspicious and had three little girls and the "person" thought he may have been kidnapping them.

You want to know why? The dad was white, the mom was black, and the kids were mixed. OMG! He HAD to have been kidnapping those poor children! They weren't screaming for their parents, they weren't fighting to get away, they were patiently waiting to be put in the car.

So now, take a look at my family. See the handsome young man on the upper left? Click the pic to enlarge it. He is my first adopted child. We happened to live in the Pacific Northwest and there are interracial couples everywhere.

My husband and I saw him as a beautiful blessing from God, a baby, a gift, and answer to prayer, and he was, and is, all of those things. While we saw, see, him as a blessing, we had no idea of the ignorance we would be facing.

I have to laugh at this one. We were leaving church one day and a couple came up and was talking to us about our baby. They told us how "blessed" the baby was to have us as parents. Yeah, ok, rewind. I was thinking, "What in the HELL do you mean?" What I did say was, "No, we are the ones that are blessed." Then they actually asked, "Are you going to tell him he's adopted?" We looked at each other, and in unison, said, "Well, we think he'll kind of figure it out." What freaks!

I don't even want to go there. Is there something, some disorder, where people just blurt out what ever they think without thinking about it first? Yeah, I think so. I think it's called "dumb ass syndrome."

I can't speak to everyone's situation with mixed race kids, but I can tell you our story and a few of the things we experienced.

There was the guy, my daughter said he was about 70 or so, that, thank God for him, I didn't hear his comment, but Karli did. He, rather disgustedly said something about how he couldn't believe how beautiful white women would EVER want to have sex with, much less have a baby with, a black man.

She told me that and I was off like my 15 yr old chasing a hot dog! I was going to find that miserable excuse of a human  being and hand his ass to him. We looked everywhere we could think of looking and couldn't find him. He damn well better be on his knees thanking God that I didn't get a hold of his old wrinkly neck!

Another time we were at the car wash. I was vacuuming out my car and my two youngest kids were sitting on the concrete ledge of the vacuum. They were then about 7 and 18 months. Out of the corner of my eye I saw a man approaching. I didn't like the gut feeling I was getting. He stepped up his pace, and I just had this feeling I needed to get my kids in the car.....fast!

He got to me as I was buckling the baby into his car seat. He began rambling, then after a short time, he said, "You know species shouldn't mix." The guy was scaring me, scaring me to the point of "where in the heck is my gun?"

Then in a split second I saw a second, and then a third, man running toward me. I was about to totally lose it in the parking lot, and you guys wonder why I carry? The men that ran toward us grabbed the first man and pulled him away from me. Another man appeared. He grabbed the first guy by the back of the neck and "escorted" him off of the premises. Then they told me they were the owners of the car wash and they'd been having trouble with the Aryan Nations members that were stationed at the military base just south of where we were. They gave me the number to the car wash, and told me to call them each, and every, time I was going to bring my car in and they would have someone stand guard for us. Cool. They recognized the galactically stupid.

I took my son to Texas with me several times. Each, and every, time the white people stayed away from us, the black women stared me down, I guess they thought I "taken" one of their men, and the black men flocked around me. Ok, weird.

Another time I took my oldest daughter, she's the one that is on the right of Jeff in the picture, to the doctor. I had my first adopted son with me, and I had my second adopted son with me. My second adopted son is racially mixed as well, but you'd never know it, he was a total snow baby.

The doctor asked me to leave the room, which I should have never done, and would never do again, and he asked Karli if, "the little dark boy," was from a "relationship," one of her parents had been involved in! Luckily for the doctor, she didn't tell me until we were home, she knew better. But I did feel really good that the doctor was soon unemployed, well, after an irate phone call from some crazy white woman!

What's really sad is that if my son had been Chinese, people would have assumed he was adopted, but he was half black and half white, so I had to have been a woman of immoral character. My brother's wife is Japanese, I wonder if he ever experienced any of this? I never asked him, to us it was always the norm. We were brought up by a father that had grown up as one of the few white people in the French Quarter, in New Orleans in the 40's and 50's. Dad knew people were people and he made damn sure we knew it.

We got it from the "other side" as well. All of our adopted kids are either black, or mixed. When we went to adopt from the State of Washington, instead of the two private adoptions we had done before, we had to go to "diversity classes."

What a bunch of shit. The black woman that ran the "class" really had a STRONG dislike for what she called, "European-Americans." Yeah, we stopped her from calling us that, we, as in the entire class. One man said, "I've never been to Europe, I am an American. Your use of that terminology is insulting. You need to stop." THAT really pissed her off.

Then she went on a rant about how we would destroy the children we adopted, that we needed to feed them, "black," food like ham hocks, greens, black eyed peas, chicken and, yes, watermelon!" Um, let's all say it together....STEREOTYPE! Hello! I'm from the south, that's called "southern food," not "black" food.

When a man in the class asked if it was so bad that white parents adopted black kids, why were there only white couples in the class, she got all indignant and actually said, "Adopting is not in our culture, it's in the white culture." Ok, idiot alert.

I have to admit, my mom thought it was pretty funny when people would come by her desk at work and look at the pictures of her grand kids. One of my brother's kids are very blonde haired, blue eyed. My other brother's kids are half white and part Japanese, and my kids, well, there's an entire mix with mine. People would ask her who all the kids were, and, with pride, she would smile and say, "My beautiful grand children."  Not many people knew what to say, and most of those that did, tripped over their every word.

We live in "Lib Land." You want to know what pisses off the ones that spew "tolerance and acceptance?" Have a beautiful black girl walk past them while she's either wearing her "un hyphenated American" tshirt, or her "Conservative Chick" tshirt. They totally freak! They want her in a box. Yes, Ignorance, intolerance, nonacceptance, and downright stupidity goes every which way.

Come on people! Wise up! Leave your attitudes at the door, teach your children to accept others opinions, others cultures, just teach them to accept other people! Everyone can have an opinion, yes, in America we are free to express our opinions, but hell, why don't you open your closed minds and actually listen to someone else for once? They may actually have something to say you can learn from.

You want people to listen to you? Try listening to them. Have some respect. Grow the hell up!

With love, and very pissed off,


 

23 comments:

Angelwithatwist May 30, 2013 at 3:27 AM  

When I read that story I immediately thought of you. I was like ohhhh pleaseee don't let Diva see this, please please please. Apparently that particular prayer was unnoticed. My jaw literally HIT THE FLOOR when I read that story. I find it convenient the 'security guard' that supposedly called the police suddenly said a customer had approached them. mmmm ok then keep the customers judgmental ass right there until said police show up. Why wait until the couple got home. They apparently spent some time in the parking lot, ample time for police to appear and 'save the kids'. So many parts of this story just irritate me. Don't add up and show the absolute stupidity that one can find in Wal mart.

Karyn May 30, 2013 at 4:13 AM  

People who see color differences in your family are totally missing what the Wild, Wonderful Worleys are all about- I see love and family.

Gerald May 30, 2013 at 6:17 AM  

Diva you hit the nail on the head of the stupidity and intolerance that insists in this country. Like you I also have a blended family, and although I have not ever experienced anything of the incredible nature of the ignorance that you have faced I'm not ignorant to it's existence.

My wife and I had to take guardianship of three of our beautiful grandchildren in 2005 two which are white and one is mixed, and when I had read the story of the Walmart customer my head just about exploded!

Thank you so much for sharing your beautiful family and stories with us, hopefully it will encourage people who read it to think before they speak and pass judgments upon loving and stable families; and you're right, we are the ones who are blessed to have our children in our lives no matter how that came to be.

YeamieWaffles May 30, 2013 at 9:43 AM  

What a crazy story Diva, it's just wrong how prejudiced people are in this world, honestly sickens me sometimes.

Theresa Smith May 30, 2013 at 10:09 AM  

Thanks for the story, I can 100% empathize with it all. I am also a mixed child. I am Black and Korean. I have also experienced every kind of derogatory remark. The funny thing though, is that people have a hard time figuring me out. I grew up in White neighborhoods and I had one or two incidents that made me realize that I was "different" but I was never ostracized. However - when I started going to a public school in my last 2 years of high school, that's where I had issues. I was treated worse by the Black kids. I was asked what color I am and where was I from etc. I have been told that I think that I am White because I speak properly.

Ignorance comes from all sides. People need to wake up!

The Bipolar Diva May 30, 2013 at 10:15 AM  

Theresa, thanks for your comment. It's funny you said the black kids treated you worse than the white kids, that's the same experience my kids and my cousins had. Such a shame. My kids get it too because they don't, "speak black." So I guess there's a stigma on the proper use of language? Ridiculous! Thank you for sharing :)

The Bipolar Diva May 30, 2013 at 10:15 AM  

I'll get back to you all in a bit. Time for the doctor!

Andrea L May 30, 2013 at 11:31 AM  

That has got to be one of the most ridiculous statements I've ever heard! I can totally understand your outrage! Are we not all considered the same species, as HUMANS!?
I have to say, this particular topic was one that I never really gave much thought to, but I do remember thinking how cute it was when my oldest was in kindergarten and trying to describe one of her friends to me...she was telling me how tall she was, that she had brown curly hair, and even where her 'cubby' was, but never even occurred to her to tell me her skin was darker...simply because she didn't notice :) and that's how I think it should be!

N May 30, 2013 at 12:26 PM  

I read a different article on the same story just the other day. It's sad. I'm sorry, but no, idiots of the world, it doesn't matter what color skin you have, what food you eat, what your parents look like, or which way you vote. If you are a kind, responsible human being with love for your other kind, responsible human beings? That's all that matters. That's all they need to worry about. And just so you know, I am south of Portland (Albany) and the only people I know who fuss about voting stereotypes are actually...hardcore conservatives. I think in bigger areas it's easier to find more intelligent Republicans as well as more blind, dumb Democrats. I just know that the way I was raised, the way my parents and friends behave, was for everyone to make the best decision for them and stand up for what they believe is right. There will always be stupid people in the world, but even as a 21 year old, primarily "white" female, I have no problem standing up for any stranger. If I experienced any of those things- someone being accused of kidnapping because their children are mixed race, a doctor asking a child highly inappropriate, unnecessary, and unprofessional questions, or someone telling somebody else they shouldn't do/wear something...well, I get livid if someone doesn't listen to my logic in about 5 minutes ;) Seriously though, I think so many people think it's easier to stay quiet and keep their heads down. Unfortunately, the assholes of the world take advantage of this to walk around raucously spewing bullshit. Also, it's rather hard to reason with douchebags, but that doesn't mean I won't give it a try. I find plenty here, and I've never really lived outside of Oregon. I can't imagine what I'd see in other places.

Patty Fitzpatrick May 30, 2013 at 6:50 PM  

Proud to say I never raised my children with racism. They grew up super tolerant of other races and cultures, not so tolerant of stupidity lol guess me and the diva have that in common :)

Patty Fitzpatrick May 30, 2013 at 6:51 PM  

So proud to say I raised my girls without racism. They are very tolerant of race, sexual orientation etc. they are NOT so tolerant of stupid/ignorant people. Guess the Diva and I have that in common lol :)

The Bipolar Diva May 30, 2013 at 8:21 PM  

Angel, haha, oh, people and their ignorance should infuriate me, but so many are just "ignorant," others, "stupid, hateful, and indoctrinated."
That article really pissed me off, but, now I am "valiumed." I'm so thankful for the way my father, and mother, but mainly my dad, raised us. Growing up in the south, it's kind of a crap shoot.....long history of hatred and it's to me, BS. Change the world, don't be part of the problem.

The Bipolar Diva May 30, 2013 at 8:21 PM  

Karyn, I have a cool family I think!

The Bipolar Diva May 30, 2013 at 8:27 PM  

Gerald, so very true. The "willfully blind," totally piss me off. I LOVED what you wrote on my FB fan page about NOT calling you an "African American," that you've never BEEN to Africa...ha, my kids, without my leading, say the same thing and are incensed when people attempt to get them to "check the box." They simply write, "American," and leave it at that. One of my best friends is black, and when we adopted our first son, one of the first things she told me was to make sure he NEVER identified himself as an "African American," that why should he have to hyphenate his nationality? Her thoughts were that by doing that, you actually are degrading people saying they are not worthy of being called an American without qualification. I'm going to send you a link to another of my posts from a while ago. I'll send it tonight.

The Bipolar Diva May 30, 2013 at 8:28 PM  

Yeamie, it really does me as well. I think you have less of it in your country.

The Bipolar Diva May 30, 2013 at 8:29 PM  

Andrea! Can you believe that crap? Dude, seriously had me scared, and I don't scare easily.

The Bipolar Diva May 30, 2013 at 8:30 PM  

N; I LIKE you! You rock girl!

The Bipolar Diva May 30, 2013 at 8:31 PM  

Patty, you and I have A LOT in common!

The Bipolar Diva May 30, 2013 at 8:31 PM  

Patty, you and I have A LOT in common!

UncleGlen May 31, 2013 at 10:39 AM  

Good Grief Teri!! There are some messed up people in this world! That truly is bullshit!(you can X that out if you want)

Rachel Cotterill June 1, 2013 at 9:46 AM  

I'm with you on this one, totally. We're all *people* - and in terms of adoption, what matters is a loving home. There have been some adoption agencies in Britain who have been refusing to place kids with families which aren't an "ethnic match"... which just results in some kids not getting placed. I think that's just horrible.

Osbasso June 3, 2013 at 7:19 PM  

I've never mentioned this to you before, but my mother's sister and her husband adopted two boys about a year apart from each other. Her elder daughter looks much like her--almost a Middle Eastern look. Even though there's not a drop of that ethnicity in the family. The younger daughter is opposite--almost a Scandinavian blond

The first of the boys adopted is black, and even though it was the early 70s, hardly seemed to raise any eyebrows. So they adopted another boy--this time a boy of black and Korean descent! So the entire set of siblings all looked adopted!

The older one has his MBA, seriously looks like a young Johnny Mathis, had an apartment in downtown Manhattan until 9/11, and is now working IN the White House!

The other one lives in CA, teaches, has a family, and bears a striking resemblance to Tiger Woods. Without the muscles or attitude.

Fortunately, I don't think either of them had to put up with the crap that your kids have!

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