Wednesday, September 11, 2013
Thought I should check in, at least. Things have been good, really, really good in so many aspects. There will always be challenges, that's a given. With Jeff, things are not good, but that is in the hands of others now.
On the flip side I have amazing people in my life. There have been disappointments, true colors have come forth, in a few I thought were close, but with that knowledge came true freedom, and less condemnation. It came with a freedom never before experienced. It is to be nurtured, cared for and intertwined.
I have had an awakening of sorts, and I like it. I'm not being irresponsible, or making bad decisions. Over the years I have gotten to know the person, so long locked away, and I like that person, I like the crazy, wild child my father raised. I've made some rather amazing decisions, or rather, they found me, and who am I to turn that away? Life changing moments come at very unexpected times, and when they happen, there is no stopping them, and I don't want to stop them.
It's taken me many years to realize things that should have been realized before. My state of mind is the most important thing, and now it's in a good place with the help of couple of amazing people. I'm thinking through things carefully, and being very cautious. I believe in the end, all will be as it should.
I want my life to be full of true love, of passion, not really sexual passion, but passion that has for so long been locked away. The passion of looking into someone's eyes and knowing instantly the connection is there.
The light shines bright, it is scary and a path unknown to me before, but it's a path I want to walk, for myself. Selfish? No, I've given my entire life to the encouraging, teaching, and nurturing of others.
Now, it's my time. My time to be set free, to have, and to have freely, not material objects, but feelings that are emotionally bonded to me, and I to them, in ways unknown before.
I am on a different path, and I like it.