Thursday, February 5, 2015
It seems as if we've been moving for weeks. Boxes are everywhere, problems are always cropping up, and my body feels every day of it's 52 years on this Earth. I know I need to stay focused, if I lose it, I'll crash for a week or two, and that cannot happen now. Not only filming, but starting a new business, have to come first right now.
But I am tired physically. Emotionally, I had been a yo-yo for months, but feel much better now. I realize I must walk a very fine line to keep that in check.
It's weird knowing now that I don't suffer from Bipolar 2, but rather "severe PTSD." Those of you that have followed me for all these years know the valleys that hit one after another in my life. The treatment, however, is the same, and I'm doing pretty well.
It's a much different experience, for me, to feel more physically drained than emotionally drained. As I type this, I glance around the living room and look at our dogs. They are all sleeping, and I find myself envious of their ability to lie there, close their eyes, and instantly drift away into slumber land.
Then I look up at the numerous boxes scattered about my home and breathe deeply. After posting this I shall begin, once more, unpacking, putting things away, washing clothes, and doing my best to make this temporary house feel like a home.
Some incredible news though, we've got the rough cut of the editing finished for the show. It's amazing! We'll be filming more tomorrow, here in the town small town we've settled in for now, and then I think we're rolling. It's exciting, scary, and therapy all rolled into one.
Wish me luck tomorrow with the filming. I tend to have the ability to put everything aside, and allow my personality to flow, when I'm in front of a camera....with no freaking teleprompter! I can be silly, it lifts my spirits, and I also realize my future pretty much depends on this show flying. I cannot wait to show you some of the footage, the pics, and tell you all about it. Soon, very soon. I'll look back to see if I posted any pics from the last shoot, if not, I shall very soon.