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Where I Was

Wednesday, May 13, 2015

Eight years ago the words that follow cascaded from my core, through my finger tips and dripped onto the keyboard in mere minutes.

They aptly conveyed my wishes, and my desires, for my future at that time. So much has happened since that night when my room was lit only by a dimly burning candle and the glowing screen of my computer. In the darkness my mind was filled with thoughts no one should have to endure. Thoughts unimaginable to many, and sought by others.

I feel the need to share this, and probably a few more of my darker pieces, with you to accurately portray my mindset at the time, and how far I have come since those days of fear, frustration, and torment I experienced in my depth of my being. 

My path since then has been rocky to say the least, confusing, and uncertain as to where I would end, or perhaps begin.

My words, my feelings, and my desires of that night in 2007 are below.


Sea Turtles


The water was so clear, so aqua, so warm, so salty.

I dove under to swim with the great and majestic sea turtles.

I could feel my hair flowing behind me and the water rushing over every inch of my body

I dove even deeper following after the elusive, graceful creatures

Their effortless movement was mesmerizing. Their glances at me were all knowing

I was soon gliding behind them

They were just beyond my grasp. I knew I would soon be with them if I could just make it a little longer.

My world was moving further away and I was moving closer to theirs

I had to breathe, I could wait no longer

I took the salty water deep into my soul

It was warm. It was refreshing. It was liberating.

It permeated every crevice of my lungs and circulated throughout my body.

It filled me completely. I continued my journey and continued to take in the clear sea water

It was so easy, so natural, so welcome

Suddenly my speed increased and I found myself in the midst of the group

They had opened a portal to allow me in and quickly surrounded me

I was now one with them, one with the sea and one with the turtles.

There would be no return from this new and mysterious world.

There were reefs to discover and waters to navigate

My freedom was complete. My prayers had been answered. I would not return.

My home would be the sea, and my family the graceful shelled creatures that had in their wisdom coaxed me to follow.




Stronger today than then, 

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