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The Short of The Long Tonight

Monday, June 15, 2015

Well he found me lying in the floor unconscious, took me to the doc, another seizure. Fun times.

Then the psych diagnosed me with Stockholm Syndrome. Awesome. More therapy.

"Stockholm syndrome, or capture-bonding, is a psychological phenomenon in which hostages express empathy and sympathy and have positive feelings toward their captors, sometimes to the point of defending and identifying with the captors."

The doc is pretty freaked about the seizures. They wouldn't allow me to walk, had to use a wheelchair, but he made Harley sounds for me and pushed me really fast so I could feel the wind in my face. Can you say BEST DOCTOR EVER?

Met the woman that lives in back of me. Turns out we have A LOT in common with what we've been through.

More lab work tomorrow to check for a few things. Not gonna make light of it, serious shit going down. On the upswing I've gone from a 28 (basically size 8) to a 26-27 in jeans (size 6). Please God, don't let me lose weight in my boobs. I paid a lot of $$ for those puppies.

So tired from the seizure, gotta sleep awhile so I can do it all again tomorrow, hopefully seizure free this time.

And Susan, have fun reading. Even when you don't leave nasty comments, I can still see you're checking me out so you can burn up the phone lines with gossip. I think it's funny you have this weird fascination with my life. I guess you should, you're in the book.  Oh, and I'm not checking to see if you are reading my posts, I check my audience and stats daily, all of them. I guess some things don't change, ya know, like when you were a girl taking the "neighborhood gossip from house to house," as Denia put it. Grow up, my God woman you're almost 70. 

Enough for tonight, this chick has to sleep. Gotta be beautiful tomorrow and spread some glittery sunshine.

Delirious from lack of sleep and the seizure(s),


Unknown June 16, 2015 at 8:31 AM  

It's been a while, Teri. But I've been following. Sending you all the positive vibes and cyber hugs your way.
Remember. . in a year or two or five all the Susans in the world won't matter. But you still will. Always.
Hope sleep came fast and deep.

The Bipolar Diva June 16, 2015 at 9:27 AM  

Jamie, thank you. It's been awhile since I've been able to have the ability to write, either the attorney wouldn't allow me to, or I was just too over loaded to coherently form anything readable. It's funny, with Susan, all the while growing up I knew my mother didn't care for her, or her sister, and I never knew why, Mom had dignity and didn't involve the kids in her feelings with her sisters. After Mom died, they made up all sorts of gossip....that I thought they were going to "steal" things of my mom's, never crossed my mind. They were in such a hurry to remove all traces of her from the house I grew up in, which they had no right to do, and I wasn't ready emotionally to do so. As soon as I left another "aunt" brought in my sister in law (not her place either to go through my mothers things) and cleared it out. Anyway, after mom died my father told me of all the things Mom felt and he warned me. Sure enough, he and my mom were correct and then I saw. Sad really when you think about it. It's sad my mother never was able to convey to them how she felt, and my Dad respected my mother enough he never told them either. However, I have to give my Dad credit. My mother's other sister took incredible care of him while I wasn't there until he died and I can't be more thankful, but she, too, is just bitter. I don't get it. But oh well. I find it amusing they trash me, but we don't dare say a word about their skeletons, of which I know many. But as my doctor told me years ago, "Screw them, get them out of your life if they don't have the ability to show compassion." But I'm moving forward one step at a time, and I'm gonna be ok :)

UncleGlen June 16, 2015 at 10:54 AM  

Your Doc is right Teri... get them out of your life as they do NOT matter anymore. If they are that vile you sure as hell don't need em! And I'm sorry about your seizures! This I did not know about you. Sending you big huge hugs and lots of positive vibes!

The Bipolar Diva June 16, 2015 at 4:31 PM  

yeah Glen, another seizure. Went back to the doc today and gave them half my blood. "Bed rest and drink lots of fluids young lady." More tests next week. I'm so sick of tests.

Unknown June 17, 2015 at 5:41 PM  

We both know you've been through hell and back and just to make sure you stayed on your toes the devil himself tried to drag you back for an encore performance.
But seems you are too powerful for the asshat himself, proof positive is where you are today.
In the here and now and f i n a l l y your OWN person.

Recently I left a 15 year friendship. I well understand emotional vampirism and the cost of it. At our age, life's too damn short to have to take the time to rebound from it.
Yes, you will be ok. You know it and I know it but it was to take those baby steps at the start. Sure as the sun rises your steps are becoming stronger, your stride longer.

Ain't it grand. . :)

The Bipolar Diva June 18, 2015 at 9:54 PM  

Thank you Jamie. It's hard. I'm so sick of the lies and of the accusations from people that have NO IDEA what's happened. I spent yesterday scanning police reports, hospital records, etc. I'm going to post what the police, doctors, etc. said and get on with my life. I've found out so much more since I've been back. So many people that know the both of us have come up to me to encourage me that they saw what was happening, yet people that saw nothing because they live thousands of miles away love to accuse because they have no life. So sick of it all.
But we will conquer! many hugs to you my friend!

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